Descendants Caps Y'know, ever since High School Musical 1,
Disney Channel's been pumpin' out musical movies pretty much every year it seems like. Now so far
I've talked about the High School Musical and Camp Rock serieses, but this week I thought I'd take a
look at the most recent Disney musical series or whatever, Descendants. Now the first Descendants
movie came out in 2015 and it's actually one of Disney Channel's most watched movies ever,
putting it up there with High School Musical 2 and Teen Beach Movie? Huh, I should probably check
that one out sometime. But yeah, so this movie's gotta be a masterpiece right? Let's check it out.
The movie starts out by introducing us to this kind of hodgepodge world of Disney characters.
Once upon a time, long, long ago. . . well, more like 20 years ago. Belle married her Beast--
Wait wait wait wait a second here, you're telling me 20 years ago the Beast looked
like THAT? Whatever happened to this guy?! Looks like Belle got the ol' Tinder switcharoo y'know
what I mean? See that's why you gotta be careful. You think you're talking to a guy with a perfect
jawline and he's telling you all about his singing teapots or whatever and then BAM! Turns out it was
just some divorced high school math teacher the whole time. Anyway, so the king's son,
Ben, will somehow become the new king when he turns 16? Which I'm pretty sure that's
not how any of this works? Especially since his dad was apparently elected king?
Yeah, so, instead of a honeymoon Beast united all of the kingdoms and got himself elected
king of the United States of Auradon. Y’know I got a lot of questions about the
socioeconomics of this world. Whatever let’s move on.
He rounded up all the villains and sidekicks (basically all the really interesting people)
and he booted them off to the Isle of the Lost, with a magical barrier to keep them there.
Anyway, so Ben wants to release some of the Disney villain kids from the Island of the Lost
and let them come to his high school. Because when you see a 2008 Justin Bieber haircut in 2015
okay you know this guy’s a risktaker. So here is where the movie actually gets going. We
flash sideways over to the island and we get our first look at who the bad kids are.
Oh, there’s news! I buried the lead.
You 4 have been chosen to go to a different school. In Auradon.
What?! But yeah so
this is the Island of the Lost which kind of just looks like if you crossed Hook with
Newsies but all the songs are dubstep for goodness knows what reason. Anyway,
turns out these are the kids that get to leave the island and hang out with Ben and his cool hair.
We have Mal, Maleficent’s daughter, Carlos, son of Cruella De Vil, Jay, the son of Jafar,
and Evie, daughter of Evil Queen. And of course, being who they are, wouldn’t you be shocked to
learn that there’s maybe a little something more goin’ on behind this whole thing.
You will go, you will find the Fairy Godmother and you will bring me back her magic wand.
What’s in it for us? It’s all about you and me baby.
Do you enjoy watching innocent people suffer? Well yeah I mean who doesn’t?
Well then get me the wand! And you and I can see all that and so much more.
So long story short the kids get picked up in a magic limo and taken to the Auradon
prep school where they’re greeted by Ben, the kid from before, the Fairy Godmother--
I’m Fairy Godmother, headmistress. The Fairy Godmother? As in
bippity boppity boo? That was a long time ago.
And as I always say don’t focus on the past or you’ll miss the future.
Yeah you should probably stop saying it like that.
And we also meet Ben’s girlfriend, Princess Audrey, who smiles way more than any person ever
should like seriously this is the face you make when someone tells you to smile y’know and you’re
just like is this good enough for you? This is Audrey.
Princess Audrey. His girlfriend. Right Benny-boo, hmm? Hey, you’re Maleficent’s daughter aren’t you?
Yeah you know what I totally do not blame you for your mother trying to kill my parents and stuff.
Oh, my mom’s Aurora. Sleeping Beauty! Anyway so after this the kids get tours of
their new dorm rooms and everything and of course y’know they don’t like them ‘cause
they’re all nice and clean and gross. But they got more important things to worry about alright?
They gotta find the Fairy Godmother’s magic wand and I assume a whole lotta baby powder
‘cause I mean they’re wearing these like leather polyester outfits for the entire movie so y’know
it’s gotta be quite the adventure going on over there. Now thanks to the power of the
internet they find out that the magic wand is being held in a museum nearby so they
make their way over to the museum and we get all kinds of cool Disney Easter eggs like the
guard being put to sleep by having him prick his finger on the magic spindle thing.
Prick the finger, prick it deep. Send my enemy off to sleep.
But like, as I recall, the only way to wake someone up from this spell is with a kiss,
right? So like the next day at work’s gotta be real awkward.
So uhh, you gonna do it? Nope. You?
