Hey everyone!
My name is Riley, and today, I’m gonna teach you how to manufacture fake outrage, get a
lot of clicks, make a lot of money, and unnecessarily demonize an entire community.
The first step you’re going to want to take is: Find a community that’s incredibly easy to scapegoat.
The best catch-all option for this is just generic “feminists” or “SJWs”, but
you can also get more specific and go with “trans people” or “gay people”.
Once you’ve identified your target community, you’re going to want to invent something
for them to do.
Be careful, though, because it shouldn’t be something they would *actually* do or want,
because that wouldn’t get people mad enough.
No, you want to make up something that’s an exaggerated caricature of that community.
For example, do you think feminists are on a diabolical rampage to turn Santa gender-neutral?
Of course not, that’s ridiculous, but the internet doesn’t know that.
So, just tell everyone that the evil SJWs want to make Santa gender-neutral.
That will infuriate everyone and make them hate those awful feminists, but it will get
lots of people to click on and share your article about it, which means publicity, engagement,
and ad revenue for you.
And who cares about the people you’re demonizing?
Those people aren’t you, and therefore, you don’t have to care about them.
Because as we all know, compassion is vastly overrated.
But what’s that you say?
No one’s going to believe you if your source is just “some random SJWs said this?”
Well then, it’s time that I taught you how to manipulate a survey for your benefit.
Sticking with the gender-neutral Santa example, you could send out a survey to a bunch of
people that looks like this.
The questions could ask stuff like: “If you could 'rebrand' Santa for modern society,
what gender would he be?” and “How would you modernize Santa’s transport?”
Because, to the person taking the survey, that all sounds like it’s in good fun.
It’s hypothetical.
They’re being asked on some weird internet survey how they could modernize Santa.
Why not say that he could be gender-neutral or female or ride a hoverboard or drink beer
or have an iPhone?
That stuff is fun, and after all, this survey is just asking these questions for fun, right?
And that’s how you get them.
Then, only report on their answers that pertain to gender, ignore all the hoverboard and beer
and iPhone answers because that would only ~complicate~ things, and then, instead of
saying that some bored people on the internet thought maybe this is how they could modernize
Santa if they had to, say that “One in four people think Santa *should* be female or gender-neutral”.
And that word “should” is important because it was not in the original question.
If you had asked people something more accurate, like, “Should all depictions of Santa be
gender-neutral or female?” or “Do you think we should force all depictions of Santa
to be gender-neutral or female?”
You would get some different answers, and those answers wouldn’t be very useful for
getting rage clicks.
So there you go, that’s how you make your claim sound “sciencey” because you had
a “survey” even though it’s all complete bullshit.
But, you might asking, what if you don’t want to go through all the trouble of making
an online survey?
Well, no worries, because if you just go on Fox News, you don’t even need the facade
of having evidence.
For this example, let’s talk about gingerbread men, or, as the evil SJWs want us all to call
them, gingerbread people.
For this plan, you’re only going to need one little molehill, and then I’m going
to help you make a mountain out of it.
In this case, our molehill is that the cafe in the Scottish Parliament decided to call
some of their cookies gingerbread people instead of gingerbread men.
Now, obviously, this isn’t a big deal.
It’s just a cookie, in a single cafe, in Scotland.
But, with that kind of attitude, you’ll never get any rage clicks.
And if you’re on Fox News and advertisers are boycotting your white supremacist show,
you really need some rage clicks.
So, it’s time to make that molehill into a mountain.
Pretend that you really believe that cookies have a gender, and that you really care about
that cookie’s gender.
And then pretend that this one cafe calling them gingerbread people is going to have some
kind of ripple effect that results in governments banning private citizens from ever saying
the words “gingerbread man”.
See, now you have yourself a scary rage-inducing story.
Those damn feminists are trying to de-genderify your cookies!
How could you let that happen!?
And then, people watching your show get mad at all those awful feminists, even though
you and I know they didn’t actually do anything and, in fact, they really don’t care what
you call your fucking cookies.
But, then you get the rage views, you get the rage ad money, and everything is fine.
No one will think it’s weird at all that you’re so obsessed with the gender of cookies.
And for one final example, let’s talk about what you’d do if you wanted to target trans
and gay people specifically, not just feminists.
In that case, I have the perfect story for you that you can easily blow out of proportion
with just a slight little twist.
Even if you proclaim to be a gay news source.
So in this case, here’s a story about how Switzerland recently updated their hate crime laws.
Previously, their laws stated that if a crime was committed against someone because of the
victim’s race, ethnicity, or religion, then that crime would be considered a hate crime
and more harshly punished.
However, recently, Switzerland updated that hate crime definition to include sexual orientation
and gender identity.
This seems like a pretty standard thing.
The US has had a federal hate crime law in place since 1969, and in 2009 they updated
it to include sexual orientation and gender identity.
Laws like this are not uncommon, because as a society we have generally decided that hate
crimes are bad.
But, all of that is boring and won’t get anyone angry.
And if you want ad revenue, you gotta get people angry over nothing.
So, instead of boring people to death with the details of hate crime laws, just say,
“Switzerland votes to send people to prison for homophobia and transphobia” or “Switzerland
rules transphobia and homophobia illegal”, because that will get people riled up.
What exactly does transphobia or homophobia mean?
Will people spend years in jail because they accidentally misgendered someone?
Will straight people get the death penalty for laughing at a bad gay joke?
Of course not, but people on the internet don’t know that, and they’re not gonna
bother to take the time to research it before getting mad.
So they’ll share your article all over the place and direct their anger at innocent queer
people, but you profit, so it’s okay.
Anyway, that’s all you need to know for scamming the internet, making people mad,
harming innocent communities, and making some money off of it all.
I hope this could help you go out there and be as unnecessarily cruel as you’ve always wanted.
Thanks so much for watching and I’ll see you next time!
Okay, hi, sarcastic Riley is gone.
It’s just me now. Normal Riley.
Just want to say here that in case it wasn’t super obvious, that whole video was extremely sarcastic.
I’m just really tired of all this fake outrage over things that are literally non-issues.
Anyway, if you enjoyed this video and would like to see more like it, I could really use
your support over on Patreon.
You can click over here to check out my Patreon, which would help me out so much, or you can
click up here to subscribe to this channel.
Thanks so much for watching, and I’ll see next time.