alrights people step back and let me
preach some more Godzilla on ya last
time I showed y'all Charles Barkley
taking him on in a gargantuan game of
hoops but don't think for a second that
that's the only time Zilla has thrown
down in a comic book our favorite
radioactive reptile brawled with pretty
much every major Marvel hero you can
think of I'm Jocelyn the intern I do all
the research nobody else wants to
straight from the desk of death battle
so get this back in the day Marvel
licensed Godzilla from its Japanese
owner Toho but they didn't want to also
pay for the license of all the other
giant monsters in the franchise this act
of forgot a spurred a twenty four issue
story of Godzilla walking through the
Marvel world and effing up as he
strolls from one side of America to the
other basically the story goes like this
issue one G Zilla busts out an iceberg
near Alaska why yeah because icebergs
are a natural enemy of large things fact
check with Titanic
anyway the giant lizard swims his green
ass to America and shield is like oh
lizard y'all and sends out a
special team of normal humans complete
with a robert e lee style commander who
just yells at people over the span of
the series their mission to somehow stop
Godzilla from causing any damage then
let me just tell you right now they do
not succeed
Godzilla fights a ton of stuff from mr.
fantastic to batch argon which is some
giant bat dragon sangat oh no despite
some of those fights being cool I'm
gonna stick to the more memorable brawls
so that this episode isn't an hour-long
first up is issue number three where our
lizard friend has made his way to San
Francisco home of the champions a band
of superheroes consisting of Black Widow
hercules angel
Iceman now you would think a couple of
x-men and a God would be able to stop
Godzilla but you'd be wrong very very
wrong the champions don't just simply
fail in stopping Godzilla they make it
worse
mainly because Herc throws a giant hunk
of the Golden Gate Bridge at Godzilla
and miss isn't such a fantastically poor
way that he wrecks a Helicarrier
now that easily puts thousands of lives
in danger and destroys what I can only
assume is billions of dollars worth of
military equipment issues later shield
asks Hank Pym to shrink Godzilla and it
works and then tiny Godzilla escaped
shortly after his escape Godzilla winds
up fighting the Fantastic Four still
under the effect of the Pym particles
but now the size of your common Rock
Monster the thing shows off his lack of
brains which is especially highlighted
when he refers to Godzilla as a Japanese
dinosaur looks not true the thing
although he may be a Japanese character
Godzilla was not born in Japan and he is
more accurately described as a Pacific
monster you know if you want to be
snooty about it anyway they finally
subdue the not so giant lizard after the
thing gives Zilla a where's my money
shark bitch-slap but here's the problem
what do you do with an unconscious kaiju
now I mean they could probably construct
some sort of prison launch him into
space or maybe just put him back in the
ocean haha nope I you not they fire
up dr. Doom's time machine and send
Godzilla back to prehistoric times
because he's close enough to a dinosaur
right
Godzilla then spends the rest of the
issue dominating dinos left and right
like it's his first day on the prison
yard until eventually he fights off a
bunch of Neanderthals and befriends this
monkey kid much to Earth's Shadrin
Godzilla's natural radioactivity had
made dr. Doom's
time machine a little unstable worried
it would explode they began transporting
it to a safe place which required them
to take it right through the center
of the most populated city in America
and guess what
BAM Time Machine goes off but instead of
leveling New York it miraculously rips
Godzilla back to the present that is
normal size
how's that for writing zillah's timely
entrance to the Big Apple interrupts the
Avengers playing Monopoly fact and they
proceeded to team up with the Fantastic
Four to stop the king of monsters once
and for all they fight and fight and
fight and fight and fight and at one
point Thorin Godzilla play reverse tug
of war with the Empire State Building
until eventually everyone says it
and tries an all-out blitz which does
nothing you're probably asking yourself
can nothing stop Godzilla I mean we've
had scientists dinosaurs superheroes
even gods
what identic force of nature can
possibly end as a reptilian rampage a
Japanese boy named Rob who politely asks
Godzilla to leave see you catch more
flies with sugar speaking of which I'm
out of time but let's see if we can get
this video up to 15,000 likes pretty
please
you