- Please welcome, Rachel bloom.
(audience applauding)
(upbeat music)
(escalating upbeat music)
- Oh my God.
This is, oh.
- This is everyone - This is my childhood.
- Everyone who worked on this show,
your wardrobe team got this together
with like a day or two notice.
They're amazing.
- You know why? Because...
- They're amazing. Yes.
(audience applauding)
- If you don't know this, we're dressing for the '80s today
and this is literally top three characters of all time
for me, especially for my childhood.
Labyrinth, David Bowie.
It was amazing. (audience applauding)
- They mentioned that, that this is your favorite movie.
Well, first of all, this is how I dress.
- First of all, what?
- And I was like, what's Labyrinth? This is me.
- (laughing)
So so Monday.
- Yeah. What?
- It's really all about the eyebrows.
- It's the pointy eyebrows,
right? - It's amazing.
I mean, you're about to just break out
The Babe With the Power, it's gonna be amazing.
Did you love the movie as well?
- I did.
I remember the first time I saw it
and I was titillated and disturbed.
- (laughing)
'Cause like they're kind of scary.
Like a lot of it, it's like very scary. Yeah.
- They're horrifying.
- Yeah.
- What I love about Henson, Henson never talk down to kids.
- Yeah.
- They always assume the best of children
even when they're making terrifying stuff.
- Yeah.
- And so I was terrified.
And then you see David Bowie in that movie and I was a kid
and I was like, what am I feeling here?
(Kelly laughing)
I'm feeling something, but I didn't know--
- And what was he feeling there?
'cause his pants were tight. - He has that (laughing)
(audience laughing)
Do we think that was him or was that like a cup?
We'll talk about it.
(audience laughs)
- I'm just saying, like for a child you were like,
it looks like a wrestler.
It looked like a lot happening down there and yeah.
- It definitely confused me about,
I looked at that big bulge and I was like,
(Kelly laughing)
wait, what is the male anatomy then?
- Why don't I have that?
- Is it one circle?
(Kelly laughing)
(audience laughing)
- It was amazing.
So wait, your new book,
so this is, "I Wanna Be Where The Normal People Are".
Yes. So, first of all, what is normal?
And then secondly, what's this cover art about?
- Okay.
Well this is obviously her getting back to Judy Bloom,
classic Judy Bloom covers.
- Yeah.
- Which was a huge part of my childhood
reading Judy Bloom books because they were,
I think the first books I read that, again,
didn't talk down to me.
Were like this is what it's like to be an adolescent,
it's weird and gross and stinky.
and my whole book's about normalcy
and struggling to be normal.
And then of course coming to the conclusion
there's no such thing as normal
unless you're dressed like this
'cause this is super normal, obviously.
- It's super normal (laughs).
(audience laughs)
- I hope you go get coffee after this (laughs)
just walk in like it's normal.
Actually, it probably is normal for LA (laughing)
- Yes, absolutely.
- Actually, they'll just be like, "What's up?"
- Oh, I live in Silver Lake.
This is every day for me. (Kelly laughing)
- But carrying around the crystal ball (laughing)
is everything.
So wait, you share in the book that you didn't potty train
until you were four.
- Correct.
- Correct?
Strong, confident answer.
Correct.
Were you just against it?
'Cause sometimes one of my kids,
they just didn't wanna miss their show
or they didn't wanna miss anything.
So they didn't wanna go to the bathroom.
Is this what it was for you?
- You know, I did the thing that I think a lot of kids do
where I was going pee pee in the toilet fine.
- Yeah.
- But poopy time was special
(Kelly laughing)
and the weird thing is - I wanted to keep it.
- I kind of remember it.
I remember telling my mom, cause I was four,
I remember being like, "Mother, I have to poop now,
put a diaper on me."
I wasn't like that, I'm not like British and Royal
(Kelly laughing)
but you know what I'm saying?
Like I just remember being able to articulate
when I had to poop, and then what I would do
is I would poop in my diaper
and just kind of pontificate in my room while I was pooping
and walking around.
I remember it being wonderful,
so I didn't wanna let that go.
- I love this. Cut to you being like way older in the future
and back in a diaper (laughing) and just really loving it.
(audience laughing)
- Yes. Exactly.
- I always love that we come into the world,
how we leave, (laughing) it's like, it's amazing.
- I'm looking forward to that.
- I'm looking forward to being really old.
Yeah, I feel like you could say anything.
Older people could say anything.
You get away with everything.
(audience laughing) - Oh yeah.
- I'm like, if I said that I'd get murdered,
but it's funny coming out of your mouth.
Yeah. I just think it's funny.
I just love that it took you that long.
So here's the thing.
Wait, we actually have the video
'cause I think they were very excited about this moment.
So we have the video of your actual first moment.
- This is the first time I attempted to poop in the toilet,
this is the actual video.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- [Woman] You're not?
- No. I can't go.
- [Woman] You're not going poop?
- I can't.
- [Woman] Why not?
- Because I can't.
- [Woman] Why can't you go poop?
- (crying) I can't.
- [Woman] Don't you wanna get this for posterity?
(Kelly laughing)
(audience laughing and clapping)
- So my kid, one of them is like, "Can you leave the room".
Like, my son has to be...
He's like, I cannot.
But then I'm like, "You're not allowed to wipe yourself"
because then it's everywhere.
- I will say that later in the video,
'cause my mom says don't you want this for posterity?
And it's like, oh wait, does she not wanna be videotaped?
Seconds later my mom goes, "I'm sorry,
do you want me to turn the camera off?"
And I go, "No",
(Kelly laughing) I go, "Leave it on".
(Kelly laughing)
So I was fine.
- I really wish we would've known each other as kids.