So I get invited to the Jurassic world premiere pull to the red carpet the Chinese Theater
Walk in, watch the movie, the movie ends. This guy comes in. He's like, okay everybody. Let's go upstairs and
Party, I was ready to go home and watch some anime cuz hashtag hermit life
I didn't even Cano there was gonna be a porty me and my date follow everybody up these stairs we get in and
Universal
Spared no expense. They covered the walls and bushes. They had props from the movie they even trained
velociraptors to walk around and serve wine so we walk around the party for a little bit and my date sees
The guy from new girl that was in the movie. Should I go ask for a picture? Yeah
He's standing over there by himself. Go got a picture girl. Excuse me
I don't want to disturb you but can I get a quick picture? I think a few pictures of him and she's like I
Love new girl. Oh really if there's talking her up
Alright. Yeah, I look over and I see the kid that was in the movie walk over to him
I'm like brah. Can I get a quick pic Shore? Yeah, so I take the picture and then all of a sudden I
Notice a disturbance. There's a group of people in a tiff. Boom. I see his face clear as day and I'm like Oh,
Bump hashtag hermit life cowboy bebop can wait. I need to feed my Instagram
And if I get a picture with Chris Pratt, I'm gonna be stunting on all my exes. Oh my god. Oh my god
Oh my god. Oh my god, it's him
So I say to her I says listen, we got to get a picture with this dude. You're the best play
We're gonna push through this crowd. He's gonna take a look at you. You're a really pretty girl in a sexy dress
He's not gonna say no to you. He was headed north ish
I don't know which direction it was cuz I don't work for National Geographic, but he was walking away from us
they looked over at us and he saw my date and she held her hands up and did like the signal for pictures and I
SLAAAAAAAAAAYYYYMeeeeeeeee
Shifts, he takes a step in our direction and takes a picture and another step in our direction and takes a picture then darts
Right over to my date. Hi
I hate to bother can't be a quick selfie with you sure you can she takes a few selfies
I bust out my camera. So I'm taking pictures of them taking pictures and I'm there like yes. Yes. No, no, no, no, no
Yes, yes. Yes. Yes, so then she's like, okay. Thanks. No problem
This is my moment. So now I'm millimeters away from this dude guardians of the galaxy
Jurassic pork and I wasn't scared to ask as I was nervous. I was more scared to ask because the fist dude says no I
May hate him forever
I bumped in a Natalie Portman at the airport one time
I was two feet away from her but I was afraid to ask for a picture cuz if I'm like hey
Can I get a picture and she's like, no leave me alone
I'm have to go home and make a voodoo doll of you and I'm not ready to not like you
So, let me just not even say anything but I was like, you know what bump it. Hey, mr
Pratt, can I get a quick picture? And then he puts his arm around me. You know what?
Let's just enjoy
the rest of the party and walks away the violin players from Titanic show up all of a sudden and they're like *10/10 Titanic instrumental by my young j Swooz*
I
Look over at my date. Which filter should I put on here?
Sierra or Valencia, huh?
Hmm by the way adonde, can you like?
Airdrop me the pictures you took of us. I know you've done like 90 of them
But, like could you just airdrop me 75 with him, please. I just wanted one picture
Chris Pratt's over here. Like uh, uh, uh, you didn't say the magic word
Uh, uh, uh, so the next day my date post a picture with her and Chris and her IG, bro
Did it up every one of her exes the end her like are you freaking kidding me?
You're hanging out with Chris Pratt and I'm sitting there all salty like man
I want to make my exes peanut butter and jelly. Uh, yeah. So, uh CP can I call you CP? CP
I still want that picture. So I don't know. I don't know how you want to do this
do you want to have your agent get in contact with my
Agent and they do lunch and then they work out like a day and time for us to meet a PF Changs
And just so you know, I'm traveling in two weeks
So like the end of this month is not good for me. But after the first week of next month, I'm good. So
lmk broski
*emphasis on each letter* L M K