let's talk about this boyfriend uh i
have some gel i have some jealousies
uh i want to know who this guy is you
and i have known each other for a long
time
i always thought i was the right one for
you but you went another way
you're married so it would be hard to
make that work
i don't know i'm very flexible in my
thinking uh
i have a very european attitude towards
marriage now
okay um my wife can't stand me so you
know we'll talk about that later that's
a separate call
a private call who is this guy i hear
he's from amsterdam
why is your boyfriend from amsterdam
okay he's
see i've always kind of thought guys
from other countries were kind of cute
right because they have an accent or
like oh they
speak italian or they speak spanish you
know but dutch is like not a very sexy
language like when a guy speaks dutch
it's like
oh my god maybe he has something wrong
with his throat
it is a it's an ugly language i'll just
say that
he is he's cute you know he starts
talking in dutch and i'm like oh i'm
gonna get all turned on because he's
speaking in another language but then
it's just like
so you like guys that are from uh
european countries
i mean i do like a guy with an accent
but i mean you know i'm open-minded
i could also like an american guy but um
but yeah dutch is not the sexiest
language did you know that i was born in
norway
wow let's hear you speak in another
language
yet
yeah i lived in norway until about four
years ago
wow yeah i came to america four years
ago and more sexy every minute i mean
do you remember the movie fish called
wanda she was really turned on by
accents too
yeah no i just thought you should know
born and raised
in norway don't ask me too much about
norway
various cities and things i i don't know
but i had a lot of herring growing up
and there was a fjord nearby i remember
that very well
being a viking you know yeah well i've
got that kind of
you know viking thing about me um
you uh how are you getting through this
pandemic because you seem
like a very serene calm person i've
always thought that about you
and i've thought that you would be
probably very
i don't know uh even keeled
during this crisis well i can get pretty
you know
nervous sometimes so but i do a lot of
yoga and i've been doing this thing
called yoga nidra because i have trouble
falling asleep um my boyfriend he falls
asleep really fast i get really mad and
really jealous
and so can i say one thing why do you
keep bringing up the boyfriend
everything goes back to the boyfriend we
get it
okay well conan it's is about you and me
right
now okay so i have trouble falling
asleep so i do yoga nidra maybe you
might enjoy it
uh this woman talks to you in this
really soothing voice her name is
jennifer piercy i'm obsessed with her
and she just goes like your left ear
your right ear your left nostril your
right nostril
in the sense of vacation mouth
and then i'm like isn't that yeah that
made me feel really relaxed she's like
feel a sense of vacation mouth you know
and i'm like oh because i clench my jaw
and i'm like
oh it really helps you relax your mouth
so
vac so what she does is you go you you
you
focus on whatever area of your face or
your body and then you get to your mouth
and you say vacation mouth
yeah is it working for you this is my
vacation mouth
it looks the same i know it looks good
now i'm just looking at wherever i go
you know that old saying wherever you go
there you are yeah
but she said funny things like free your
eyes i'm like i don't know what that
means but
i don't want my eyes to be freed i want
them in the sockets
where they belong i don't want them
gangling around
her voice just makes you go like like
you know oh her voice is amazing
and then um she gets the whole body
relaxed
yeah oh and she says she says free
yourself into the healing darkness
let your worries go into the healing
darkness can i say something heather
that's what they say to people
when they uh when they're dying and they
want them to let go
i just want you to remember that you
know they gather around the bed and go
you can go now
go go leave uh what's your boyfriend's
name what's his first name
his name is dennis wait
you just went on you went on and on and
on about
how exotic and he's dutch i thought his
name was gonna be like
dennis his name's
larry what are you talking about
her dog is named dennis so every time
she's talking to her dog i think about
my boyfriend
waits dennis that's ridiculous
is it too boring for you well no he's
supposed to have this exotic name
like yes
every time you say his name you should
have to get out some windex and a wipe