[MUSIC PLAYING]
I am going to therapy to try to find
some balance in my life.
I am emotionally burned out because I'm
everybody's go-to person.
I'm everybody's solution to their problem.
It's time for me to choose me and put Marie first.
I'd like to get to know who I'm
working with because the reason that you came in is not you.
So teach me about Marie.
Well, my name is Marie Hamilton Apston.
I am divorced.
I go by Marie Monroe.
I was born and raised in Jackson, Mississippi.
I grew up in a loving household.
They, my parents, displayed love and affection
towards one another.
Very functional.
It was a functional household.
But at some point, I learned that my mom
was using marijuana.
And her marijuana addiction led to a higher
addiction of marijuana laced with cocaine.
OK Take your time.
I recall getting up to get dressed for school.
My mom wasn't there to comb my hair.
It was my father.
And I recall asking him, where's Mom?
And at first, it started out, well, she worked late.
And she went by her mom's.
And she decided to just stay there.
And it went on so long until my father,
he couldn't lie to us anymore because, by that time,
her appearance began to change.
Her frame, it was extremely frail and small.
And I knew then something was wrong.
And I never forget one night, it was
about 1:00 AM in the morning.
And my mom showed up.
I was begging her, crying, pulling on her, please,
don't leave.
And she left us there.
Witnessing me cry and beg my mom to not leave my father,
it shattered his heart into many pieces.
And even after my dad remarried, he was
still trying to save my mom.
My father couldn't teach me how to be a lady
and how to be a woman.
And my grandmother taught me what to do, how to do.
And then at nine, 10 years old, having to deal with the drug
dealers threatening her life, riding around with her
in their trunk, beating her up, breaking her arm,
blacking her eye, busting her head wide open.
For a child to see their mom hurt in that way.
And when I got in middle school, I
focused on doing my schoolwork.
And for some reason, I was bullied.
I would be sitting in a classroom
and the children would just throw little spitballs at me
and just start laughing when I turn around.
I was already dealing with my home life.
And going to school was my outlet.
And to go to school to be bullied,
I had zero tolerance for anybody picking on me.
These kids think they're going to hurt me, no.
And so my dad used to always tell me,
if somebody approach you like they're going to hit you,
you don't give them a chance to hit you first and hurt you.
So that kind of stuck in my mind, you know?
But it was when I had my first child, my mindset, it changed.
At that point, I'm like, you know what, I have
a child I have to be here for.
I have to lead by example.
And my goal is to be the best mother to him
that my mom wasn't to me.
I have lupus.
So that's been a challenge.
So I'm battling a lot.
I feel like I value friendships.
And when someone crosses me, I don't handle that well.
So that's why I don't let people get close to me.
When you were nine years old and your mom who was supposed
to be one of those protectors for you wasn't there,
do you see that perhaps you're wanting to control everything
because, let's go back to your childhood,
you're crying for your mom, asking her to come back home.
You didn't control anything.
MARIE: No.
I am a fighter.
I want to be successful just as bad as I want to breathe.
And I know that my success comes from that mustard seed
of faith that kept me going.
And I believe that's God's way of saying, you know what,
Marie, when you could have given up, you still had that mustard
seed of faith and you didn't.
So this is what I'm going to do for you.
This is what I'm going to do for your life.
This is the reward that I'm going
to give you for not giving up, for having faith,
and for keep fighting.
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