[decidedly un-poppy jazz music] [computer buzzes, beeps]
Welp, soon it’s gonna be May, so what better time to cover this?
The NSYNC Hotline Fantasy Phone,
the self-described Ultimate NSYNC Game, developed by Stunt Puppy Entertainment and published by
Infogrames in 2001. “Rrrrring - It’s NSYNC Calling!” “Get NTOUCH with NSYNC right on
your own PC!” “Get NCOMING calls, watch NTIMATE videos.” And go NTIRELY NSANE with these
N PREFIXES! Yes, it’s the Hotline Fantasy Phone, a purple piece of plastic that is apparently
“better than a real phone.” Because you can take NSYNC with you anywhere, use it as a controller,
and call the guys anytime you like. Ahh, 2001 sure was a time to exist. This hails from the
golden years of cheap plastic toy electronics, with monochrome LCDs, tinny sound, and a minuscule
amount of battery-backed memory. The Cybiko, The Pixter, Tamagotchis, Giga Pets and the like. And
an increasing number of these included software adding to a toy’s highly limited featureset.
Exactly what we have here, a PC activity center/toy cell phone/creep simulation
thing that’s remained sealed for 22 years. Which we’ll open up soon, this I promise you. But yeah,
this pop culture oddity is one that retailed for between $35 and $40, depending on when
and where it was purchased. About the same cost as The Sims base game was back then,
to put the price in context. Although if you bought it from Best Buy it did
include a free bubblegum-filled lunchbox, no strings attached.
[lunchbox plonks down]
A deceptively small one, I’m disappointed to report. Don’t know
what the heck kinda puny lunch you could fit in this little thing, although...
[box opens, gum spills outward]
The quantity of gum able to be packed in here is quite respectable. And appropriate for one
of the most bubble gummiest pop bands around at the turn of the millennium.
Anyway, unboxing time. And inside the box is of course the fake cellular telephone,
along with a fake CD printed on the packaging. The real CD is packed away underneath,
inside a cloth sleeve. Alongside an instruction manual, with 47 pages
going into great detail about how the phone works, how to navigate the Hotline program,
and how each minigame plays. Ending with a Game Boy Color teaser, which would be ‘NSYNC:
Get to the Show’ from the same developer and publisher. That NSYNC IP, so hot back then,
and publisher Infogrames was proud of it. So much so it got a shoutout in the infamously cheesy
corporate anthem, “Infogrames Rocks My World.”
♪ Survivor, Civilization ♫
♪ Superman saves the nation ♫
♪ NSYNC Hotline, Dragonball ♫
♪ Alone in the Dark, and that's not all ♫
♪ Infogrames is innovation ♫
♪ The power of imagination ♫
♪ Infogrames is entertainment ♫
♪ That rocks my world! ♫
[devious chuckling] Sorry to do that to you!
Okay, no I’m not. Back to the stuff though, like batteries! The phone runs
off three AAA batteries, and immediately powers on with no way to fully turn it off, it just goes
into rest mode after a bit. It won’t do much on its own, and that brings us to the sync cable,
which plugs into a PC’s gameport and connects to the 6-pin interface on the phone. Heh, I like how
this says “for home or office use” on the back. I really hope someone in 2001 brought this into
work to use at the office. Anyway, let’s get this plugged into a Windows 98 PC and get the software
set up! Installation is simple and requirements are low, so long as you’ve got a Pentium II 233,
32 megs of RAM, and a 2MB video card with DirectX 8, you’re good to go. After this it
tries to connect to the phone, which again is done via the gameport. And no, I checked and it does
not show up as a joystick, so no playing Doom with an NSYNC Phone, unfortunately.
Anyway, if it’s successful you’ll hear this ringtone. [that ringtone]
And from here you’re free to begin the
About Me section, filling in your name, birthday, bedtime, ringtone, and your favorite guy. From a
selection of NSYNC bandmates of course, not just like, any random guy. The ringtones
play through the phone’s tiny speaker, with 5 short clips of NSYNC tracks.
[ringtones play one after another]
And from here it’s down to you to peruse the software, playing minigames in All Access Pass
or No Strings mode, customizing the phone further, or going Behind The Scenes once you’ve unlocked
that. And when you’re ready to say “bye, bye, bye” clicking “Gotta Bounce” will quit the program.
Though not before sending secret messages to your phone! What exactly it sends is pretty randomized,
but every time you close Hotline it selects an assortment of PMD files to upload,
with lo-fi audio messages and texts from the band. And the idea here is that you can continue
the NSYNC experience away from the PC, with quote unquote “phone calls”
coming through every five minutes or so. [phone rings repeatedly]
Whether you pick up immediately or receive the voicemail,
the results are the same, usually a message of incredible importance.
[phone beeps] -“Man, I got popcorn in my hair!”
In addition, they’ll also send messages, both voice and text, based on information from the
player’s profile on PC. Like wishing you a happy birthday, saying good night as it approaches
bedtime, and expressing their concerningly rising admiration, and affection. Which uhh, gets into
slightly creepy territory if you think about it. Considering this is made for players ages 8 and up,
and everyone on the box looks like, 12. I know it’s just supposed to be some silly fun,
but out of context? It’s a buncha dudes ranging from 20 to 30 years old calling up kids to
tell them how much they miss them, wanna spend time with them, and saying how good they look.
