>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW" ALREADY IN PROGRESS.
HI, JON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?
>> HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
I'M HANGING OUT IN THE HOUSE LISTENING TO MUSIC.
>> Stephen: GOOD, GOOD.
HAVE A HAPPY EASTER THIS WEEKEND.
>> OH, YOU, TOO.
YOU KNOW, I KNOW IT'S A STRANGE TIME FOR THE FAMILIES TO COME
TOGETHER, BUT WE'RE GOING TO THE BEST WE CAN.
>> Stephen: WELL, LISTEN, HAVE A HAPPY EASTER AND WE'LL SEE YOU
SOON, I HOPE.
>> SEE YOU.
MUCH LOVE.
>> Stephen: MUCH LOVE TO YOU, TOO.
COVID-19 IS IMPACTING EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE.
EVEN NON-HUMAN LIFE, BECAUSE LAST WEEKEND, A TIGER AT NEW
YORK CITY'S BRONX ZOO TESTED POSITIVE FOR CORONAVIRUS.
GREAT, NOW WE HAVE TO STAY SIX FEET AWAY FROM TIGERS, TOO?!
COME ON!
THE SICK TIGER IS GOING TO BE OKAY.
THE ZOO BELIEVES SHE WAS INFECTED BY A ZOO EMPLOYEE WHO
WASN'T YET SHOWING SYMPTOMS.
SO I JUST WANT TO SAY: "HEY, TIGERS.
CORONAVIRUS ISN'T JUST A HUMAN DISEASE ANYMORE.
SO YOU HAVE TO STAY SAFE.
THAT MEANS STAYING HOME UNLESS YOU ARE AN ESSENTIAL TIGER.
SAY, IF YOU'RE A TIGER DELIVERING GROCERIES.
OTHERWISE, IT'S NOT SO BAD: YOU CAN BINGE WATCH NETFLIX.
OOH, YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT "TIGER KING."
YOU'RE THE ONLY TRUSTWORTHY CREATURES IN THE WHOLE SHOW."
IN FACT, IT'S THE BIGGEST THING ON TV RIGHT NOW.
IT TELLS A TERRIFYING TRUE STORY FILLED WITH GUNS, DRUGS, ANIMAL
ABUSE, POLYAMORY, AND A BIZARRE MURDER PLOT.
IT'S JUST A HAPPY ESCAPE FROM REALITY.
AND IT ALL CENTERS ON A BIZARRE FORMER ZOO OWNER NAMED "JOE
EXOTIC."
HE'S THE GUY EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT, INCLUDING THE PRESIDENT.
>> ONE OF THE BIGGEST RATING HITS OF THE CORONAVIRUS ASIDE
FROM THESE BRIEFINGS HAS BEEN A SHOW ON NETFLIX CALLED "TIGER
KING."
HE IS ASKING YOU FOR A PARDON, SAYING HE WAS UNFAIRLY
CONVICTED.
YUR SON YESTERDAY JOKINGLY SAID THAT HE, YOU KNOW, WAS GOING TO
ADVOCATE FOR IT, AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU HAD SEEN THE
SHOW AND IF YOU HAVE ANY THOUGHTS ON PARDONING JOE
EXOTIC.
>> WHICH SON?
MUST BE DON.
>> IT WAS.
>> I HAD A FEELING IT WAS DON.
>> STEPHEN: YES, I HAD A FEELING IT WAS DON, TOO.
BECAUSE ALL ERIC WATCHES IS "PAW PATROL."
THE PRESIDENT SAYS, AND I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP, HE'S GOING TO
LOOK INTO IT.
WELL, I BEAT HIM TO THE PUNCH.
BECAUSE I RECENTLY SNAGGED AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH JOE
EXOTIC LIVE FROM PRISON IN TEXAS WHERE HE IS CURRENTLY
SERVING 22 YEARS WORTH OF COURT-ORDERED SOCIAL DISTANCING.
JIM?
>> THANK YOU THERE, MR. STEVIE, TO THE ICED COLD BEER.
I'M THRILLED TO BE ON THE SHOW TONIGHT AND ESPECIALLY THRILLED
TO BE YOUR MUSICAL GUEST PERFORMING MY NEW NUMBER-ONE HIT
SONG "A LIGER ATE MY SHOES"!
