GUESS WHO IS BACK, IAN KARMEL IS BACK ON THE SHOW,
THERE HE IS.
WE ARE SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU.
>> BRAVO.
>> YOU KNOW, STORMED THE CAPITOL, LEARNED SOME LESSONS.
(LAUGHTER).
>> James: YOU JUST GOT SWEPT UP IN IT.
>> IT WAS JUST SO FUN.
IT WAS GOOD TO BE AROUND PEOPLE AGAIN.
>> James: NOW WE ALL JUST HAD A LITTLE BREAK.
GUILLERMO, THE DRUMMER IN THE BAND, SEEMS TO BE TAKING AN
EXTENDED BREAK-- LAF (LAUGHTER)
>> DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE GUILLERMO IS, DOES ANYBODY NO?
OH, COME ON.
>> WHAT HAPPENED, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, G, WE STARTED.
THE SHOW STARTED.
WHERE YOU BEEN?
(LAUGHTER) >> SORRY, I WAS TAKING A [BLEEP]
(LAUGHTER).
>> James: WELL, THANK YOU FOR JOINING US GUILLERMO.
>> ABSOLUTELY, PLEASURE TO BE HERE.
>> James: WE'RE SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE.
WHAT DID YOU GET UP TO IN THE BREAK, GUILLERMO?
>> ACTUALLY, ROB AND I BUILT A LITTLE DESK.
HE CAME OVER AND HELPED ME.
HE BRAWT HIS SA SWRKS ZAL AND BUILT A DESK TOGETHER.
>> James: HANG ON, WHAT?
THAT IS MORE EXCITING THAN ANYTHING HAVE I DONE IN THE LAST
12 MONTH.
ROB.
>> YO.
>> James: I DIDN'T KNOW WERE YOU OPEN FOR BUSINESS, WHAT WAS
T YOU BUILD IT FROM SCRATCH OR PUT IT TOGETHER FROM LIKE IKEA.
>> NO, GUILLERMO HAD AN OLD HEADBOARD.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> AND WE REPURPOSED IT AND MADE IT SHALL-- .
>> James: OKAY, SORRY, SORRY.
>> HERE WE GO.
>> James: OKAY, SORRY, I NOW-- WHAT YOU WANT TO DO IS
WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.
>> I FORGOT FOR A MINUTE THAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT GUILLERMO'S
HOUSE, AND I DIDN'T KNOW THAT PUTTING UP A DESK WAS CODE FOR
WHATEVER IT IS YOU GUYS DO, I'M FINE WITH IT.
>> HARD TEAK WOOD, IT WAS VERY HARD TEAK WOOD.
>> James: OKAY, OKAY, VERY HARD, TEAK HEADBOARD AND YOU
GUYS AND YOUR WIVES PUT IT TOGETHER, AND WHY NOT, IT'S A
BREAK.
WE ARE ON HIATUS.
DO WHAT YOU HAVE GOT TO DO.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, REG, WHAT DID YOU GET UP TO?
>> Reggie: I WENT TO NEW YORK.
>> James: OH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU DID.
YOU WERE-- HOW WAS IT?
>> IT KIND OF FELT LIKE RETRO NEW YORK BECAUSE THERE IS JUST
WAY LOWER ENERGY ON THE STREET.
>> James: I ENJOY, I LIKE THAT LITTLE CHANGE, IT WAS NICE.
> YEAH, YEAH.
>> James: A TASTE OF NEW YORK MISSES YOU, AND SENT ME A PHOTO
OF HIS WORM AND I THOUGHT YOU KNOW WHAT, I [BLEEP] LOVE THAT
GUY.
THAT IS WHAT I THOUGHT THAT IS HOW I FELT.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, WHAT WENT DOWN?
>> I GOT INTO BICYCLE RIDING OVER THE BREAK.
>> James: DID YOU.
>> YEAH.
>> James: RIGHT.
>> I GOT THE SHORTS.
I GOT A BIKE, I GOT A HELMET, I GOT EVERYTHING.
>> James: HOW FAR ARE WE GOING ON THIS BIKE.
>> I WENT 20 MILES ON SATURDAY.
(APPLAUSE).
