…Gene R Rodgers. You know, in order to get enough outdoor recreation, I need a really
good chair. So I wrote this letter to wheelchair makers. Let’s read it back and see how it
sounds. Dear Wheelchair maker, please build me a new wheelchair. It must be small enough
so that when I take the rear wheels off, the chair will fit on your standard elephant.
Or, with the rear wheels off, I can sit on the bow of a riverboat to explore the Costa
Rican jungles., or fit in this elevator in Italy, or get carried down steps into a long-tail
boat in Thailand to explore the floating market. When I’m scuba diving, I leave my chair
in the boat. Sometimes I just ride back on the flying bridge of the boat. I relax on
the beach afterward. Therefore, the chair must be resistant to saltwater sea spray.
The chair must be resistant to extreme temperatures and high altitude so I can take it with me
when I go skiing in the Rockies, trekking at Machu Picchu in the Peruvian Andes, or
camping in the Himalayas with my Sherpa friends. It has to be easily disassembled so I can
put it in a doko on the back of a Sherpa. Sometimes my chair and I get carried separately
so I want to spot it easily. I’m thinking painting it Hummer yellow will help. The chair
must be easy to take up or down steps. It must be easy to portage…..wherever I go.
The chair must reflect my personality – it should be rugged yet handsome. Oh, it has
to be cool enough I can still have fun with the ladies. Please put an anti-theft device
on my chair so no one takes it when I get out of it to go sky diving, paragliding, parasailing,
sail planning, or bungee jumping. The chair should have shock absorbers on it so I can
have a comfortable ride, whether I’m stacked with luggage or riding in the back of a pick
up truck. Oh, and make it impervious to the desert sands. Sometimes I just don’t know
what to expect when I go traveling so make it small and light enough to fit on this three
wheeler in the Philippines, on this stair machine in Japan, in this safari truck in
South Africa, and on this foot bridge in Costa Rica. When I sail on the tall-ship, Tenacious,
I like to sit on bowsprit. I also like to take my turn at the helm but definitely don’t
want to flip backward when we hit the big waves, so I use these sea-legs my brother
and I invented, to keep upright. Occasionally I’ll go up to the crow’s nest to get a
better view, so I want a chair that’s easy to haul. That goes double when I’m lifted
out of one of these zodiacs. It would be both embarrassing and dangerous if my chair fell
apart and I was dropped into the ocean.The chair must be strong enough it will not fall
apart when I check out the cliffs in Socorro, New Mexico, or when I go bridge swinging in
South Africa. Sometimes I just like to hang around.Did I mention it has to be cool enough
I can still have fun with the ladies? Last but not least, it must be low enough I can
win the next limbo contest. Sincerely, Gene R Rodgers. Yeah, that letter should do the
trick.