Nope. Well, I guess this is goodbye Jerry. Anyway, so they find the wand and try to take
it which sets off the alarm but they all manage to escape just in time which is
really impressive because like how do you even run in these outfits? Now the next day is the
kids first day at school and of course you know things start out a little awkward.
If someone hands you a crying baby, do you A. Curse it? B. Lock it in a tower? C. Give
it a bottle? Or D. Carve out it's heart? But as luck would have it Mal runs into Jane,
the Fairy Godmother's daughter. And she pretends to be her friend and gives her nice hair y’know
the foundation for any good friendship as I always say, in hopes that she will somehow
help get the wand I guess. Do my nose!
Oh, I can’t. Not like your mom! With her wand!
She doesn't use the wand anymore. Pfff, what a rip. That’s the face!
Yeah! Oh mother, I just don’t understand why you can't make me beautiful too.
Think it could work? Yeah. And hey! Invite me.
Anyway, so while this is all going on, the other characters have their own little adventures,
like Evie starts to have a thing for Prince Charming’s son, AKA Prince huuuuuuuuh. Jay
starts playing whatever this sport is, and Carlos gets scared by a dog.
Why are you holding him he’s gonna attack you! Carlos you’ve never actually met a dog
have you? You’re a good boy aren’t you?
I guess you guys have it pretty rough on the island.
Let’s just say we don’t get a lot of belly rubs.
Uhhhhh well I would certainly hope not. What's going on in this movie?
Or there’s this part later on where like another girl sees what Mal did for Jane and of course
y'know she wants to be cool too now. I-I love it!
You do? It’s just. . .
now I’m cool! What? That’s all it takes?
I’ve been doing it wrong this whole time?! Anyway, so later in the movie, we learn that
during the prince’s coronation ceremony, y’know, when he actually becomes king, the Fairy Godmother
is going to use the magic wand for something and everyone gets to attend. So finally this is
their chance to get the wand and do whatever their plan is. But, there’s just one little problem.
Is it true that we all get to go to your coronation?
Yeah the whole school goes. Do you think that it’s a possibility
that the 4 of us could stand in the front row next to the Fairy Godmother just so we could
soak up all that goodness? I wish you could. Up front
it’s just me, my folks and my girlfriend. Now after hearing this Mal’s like “What’s that?
Girlfriend you say? I’ll be right back”, and goes off to the kitchen to start making a love cookie?
To try and brainwash Ben into dumping Audrey and falling in love with Mal instead. Which I feel is
completely unneccessary ‘cause let me tell ya okay when I was 16 if some cute girl with purple hair
came up and gave me a cookie I mean it just would have been all over for me. Anyway so she makes the
cookie and gives it to Ben. No no, hey.
How are they? They’re good, they’re great, they’re
amazing. The chocolate—the chocolate. . . chocolate chips uh. . . I’m sorry
um. . . See that’s why
you don’t go for the sugarfree kind alright? Just one bite and the rest of your day is ruined.
Mal have you always had those little golden flecks in your eyes?
How ya feelin’, bro? Okay sorry just real quick
question here guys. What’s going on with Jay over here? Is he okay?
But anyway, so turns out the cookie worked maybe a little too well and now Ben loves Mal so
goshdarn much he just has to sing about it y’know like you do. So now that Ben is like sooo in love
with Mal or whatever, he asks her out on a date. But not just a date okay? It’s like a date date
y’know what I mean? So to prepare for this, Evie helps Mal look less like herself ‘cause
y'know if you’re gonna make a movie like this you gotta have a makeover scene.
For the first time I understand the difference between pretty and beautiful.
Anyway so then they go on this super romantic date through the forest and they have like a
picnic by the lake Ben set up beforehand “deh look at me I'm Ben I’m so perfect mememe”. So
out of nowhere Ben’s just like “Hey Mal do you wanna watch me swim?” And then Mal’s like “Nah
I’m good” but then she takes one look at his abs and it’s all like *angels singing*
and she sings a song about how she’s falling in love with him or whatever. But you know to
be fair I did the same thing when I was in high school except take “guy with abs” and
replace him with “girl who walked by me in the hallway once”, but still. After this Ben
lets us all know that he has no idea how first dates work and just throws out one of these.
Uh Mal, I told you that I loved you. What about you?
Well y’know I wouldn’t say love but uh sure I’m a pretty big fan of myself all things considered
soo. . . wait what was the question? Anyway so skipping ahead a little bit,
it’s the day of the coronation and finally time to get that magic wand. Now believe it
or not Mal’s not completely evil and she plans to undo her love spell on Ben before the whole
like takin’ over the world thing happens ‘cause otherwise y’know that’d be kinda rude.
I have something for you. For me?