-”Lookin’ gooood!”
-”You know your voice brings a little smile to my face.”
-”Now THAT is hot!”
-“You bowl me over.”
“Rrrrring-It’s the cops calling!” Ehh. Thankfully as a 36-year-old
with a thinning hairline and a mortgage, I feel at ease being
complimented by 2001-era Justin Timberlake and probing his thoughts late into the night.
[dials numbers, telephone rings]
-”Hey, it’s Justin! You can ask me whatever you want.”
- You ever gonna get rid of that Ramen noodle hair?
[phone beeps]
-“No way!" [goofy chuckle] -I didn’t think so.
Yeah you can also treat the phone as a slightly higher tech Magic 8 Ball. Call up any of the
guys using their printed phone numbers, and ask yes, no, or maybe questions to receive a
randomized response after hitting the “talk” button. We are truly in the 21st century.
-”The number you dialed is incorrect.” ”Please check the number and try again.”
- The remainder of the experience is all in Windows and, well. It is what it is.
A program made for tweens with crushes on pop stars, the kinda kids with stacks of
Bop and Teen Beat magazines packed with interviews, trivia, and foldout posters.
It’s also a program that exists solely because a bunch of music executives, industry bigwigs,
and IP lawyers all came together and agreed to fart out just enough cash to hire a small
team of developers to make this as quickly as possible. It’s draped in corporate self-interest
and out-of-touch management, perfectly summed up by how when starting a new game you’re greeted
by what every 8-year-old craves: a message from band manager and WEG president Johnny Wright.
-”Hi, I'm Johnny Wright, NSYNC’s manager, bringing you a totally new, totally exclusive game
called NSYNC Hotline. Use this special phone because it's your direct connection to them.
You can help them get things done and then they'll give you a number
where they're going to be next. Oh, and I definitely need to tell you,
there's a very special surprise when you finish the game.”
- Coooool.
So the story goes, and yes there actually is a story... the NSYNC concert is sold out,
oh noez! Probably Ticketmaster’s fault somehow, they’ve sucked for decades. But don’t let it
tear up your heart, simply prove you’re their biggest fan and you’ll win tickets to the show!
And this is accomplished by dialing phone numbers given to you by,
uh. Johnny Wright? I guess? Doesn’t matter, just dial those phone numbers,
kid. Which is done physically on the phone itself, kind of a neat gimmick.
You can also use the keyboard numpad, but having a little toy cell phone certainly adds some charm.
So from here you’re taken to a new location and finally get some action with one of the guys.
-”Okay. Help us out here. It's time for us to practice our quick change
for the concert. We each put together some outfits and the rest of the guys have to match up.
It's hard to keep it all together and move fast enough to get back on stage.
Help us find the right pieces. One guy at a time.”
- Ah man, that charisma is off the charts, I’m swooning over here. Anyway there are five
minigames to complete: Bowling, Make A Move, Quick Change, Charity Challenge, and Trivia.
The order in which you play them is randomized, though No Strings mode lets you pick and choose,
provided you don’t care about unlocking things. And yeah, despite not showing up as a joystick
in Windows, the phone does function as an input device! Though only within the Hotline program. So
you’ll be dialing phone numbers to move around, changing the guys clothes to match their own
stated personal styles, firing cupid arrows at floating objects to earn money for charity
somehow, answering wildly mundane trivia questions while NSYNC does the worst MST3K episode ever,
loosely commanding marionettes in Simon Says fashion to royalty-free music, and tossing
balls at bowling pins with the NSYNC member’s heads on top with the worst bowling physics
you’ve ever seen. And it’s all over in roughly 30 minutes. And thank goodness, cuz these games suck!
Unsurprisingly. Heh, whatever, it’s fine! It’s one of those things where the intended audience
was less concerned about quality and more so, just, happy to see their favorite group on-screen
at all. And gaining access to the Behind the Scenes features is somewhat rewarding, I guess?
It amounts to little more than a single blooper for each bandmate and a handful of photos,
but it’s something. There’s more to unlock if you complete every minigame on the highest difficulty,
but [scoffs] Nope. Nope! Don’t care enough for that, I’ve seen all I need.
And that’s the NSYNC Hotline Fantasy Phone game, a thoroughly forgettable experience other than the
phone itself. Yeah... I don’t know why I covered this [laughs] I dunno, I just see a toy cell
phone PC peripheral from 2001, and I’m drawn to it like a moth to an Oddware flame. Uh, in
hindsight I learned nothing and this was far less interesting than I hope it’d be. But I suppose if
I was part of the intended demographic back when it was new, I’d probably have differing thoughts.
The band virtually texting and calling throughout the day was a neat gimmick for a toy cell phone,
especially back in the days before every kid had their own touchscreen computer in their pocket.
NSYNC Hotline is the kind of product that makes absolutely no sense today for a multitude of
reasons, and I think there’s a sort of weird charm to that. At least for a few minutes, and I’ve
spent a little more time than that making this, that ain’t no lie. Bye bye bye. Bye bye. Eungh.
[laid-back jazz, random bowling sounds]
Yeah I didn’t know how to end that video, in case you couldn’t tell, but anyway I hope you enjoyed
something there regardless. If not, whatever, I’ve covered a bunch of other retro computing
things here on LGR, with new stuff always in the works. And as always, thanks for watching!