hey guys hey guys and sorry if my voice
is kind of gross right now I'm still
sick today I was planning on filming a
Q&A which I'm still planning on filming
so thank you all for sending in your
questions on my Instagram but this
morning while I was laying in bed I was
scrolling through my youtube
subscriptions as one does a productive
morning activity and I inevitably
started watching one of those like how
to stay fit and motivated in 2018 videos
and it reminded me that since the new
year is coming up or already has passed
depending on when I post this video that
social media is about to just like
explode with all of these like
Fitness messages some of which are
really motivating if this is all for you
in 2018 then good for you but I feel
like especially in the age of social
media and like Instagram models our
Fitness culture can get a little bit
obsessive and kind of doesn't make you
feel bad about yourself as someone who
last years struggled with a lot of body
image issues and a lot of just a bad
relationship with food and fitness in
general and as someone who has seen
eating disorders affect some people who
are really close to me I thought I would
be remiss if I didn't make a video kind
of addressing how to keep like a healthy
mindset amidst all of this Fitness
culture I don't have a title for this
video yet but hopefully it's not like
super clique baby that's not my intent
at all I just wanted to sit down and
chat with you guys I feel like there are
a lot of things that you can say about
like keeping a healthy mindset and
staying confident that make a lot of
sense when you say them out loud but are
really hard to internalize as like the
person who is watching this video or
like me last year so I thought I would
just kind of talk about my personal
journey so throughout my entire life and
including all of high school I think I
had like a really healthy attitude
towards food thanks to my momma for that
and I had like the most badass kid
metabolism ever so I would eat just like
whatever the hell I wanted a ton of
candy and I like my body for the way it
was I was always just like naturally a
pretty skinny kid I never really thought
about it especially growing up in the
suburban Maryland like there's not a
huge like health and fitness craze
anyway nobody really talks about like
working out or dieting and stuff like
that so yeah it was like a really great
way to grow up
but Inter freshman year college and a
lot of that change first of all my
metabolism just like hit a brick
wall and my lady metabolism kicked in
which is much much slower
second of all at UCLA has bomb-ass
dining whole food and I definitely
gained at the freshman 15 and third of
all I was now living in LA surrounded by
like the offspring of actresses and
models who are all beautiful and super
like fitness oriented I know like the
most basic body image advice is not to
compare yourself to others and I heard
that at so many times but I didn't
listen to it but for real I feel
like you can throw around this advice
like all you want but it's actually
pretty hard to internalize so you've
been through the whole hole in back
so yeah I was a lot heavier than I had
been for my entire life
and I really beat myself up for it I
think in combination with the fact that
I was kind of artistically unfulfilled I
didn't like my classes I didn't have any
close friends yet I was living 3,000
miles away from home I think just the
fact that I was unhappy in general all
just piled on and manifested itself even
more into me just hating my body and I
started working out for the first time
which a lot of people are like home good
for you like you finally went to the gym
but in my opinion it was actually
something really unhealthy because it
came from a really bad mindset basically
I was just like punishing myself for
eating too much I would watch the
calorie count on how many calories I
burned on the treadmill and you know
compare that how much I had ate and
basically between eating a lot and
planning all of my meals and working out
like thinking about my body so much was
just taking over my life and it wasn't
making me happy it was just like the
most massive waste of time and my own
energy and I like human being I have so
much more to offer to the world then at
just how my body looks ultimately in
terms of fitness really the best thing
for me was just to be happy and to keep
busy like now doing my youtube channel
making videos for you guys every week
this keeps me really busy and
entertained and happy and feeling like
I'm doing
they hopefully kind of useful in
combination with just having like closer
friends and really liking my classes
this year and stuff yeah I don't really
think about like food or fitness very
often I just eat whenever I'm hungry and
stuff I know I'm super lucky to say that
because of genetics basically if I just
don't think about it too much my body
will do this thing sorry this has been
kind of rambley but I hope if there's
any takeaway from this it's that you're
self worth it should never be determined
by how your body looks I know that
sounds obvious but social media and like
fitness messages can really with
you and I think there's a fine line
between saying that working out and
eating healthy can make you happier
versus saying that you can only be happy
if you eat healthy and work out so yeah
if you are embarking on a fitness
journey best of luck but keep your
mindset healthy if you ever start to
feel like food or fitness or your body
image is really taking over your life
I'm gonna link an eating disorder
hotline or chat room or something down
there and also I know a lot of you guys
are on college campuses right now a lot
of those have free counseling services
so please don't feel afraid to go to one
of those I never did even though I
definitely could have benefited from it
last year yeah it doesn't mean that
you're like insane or anything but just
it's a strong thing to seek out somebody
to talk to so with that that is all the
rambling I have for you guys today thank
you so much for watching I have a lot of
exciting new videos planned for the new
year so thank you so much for sticking
around and I'll see you guys next time
[Music]