>> James: BE HONEST NOW, AT WHAT POINT DURING THAT RIDE DID
YOU THINK WILL THIS FIT IN AN UBER?
>> BEFORE I DID THE 20 MILES I THOUGHT I WILL START BIKING THE
WORK.
AND SIX MILE NAS T I'M SWEATING, MY HAIR IS MATTED ON MY FACE AND
I'M LIKE NO, I CAN'T-- THIS IS-- THIS HAS TO HAPPEN BETWEEN
SHOWERS.
>> James: YES.
YOU CAN USE MY SHOWER.
I HAVE A SHOWER, YOU CAN USE MY SHOWER.
>> ALL RIGHT, I WILL START BIKING TO WORK.
>> James: YOU CAN SHOWER IN THERE.
>> YOU I CAN SHOWER IN YOUR SHOWER.
>> James: YOU KNOW IF THAT SHOWER COULD TALK, GAGA HAS BEEN
IN THAT SHOWER, STYLES HAS BEEN IN THAT SHOWER, BIEBER HAS BEEN
IN THAT SHOWER.
REG, YOU HAVE BEEN IN THAT SHOWER.
>> I THINK I HAVE.
>> James: YOU HAVE BEEN IN THE SHOWER.
>> YEAH.
>> James: THERE WAS ONE MORE.
>> GOLDBLUM.
>> James: SHAT DID NOT.
>> TED CRUZ?
(LAUGHTER).
>> James: TED CRUZ SHOWERS IN THERE, HE DID, HE DIDN'T WANT TO
BUT HIS KIDS NEEDED TO WASH.
LOOK AT US, GUYS, LOOK AT THAT, WE TURNED AROUND A SIMPLE, A
SIMPLE DISCUSSION ABOUT BIKING, WHAT DID WE DO?
BANG WITH THE POLITICS.
OOOH.
>> WE'LL TAKE THEM ALL DOWN, WE'LL TAKE THEM ALL DOWN, YEAH.
WANT TO LOOK AT THE HEADLINES, WANT TO LOOK AT THE HEADLINES,
WANT TO BLOOK AT THE HEADLINES? LOOK AT THE HEADLINES? LET'S DO
IT.
ALL RIGHT, HERE IS THE HEADLINES, THERE SAY BIG UPDATE
IN DONALD TRUMP'S NEVER-ENDING QUEST TO KEEP HIS TAXES HIDDEN.
EARLIER TODAY THE SUPREME COURT SAID THAT TRUMP'S ACCOUNTANTS
MUST TURN OVER HIS FINANCIAL RECORDS TO PROSECUTORS.
THIS IS IT, GUYS, I THINK THIS IS WHAT IS FINALLY GOING TO TAKE
DOWN HIS PRESIDENCY.
>> OBVIOUSLY THIS IS HUGE NEWS, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
WE'RE ONE STEP CLOSER TO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENING.
I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH TRUMP, I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE
TALKING ABOUT IT, WEREN'T WE?
HERE HE IS SNEAKING BACK INTO THE SHOW LOOK AN EX WHO PRETENDS
HE LEFT THEIR PHONE CHARGER AT THE HOUSE.
OH, I DIDN'T LEAVE IT HERE, IT MUST HAVE BEEN SOMEWHERE ELSE,
ANYWAY, HOW YOU BEEN?
IN OTHER NEWS DESPITE COVID CASES DROPPING NATIONWIDE
DR. FAUCI IS NOW SAYING THAT AMERICANS MAY NEED TO CONTINUE
WEARING MASKS INTO 2022.
YEAH, THAT SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM.
I IMAGINE THE WHOLE OF AMERICA WILL JUST ABIDE BY THAT, NO
PROBLEM.
I HAVE THINK THIS IS GOOD NEWSES, GOOD NEWS FOR ANY OF US
WHO REALLY LET THE BOTTOM HALF OF OUR FACE GO.
LIKE I'M HAPPY WITH THE TOP HALF OF MY FACE.
THE TOP HALF, THAT'S THE ONLY PART OF MY BODY I DON'T I NEED
TO LOSE WEIGHT ON.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> Reggie: YEAH.
