- My thumbs have been like cramping
- Oh my God. - because I've been
scrolling so much.
- Seriously. - Oh my God, true story.
- Oh my God, dude, he's been throwing moves at you all day.
(bouncy music)
(gasping)
- Do you think he's interested?
Oh my God. - Oh my God.
- I don't know. - I don't know.
(gasping)
- Oh (beep)!
He just dice rolled at you.
That means he wants it bad.
- Oh my God, okay, I should flirt back. All right.
(gasps)
Oh God.
- Oh my God.
(pounding noise)
(gasping) (laughing)
- Oh wow, you two are basically in a relationship now!
- We should make it official. - Uh huh!
Yes!
Oh, I love it. Ugh!
(smooth music)
(rap music)
(turn table squelching)
(clapping)
(rap music)
(cheering)
- I made this up! I made this dance up,
this is my dance.
(laughing hysterically)
- I'm Jimmy Fallon and that dance you made up
was so sick. How about you come on the Tonight Show
with me, Jimmy Fallon, and show everybody your
sick move that you made up?
- I made it up!
(laughing)
- (beep) this! (beep)
- Dad, I'd like to introduce you to my girlfriend.
- Hello!
- Son, that's just you in sunglasses
and a towel for hair.
What would your mother say about all this?
- She's better than looking than you, (beep).
- Well then why don't you marry her?
- Because she's my son!
(ominous music) (gasping in shock)
- How many shots would it take for me
to hook up with each of my guy friends?
- Uh, I don't know. How many?
(laughs nervously) - Let's find out!
One!
(glass clinks on table) (gasps)
Guess just one!
I'm always down to (beep) my boys!
- Awwwww. - Awwwww.
- Yay!
(laughing)
(bright, jingly music)
- [Singer] SMOSH!
(happy, bouncy music)
- Oh my God, I love your top!
- Oh, thanks so much! I got it from Urban Outfitters.
- Where'd you get the shirt?
- Oh, uh, I got it from Urban Outfitters. Size small.
- Don't be shy, sis. Tell us the size!
- Please tell us where you got the shirt!
- I did. It was Urban Outfitters. It is a small.
I already said all these things.
- So rude of you not to tell us
where you got the shirt from.
- Unfollowing! - Unfollowing!
- No, no, no, no, no, please! No!
I can't loose more followers. No!
(techno music)
- Hey. - Whoa!
- You've been scrolling on your phone for way too long.
Why not take a break and drink some water?
- Yo, don't tell me what to do.
I don't even listen to my doctor.
You think I'm gonna listen to some stranger who just
appeared at my desk?
Sorry. I'm sorry. - Yeah, yeah.
(beep) outta here with all that "drink some water,"
(beep)(beep).
- Sorry, sorry.
- Skedaddle!
Sk-, sk-, sk-, skedaddle!
Made me drop my phone. (beep)
- Lemme help you with that phone.
- Please, just get away from me!
(bouncy guitar music)
(sighing) (laughing)
- Hmmm, crazy how the universe keeps showing me
wholesome queer couples when I'm not even queer.
(gasps)
Oh! I am queer!
(angelic chimes)
(chuckling)
- Mmm-mmm. Nope.
- Why are you watching me?
- Oh, I'm just reacting. Uh, pretend I'm not here.
Just keep doing your thing.
Oh my God, that cheese is expired. That is not the bread
I would have used.
(chuckling)
Oh, no.
- Can you not talk (beep) about my sandwich
right in front of me? I'll kick your (beep).
(guffaws)
- Okay. Sorry.
No pickles. Stupid technique.
Bad outfit. That's going to be a 3 out of 10.
(punch lands) Oh!
Okay!
Solid punch. 8 out of 10.
(punch lands)
Okay.
16 out of 10.
Ow!
This hurts.
Not as much as it's going to hurt to eat that sandwich.
It sucks. (woman exclaiming)
- Ah! No, no, no!
(jaunty music)
(beep)
- 5, 6, 7, 8.
Oh! - Sorry! I (beep) up!
I didn't where to go. I froze!
(laughing)
- I did, too. Okay.
- You didn't hear me beside you? I think you have
(beep) (indistinct)
(beep)
(gasp)
(laughing)
- [Off-Screen Tech] One more for the camera.
- Okay, yup. - [Off-Screen] I'm sorry.
(beep)
- How many shots would it take
for me to (beep) each of my guy friends?
Let's - sorry.
(laughs)
- [Off-Screen Tech] That's, you're okay.
- I said (beep) instead of hook up.
(beep)
(silly music)
- [Friend 1] Oh my God.
Whoa.
Oh, (beep) that basically got you pregnant.
(laughing)
- I just wanna mess with you.
(beep)
- (beep) I can't dance.
I'll never find a man.
(laughing)
(clapping)
(beep)
(laughing hysterically)
- [Dancer] Why do you smell like whiskey?
- Ow, (beep).
- [Off-Screen Tech] All right, back to one.
(laughing)
(beep)
(laughing)
- Oh, yeah.
- Who keeps throwing these? - I need the roses.
- Where are these coming from? Where'd you get-
- Yeah, voracious.
(beep)
(laughing)
(growling)
- Wow!
- Is this what sex is?
- Yeah!
(honking noise)
(beep)
(grunting)
(laughing)
(beep)
- Ugh. These white people driving me crazy.
(phone button clicking)
(laughing)
- You're - - Sorry.
(beep)
- Yeah!
Yeah!
(beep)
(gasping)
(laughing)
(beep)
- Solid punch. 8 out of 10.
(punch landing) Oh, God!
(fake crying) (laughing)
Okay, it's 16 out of 10.
But your sandwich still sucks (beep)!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
(beep)
- Unfollowing! - Unfollowing!
- What do-
(gasping)
(laughing)
- Okay, I just - - I just love you guys.
(beep)
(loud choking)
- Just take it!
- Get away from me!
(laughing)