The sass-mouthed web slinging superhero- probably one of the most iconic characters of modern
American media and instantly recognizable around the world.
With super strength, danger sense, the ability to fling webs, and some seriously unresolved
dead uncle issues, Spiderman slings across the streets of New York City fighting crime.
But what if you were locked into a 1 on 1 deathmatch against the web-slinging superhero-
what chance would you have, and how could you overcome him?
Hello and welcome to another episode of The Infographics Show's Could You Defeat It- today
we're pitting the average joe up against Spiderman.
Spiderman was created by the legendary Stan Lee and Steve Ditko, first appearing in Amazing
Fantasy #15 in August 1962.
Stan Lee would go on to say that the inspiration for Spiderman came from a desire to create
a character with whom teenagers could identify, and cited the non-superhuman pulp magazine
crime fighter the Spider as an influence.
Although teenage superheroes at the time were given names that ended with “boy”, Lee
wanted the character to age over time and thought that the name Spider-Boy would have
made the character sound inferior vs other superheros.
As the character headed to print, Stan Lee was responsible for bringing the character
concept and story to life, while Steve Ditko drew the costume, came up with the wrist web
shooters and the spider symbol.
Spiderman was an instant success, with his first appearance in Amazing Fantasy being
one of Marvel's highest-selling comics at the time.
On March 1963, Spiderman went prime time with his own solo comic dubbed The Amazing Spider-Man,
eventually becoming Marvel's top selling series.
But who exactly is Spiderman, and what would you be facing if you took him on?
An ordinary high-school student, Peter Benjamin Parker was a science-whiz and orphan living
with his Uncle Ben and Aunt May.
One day he is bitten by a radioactive spider (this was before it was widely known that
the only superpower radiation gives is cancer), and acquires agility and strength proportionate
to a human-sized arachnid.
But how strong exactly is that?
Well, assuming Peter Parker got the best abilities from all spiders, he would be able to jump
50 times his own body length.
Norwegian athlete Arne Tvervaag's world record for the standing long jump stands at 12 feet
and 2 inches- but with Spiderman powers he'd be able to jump 300 feet from a standing start.
What about his climbing ability?
Spider legs are covered in very tiny hairs which are in turn covered with microscopic
organs that seize on to tiny imperfections in surfaces, giving a spider incredible grip.
However, very smooth surfaces defeat these organs- so as Spiderman slings his way across
town he'd better make sure and not land on a plate glass window or it'll be a long fall
to the street below.
Spiderman famously has use of his spider sense, which alerts him to danger via a warning signal
in his brain that triggers as pain and varies with the intensity of the threat.
Spiders have a similar 'spidey sense', though theirs comes from their many eyes which gives
them an incredible field of view.
To supplement their visual organs, spider's bodies are also covered in tiny hairs which
are highly sensitive and perceive the smallest vibrations coming through the air or surface
they are standing on.
These hairs allow a spider to react to danger or prey lightning fast.
Spiderman's webs started off as wrist-mounted devices that fired off artificial webbing,
but in later iterations they became biological adaptations that allow him to do this without
the help of a special gadget.
As real-life spiders keep all the silk protein for web-spinning in their enlarged posterior,
we're not even going to hazard a guess as to where on his body Spiderman stores his
silk protein.
A spider's web is incredibly strong though, with a tensile strength 5 times greater than
steel, and yet is incredibly lightweight- a single strand that encircled the globe would
weigh only 1 pound 2 ounces.
So Spiderman is approximately 50 times stronger than the average human, can detect impending
danger near his location, stick to most surfaces, and shoot webs 5 times stronger than steel-
should be an easy fight, right?
Unlike most superheroes, Spiderman has no obvious weaknesses (except dead uncle issues),
meaning there is no Superman-kryptonite-like weakness to directly exploit.
However, also unlike most superheroes Spiderman is not physically invulnerable to everyday
weapons.
He can take a hell of a beating, but he is not impervious to gunshots, stab wounds, or
a concussion from a club to the back of the head.
His healing factor works on an order of days, not seconds or minutes, so even though he
is super-agile, super-strong, and can shoot super-strong webs, he's not completely invulnerable.
First off, you're going to want to be the one on the initiative versus Spiderman- make
sure that you decide the battleground and not him.
The most important thing to neutralize will be Spiderman's maneuverability, so lure him
to a location where he won't be able to physically stick to many walls.
A big open field would work, though if you have access to Lex-Luthor-level wealth, then
simply build a custom battlefield made of smooth glass.
Magnetic boots and magnetic inserts beneath the glass would let you move around freely,
while denying Spiderman the ability to jump around and avoid your attacks.
Secondly, we can't stress this enough- forget hand-to-hand combat.
He's 50 times stronger than the average human, Spiderman could rip your arms off and beat
you to death with them.
Long-time nemesis Dr. Octopus may have super-strong titanium mechanical arms, but one serious
punch from Spiderman would obliterate his skull- instead, it's apparently better to
let Octopus run around endangering the entire city.
Let's say in this deathmatch though, neither of you are holding back, so don't get into
punching range.
There's several good options for you at this point- you've lured Spiderman to your custom
killing field, Mary Jane seems to always make for good bait so we recommend that.
Next, you have to keep out of range, meaning you're going to have seconds to kill Spiderman
before you're toast, he may not be able to web sling his way across a huge empty field
or your custom-made glass bowl, but he can still jump 300 feet per bound.
You're going to need something that can neutralize a fast-moving target with the ability to do
acrobatic evasive maneuvers... you're going to need the US Navy's Phalanx Close In Weapons
System.
Designed to defend navy ships from anti ship missiles, helicopters, drones, and other fast-moving
targets, a Phalanx unit consists of a 20mm Vulcan cannon paired with Ku-band radar system
for tracking targets.
It also packs a forward-looking infrared sensor for detecting low-observable anti ship missiles
via their heat generation, and a fully automated targeting, tracking, and firing computer that
leaves humans out of the loop and can react in milliseconds.
Designed to destroy incoming sub and supersonic missiles, a Phalanx CIWS (pronounced see-whiz)
is more than capable of tracking and shredding Spiderman into Spider-paste with a firing
rate of 3,000 rounds a minute, or 50 every second!
But in all honesty- that's overkill.
As Spiderman has proven repeatedly, he's a good guy, and that might be his greatest vulnerability.
Listen, this is a match to the death so we're going to leave morality out of this one, but
if you really want to defeat Spiderman, just use human bait.
Kidnap Mary Jane again, tie her up and gag her in the middle of your chosen killing field
(again, somewhere nice, big and open), and invite Spiderman to come rescue her.
Under Mary Jane's clothing however you will have secured and pre-armed a M60 claymore
mine, obviously facing outwards.
We've talked about the Claymore before on this series, but probably because in all honesty-
it's just the best at killing pretty much anything.
Spiderman will sense danger, but he's expecting a match to the death, odds are not very high
he's going to be expecting you're so cold-blooded that you're going to suicide bomb his longest-running
love interest just to eliminate him.
But you are, because this is a match to the death.
Listen, you may not win with the ability to claim the moral high ground here, but then
again you're facing a man-spider that can punch your face off.
For the more morally scrupulous amongst you though, just stick with the Phalanx.
How would you defeat Spiderman?
What other superhero you wanna see us take on?
Let us know in the comments.
Also, be sure to check out our other video You vs Jason - Could You Defeat Him.
Thanks for watching, and as always, please like, share and subscribe.
See you next time.