>> James: IF I LOOK AT MY, LIKE WHEN I DRIVE IN AND I SEE
THAT BILLBOARD WHICH IS HERE, I THINK THERE'S A BILLBOARD
OUTSIDE THE BUILDING, YOU SEE IT IN THE OPENING CREDITS.
I THINK YEAH, I LOOK ALL RIGHT.
AND I REALIZE-- .
>> I HAVE NEVER MET ANYONE WITH A FAT FOREHEAD, HAVE YOU.
>> HE IS A GOOD GUY BUT HE NEEDS TO SHIFT.
>> IN THE CIRCLE I TRAVEL IN, IF THERE WAS SOMEONE WITH A FAT
FOREHEAD I WOULD HAVE MET HIM.
>> I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT BUT DR. FAUCI SAID PEOPLE MAY NEED
TO WEAR MASKS EVEN IF THE UNITED STATES MAY REACH A QUOTE
SIGNIFICANTLY-- SIGNIFICANT DEGREE OF NORMALITY BY THE END
OF THE YEAR.
THAT COULD HAVE BEEN A NEW PICKUP LINE, I RECKON.
YOU WANT TO COME BACK TO MY PLACE FOR A SIGNIFICANT DEGREE
OF NORMALITY?
>> AND ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY DID YOU SEE THIS, PEOPLE WHO
WEAR GLASSES ARE THREE TIMES LESS LIKELY TO BE INFECTED BY
COVID IN PART BECAUSE THEY RUB THEIR EYES LESS FREQUENTLY.
SO CONGRATS, DAVE.
WELL DONE.
(APPLAUSE) I THINK THIS IS-- I CONSIDER
THIS AN ABSOLUTE BREAKTHROUGH FOR PEOPLE WEARING GLASSES
BECAUSE FOR THE PAST 12 MONTH THEY'VE HAD TO PUT UP WITH THE
FOGGING.
AND NOW YOU CAN WALK AROUND SMUG WELL I'M THREE TIMES LESS LIKELY
TO GET IT THAN YOU.
IS THIS GOING TO CHANGE THE WAY YOU INTERACT, WITH THE MASK.
>> I WILL LIVE FOREVER.
>> BUT YEAH, GLASSES MAKE YOU LESS LIKELY TO CONTRACT COVID IN
FACT TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER GUY FIERI ACTUALLY FLIPPED
HIS AROUND TO THE FRONT OF HIS HEAD.
MOVING ON SCIENTISTS HAVE JUST DISCOVERED A GENE THAT PLAYS A
KEY ROLE IN WHETHER OR NOT NEWLY WEEDS WILL BE GOOD LONG-TERM
PARTNERS.
GENE, OF COURSE, IS THE NAME OF YOUR WIFE'S PILL ATES INTRUCTER.
APPARENTLY PEOPLE WITH A SPECIFIC FORM OF THIS GENE ARE
MORE GRATEFUL, TRUSTING, FORGIVING AND OPEN TO PARTIES AT
GUILLERMO'S HOUSE.
AND WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS, A WOMAN IN MICHIGAN WAS ON
GOOGLE EARTH LOOKING AT THE TRINITY ISLANDS DOWN NEAR
AUSTRALIA AND SHE WAS SURPRISED TO FIND AN ISLAND THAT LOOKS
LIKE, SEE FOR YOURSELF.
(LAUGHTER) >> WHEN ASKED WHAT SHE WAS DOING
ON GOOGLE EARTH THE WOMAN REPLIED HONESTLY LOOKING FOR
PENIS SHAPES.
AND LOOK AT THAT.
TALK ABOUT A PRIVATE ISLAND.
THE ISLAND IS 1500 FEET LONG AND THAT COLD WATER, I KNOW IT LOOKS
BEAUTIFUL BUT LIFE ON THAT ISLAND IS ACTUALLY SEMIHARD.
(LAUGHTER) SHE FOUND THE ISLAND ON GOOGLE
EARTH.
MORE LIKE GOOGLE GIRTH.
IT'S NORTH OF AUSTRALIA BUT OFFICIALLY IT IS PART OF THE
PHILI-PENIS.