Hey, Live On Purpose Parents. Thank you for your comments and suggestions. Some
of you are wondering how to help a toddler adjust to a new baby. Anytime we
change something about the family constellation, it throws everybody into
an adjustment period. This is true for you as a parent, it's also true for your
toddler and for your kids. When a new baby shows up, there's a lot of different
things that are going to happen. Especially if you have a toddler who is
an only child up until that baby arrives. They don't
have any experience with what it's like to be an older brother or sister. Which
helps us to know how we can help them adjust. They need to be taught. Don't
assume that they know how to do this. They don't. They have no experience that
helps them to figure this thing out. They're going to need you as a parent to
coach them. This is probably new for you too. So, if you need a little coaching, get
together with some other parents who have gone through this before. Pick their
brains a little bit. Spend a little time here on the channel with related videos.
Get a coach. Someone who can talk to you. Let's not assume that the toddler or
even us as parents know how to handle this.
There's some simple things that we can do several of which I'll share with you
on this video. But that's the first point. Teach them what they need to do. Don't
assume that they already have the knowledge. I'll give you 2 specific
things that you can do as we wrap up this video today. Before we get to that,
find time to interact with and spend time with your toddler. Individually,
one-on-one. This is important as the baby is coming and it's also really important
once the baby gets here. You might be thinking, "Well, it's really hot
with a new baby to find time to spend with my toddler." Yeah, I know. I'm not
saying it's easy. I'm saying this is an important thing that you can do to
assist your toddler. They don't stop needing you just because the baby
arrived. I know you know this. Sometimes it takes a little bit of intentional
effort to actually make it happen. This will go a long way for you in
helping that toddler to adjust to the new baby. Find time to spend with them
individually. Here's another tip that is amazingly simple and very powerful. Talk
to them. Talk to them. Sometimes we don't include our toddlers in the conversation.
Maybe they don't have all of the language skills yet to process what's
going on. They're going to pick up more than you think. Talk to them about what's
happening. Have discussions about how the family dynamics will be changing as this
new baby arrives. Include them in the family discussions. We've gathered a lot
of information in the field of psychology to suggest that toddlers
adjustment is supported well by including them in these conversations.
Even if they don't understand what you're talking about.
They'll understand enough that they'll start to wrap their little heads around
what's going to happen. The important thing is that we involve them in that.
That we make them be a part of it. And then they feel more included. You're
going to have fewer behavioral problems that way. And also, the adjustment will be
much easier for your toddler. Now, let's expand on that a little bit with those
2 tips that I said I would share with you. Specific things that you can do to
assist your toddler in adjusting to a new baby.
The first one is involve them in the preparations. This is all of the stuff
that has to happen before the baby actually arrives. You have to prepare a
space for that baby. Allow your
toddler to help you prepare the space. Now, I know they can't do a lot. They don't
have a high skill set in terms of putting together a nursery or gathering
the items that are necessary to be ready for that baby when the baby comes home.
If they're involved in the preparations, they will feel a sense of ownership and
be able to more quickly adjust to that baby when the baby comes.
Anticipation is a huge factor for all of us really in our happiness. When you
anticipate that something is going to happen, that's a good thing, how do you
feel? Your kids are going to feel that way too.
So, as you involve the toddler in the preparations, they get to feel some
anticipation and some eagerness which will fuel their desire to do the things
that are actually going to be more healthy and adaptive once that baby gets
here. Let's talk about when the baby gets here. The toddler needs to be involved
then too. Find little ways that you can involve that toddler in helping with the
new baby. Again, there's not a lot that they can do but there are certain things
that they can do. Helping you to get the diaper for example. Even a young child
who is just barely learning to crawl can help to hand you a diaper from a stack
or from a package. That makes them feel important. And they get to be a part of
the process. When they're involved this way, they start to learn by your modeling
and example that babies are a good thing to have around. That they require certain
kinds of care and that is we take really good care of the baby. The baby thrives
and is happier. I like to help toddlers know also that they were there once.
That if we take really good care of this baby,
this baby's going to grow up to be a great
little kid like you. And that seems to really give them a sense of, "Oh, this is
an important thing that we get to do together." Really the bottom line is I've
shared these strategies with you is to involve your toddler. Remember, toddlers
are people too. They're just little people. So, we talked to them on their
level, we get on their level. We share things with them in a way that they can
understand and wrap their heads around. Talking to them, involving them in the
preparations. Helping them to anticipate this great thing that's going to happen.
And once this baby arrives, allowing them to assist in the care of that baby. All
of these things will help your toddler adjust even better to that new baby
coming on board. If you're enjoying this parenting content, I think you're really
going to enjoy the Parenting Power-Up. You can find that in the links below. And
it's something that you can share. When you go there. you're going to find some
free resources as well as some really great course content to support you as a
parent. I hope you'll share that as well.