>> STEPHEN: OKAY, GOOD TO KNOW.
BUT I WAS ACTUALLY HOPING TO ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS
>> SURE, ABSOLUTELY.
>> Stephen: OKAY, GOOD.
FIRST, I THINK AMERICA WANTS TO KNOW, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN
SINCE THE RELEASE OF THE DOCUMENTARY?
>> I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU ASKED THAT, LITTLE STEVIE COLBERT.
IT HAS BEEN LIKE A POOP PARADE ON PRUNE AVENUE AND I AM THE
DANG ROUSTABOUT WHO GOT HANDED THE POOPER SCOOPER.
DON'T JUST WHIZ IN MY SOUP AND CALL IT MINESTRONE CHRIS
MALONEY, OKAY, BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN SAYING FOR MANY MOONS THAT
A GREAT RAIN IS COMING AND IT'S GONNA BE A PURPLE RAIN.
A PURPLE RAIN AND PRINCE, THEM PURPLE PEOPL
EATERS.
AND IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT PEOPLE EATING, ASK CAROL
BASKIN.
>> STEPHEN: SO YOU'RE DOING WELL?
>> YES.
>> STEPHEN: GREAT.
NOW, THE SERIES HAS SPARKED A LOT OF CONTROVERSY.
DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WERE ACCURATELY PORTRAYED BY THE
FILMMAKERS?
>> I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU ASKED THAT LITTLE STEVIE B.J. AND THE
COLBERT BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU THIS, THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF
FUNKY RHUBARB PICKED IN THE TED SARANDOSPATCH
THAT PAINTS ME LIKE SOME KINDA CHICKEN-FRIED FREAK-AZOID WHO IS
CRAZIER THAN DOWNTOWN ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN.
BUT, IN FACT, THAT'S JUST A COLONEL'S 12-PIECE BUCKET OF
DEEP FRIED BALONEY BITES, AND I'M ACTUALLY A VERY
DOWN-TO-EARTH PISTOL-PACKING DOUBLE HUSBAND
HAVING MULLET MAN WITH JOIE DE VIVRE
AND A LOVE OF AMERICA'S GREAT CIGARETTES.
>> STEPHEN: SO YOU FEEL...
YOU WERE TREATED UNFAIRLY?
>> YES, SIR.
>> STEPHEN: AND HAVE YOU ACTUALLY BEEN ALLOWED TO SEE
THE SERIES WHILE IN PRISON?
>> YOU KNOW, I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED THAT 1985 CHICAGO COLD TO
THE CHAMPIONSHI BEARS, AND LET ME TELL YOU THIS, NO.
I HAVE NOT SEEN IT BECAUSE THE ARYAN NATION CONTROLS THE REMOTE
CONTROL IN THE SORT OF MULTI-PURPOSE ROOM.
THEY HAVE BEEN BINGE WATCHING RERUNS OF "THE MASKED SINGER, SO
I CAN'T GET ANYWHERE CLOSE IT TO SO I'M UP
CRAP CREEK WITH A PICKLE FOR A PADDLE AND A GRINCH UP MY CRACK.
>> STEPHEN: OKAY, GOOD TO KNOW.
THAT REALLY PAINTS A PICTURE.
LET'S CHANGE GEARS.
HOW HAVE YOU BEEN HOLDING UP DURING THE CURRENT PANDEMIC?
>> IT'S BEEN TOUGH BUT I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HEAR THE
PRESIDENT'S PRESS CONFERENCES EVERY DAY, AND THAT STUFF
DOESN'T MAKE A LICK OF SENSE.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE, JOE EXOTIC.
>> AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO DO ANY MURM ONE HIT SONG.
LET ME GET INTO MY SINGING VOICE.
♪ A LOGGERT AT MY SHOES ♪ ♪ AND NOW I SING THE BLUES FOR
YOU ♪ ♪ I DON'T RUN ANY ZOOS FOR YOU ♪
♪ WHEN THE LIGER ATE MY SHOES, TOO ♪
>> Stephen: I'M AFRAID WE'RE OUT OF TIME.
STAY SAFE IN THERE, JOE EXOTIC.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> YOU KNOW WHERE I'M GOING.
I'LL BE HERE.