Autism professionals and parents often have a lot of questions surrounding disciplining
children with and without autism.
There's added confusion about what discipline is, and how you should do it.
So today we're talking all about the important subject of discipline.
Hi.
I'm Dr. Mary Barbera.
Autism mom, board certified behavioral analyst and best selling author.
Each week I provide you with some of my ideas about turning autism around.
So if you haven't subscribed to my YouTube channel, you can do that now.
The word discipline, according to the dictionary, means training people to obey rules, or a
code of behavior using punishment to correct disobedience.
Therefor when you think of the word discipline you often think of punishment.
As a behavior analyst who believe in an almost exclusive positive approach, this definition
is upsetting.
Even though some forms of discipline, like spanking, are now considered abusive, which
I believe they should, the use of other punishment techniques like, time out, threats and even
yelling or verbal reprimands, are used in schools and homes pretty frequently.
But for decades the research has shown that all animals, including humans, learn best
in the absence of punishment or the threat of punishment.
The best book I know on parenting, with a totally positive approach, is called Positive
Parenting by Glen Latham.
This outlines the importance of a positive approach for all children.
Unfortunately many do not use a completely positive approach, and often include punishment,
or the threat of punishment for kids at homes and at schools.
There's even a bigger issue with disciplining, and especially using punishment for kids with
autism and related developmental disorders that are rarely highlighted.
Today I am going to highlight some of the considerations for kids with special needs
as it comes to discipline.
Number one.
Children with autism often have language and cognitive delays, making them incapable of
understanding the language of even simple rules such as, we keep our hands to ourselves,
or we need to be quiet now.
A six year old might have the language ability of, say, a two year old, and that child cannot
be expected to know how to stand in line, keep an appropriate distance from other kids,
and wait for his class mates to be ready.
All children need to be taught based on their abilities, strengths and needs, not their
actually chronological age.
Reprimanding or punishing a child for not following classroom rules when he doesn't
have the comprehension abilities of these rules is just inappropriate.
Number two.
Many parents and teachers of kids with and without disabilities don't know how to discipline
without threats and punishment.
We never were taught this in college or even high school.
Even if you took a course in college on classroom management, say you went to become a teacher.
This classroom management course was not an intense focus on ABA, Applied Behavior Analysis,
which is the science of changing socially significant behavior.
The methods used by well meaning adults, currently, such as time out or yelling, often backfire
and children become more disruptive over time, not less.
It would be like having me try to fix your car.
Since I'm not a mechanic and have no idea what I'm doing, I'd likely make a mess of
things just trying to fix the car without education and experience.
You may think that reducing problem behaviors is not rocket science, but I'll tell you,
it is complicated, and we can't just use the techniques used by our parents raising us
as a guide for how we should discipline or have a positive approach to raising kids or
teaching them at schools.
In general, I say that treating problem behavior willy nilly, just making it up, is a bad idea,
and it almost always makes the situation worse.
Number three.
Time out is one of the most over used, and it's a procedure used incorrectly most of
the time.
If time out is used for any child, it should be a rare occurrence, and should work quickly
to decrease behavior.
The problem is, as I said a minute ago, time out is almost never used correctly.
As a parent, before I was a behavior analyst in the late 1990s, I used time out only a
few times with my typically developing son Spencer, and never used it for Lucas, who
has moderate to severe autism.
As a BCBA, since 2003, I've recommended time out on very rare occasions after careful assessment
and a lot of data and oversight, and always trying a totally positive approach first.
You shouldn't be using time out daily or even weekly.
If you are using time out so frequently, you are being too over reactive and not preventing
things enough.
If you're a professional using time out in any setting this should be a planned procedure
approved by the team, including the parents, and you need to be collecting a lot of data
using a positive approach in combination with any kind of time out procedure.
Okay, now I've told you what not to do.
Don't treat a child based on actual age without considering his language and cognitive abilities.
Not to use punishment willy nilly, or on a regular basis.
And to really think about the use of time out.
Now you're probably wondering how you are suppose to discipline children with and without
autism.
I could go on and on for hours and hours, so these are gonna just be a few tips.
Number one.
Each child with autism deserves an assessment of his or her strengths and needs.
You can start with my one page assessment as part of my three step guide at marybarbera.com/join.
Number two.
If a child has the language ability of a much younger child, don't expect them to follow
the rules.
They may need one-on-one support at school, and a lot of attention and teaching at home
too, as just one example.
Number three.
You need to learn all you can about the science of applied behavior analysis using a positive
approach instead of punishment or threats with all the people in your life, especially
children with autism.
I hope you enjoyed this video blog.
If you did, wherever you're watching it, I would love it if you'd leave me a comment.
Tell me what your idea of discipline is.
Give me a thumbs up, share this video with others who might benefit, and to learn more
about how to help children with autism, download my free guide at marybarbera.com/join, and
I'll see you right here next week.