Yeah! It’s just for later. Always thinking. But I can’t wait.
No! Mmm this is really good.
Would you say that you’re still in-- with-that—that you still have
very strong feelings for me? Let’s give the anti-love potion a
few minutes to take effect. Wha—what? You knew?
Yeah so turns out the love spell wore off a long time ago but like I said a cute girl with purple
hair who gives you cookies and muffins like I mean c’mon what am I gonna do say no?
Anyway so the coronation starts big fancy ceremony and all that but I gotta say I
know that Disney Channel doesn’t have the biggest budgets or whatever but like how has their green
screen technology not gotten any better since like Halloweentown 1? What’s going on over there guys?
Anyways so the Fairy Godmother takes out her magic wand Mal grabs it and blasts open the barrier on
the island and unleashes all the Disney villains into—what's that now? No! You're kidding!
Huh, well isn’t that something. So let me get this straight here,
Jane wants to be pretty and so naturally of course that means the wand is therefore going to destroy
the barrier on the island? Just wham bam bippity bow there ya go. Like how exactly does magic work
in this world? And on top of that like what even was Jane’s plan here? She’s just gonna like make
herself all purty in front of everyone as if her mom isn’t just gonna undo the spell 5 seconds
later anyway? And everyone already knows what she looks like so, huh? Disney Channel movies
they don’t always make sense. Anyway so Mal takes the wand away from Jane and she’s about to do
y’know whatever she’s gonna do with it but but but but but that’s when things take a turn.
I think I want to be good. You are good!
How do you know that?! Because—because I’m listening to my heart.
I wanna listen to my heart too. Have you ever noticed that’s like the solution
to every problem in every Disney movie? But like I tried that once and I did not get very far.
Hey uh you remember that time you went to Starbucks and the barista said enjoy your drink
and you said yeah you too? Why don’t we just think about that for 12 hours.
Or how about that time in high school when Jessica randomly asked if you wanted to
come over and study and you said no thanks I studied yesterday? Haha, whoops. Sure hope
you weren’t planning on sleeping tonight. So in the end, Mal and the other kids decide being
good is cool and friendship is magic and everybody fist bumps for some reason and they all live
happily ever after until 10 SECONDS LATER. I’M BAAAACK!
Y’know I gotta hand it to ya Disney Channel somehow you always make
your villains the most obnoxious people ever, hats off to you.
Anyway so Mal tries to convince her mom that taking over the world and
stuff might not be the best idea. I’ve had years and years and years and
years of practice being evil you’ll get there! No I will not! Love is not weak or ridiculous.
It’s actually really amazing. Okay Mal, let's just hold on for
a second here. You’re like what, 16? How about we circle back in like 10 years after
you’ve dated your 4th guy who thinks that grinding your own coffee is a personality
and we can talk about it then alright? Anyway, so in the end, Mal uses the power of
love—yes, really—to turn her mom into a baby lizard, and then she gives the wand back and
everyone sings and dances and all that Disney stuff. Now this movie is a musical right? But
I dunno the songs are so few and far between that it’s actually kind of jarring when suddenly
everyone starts singing and then you’re like “oh yeah, this again”. This movie’s also full of what
I like to call “Disney Channel personality”. What I mean is like all the characters are supposed
to be around like 16 or whatever right? And yet they all act like they’re maybe
10? I mean like if this were a kids movie with like kid kids in it this would be fine, but like,
16? But anyway so with the 3rd Descendants movie coming out this August I guess we’ll
just have to check out the 2nd one too sometime soon so y'know look forward to that I guess.
So last week I did Lizzie McGuire and y'know this week I’m doin’ Descendants and one thing I thought
was really interesting is like going back to Lizzie McGuire obviously it’s old it’s almost 20
years old at this point when it started and it’s cheesy and it’s weird and dumb and whatever. With
Lizzie McGuire the characters are 13 years old and they kinda act like 13 year olds like what I
expect or what I remember or y'know what I would think a 13 year old would act like y’know what
I mean? And like I mentioned at the beginning of this video I did all 3 High School Musical movies
I know there’s one about Sharpay and I’ll get to it everyone can stop asking me about it okay. And
I also did both of the Camp Rock videos and Camp Rock 2 and High School Musical 3 came out in 2008
which is 7 years before this Descendants movie right? So there’s a pretty big gap between them.
And one thing I think is interesting is like there seems to be this thing with Disney Channel movies
where it's like it's almost like they're Benjamin Button or something where it's like the characters
are staying the same age right they're all like 14 15 16 years old but the way that characters
act and talk and the way things are presented is kind of getting younger and younger as time
goes on. Y'know you go back and watch like older stuff from Disney even y'know 2006 2007 era I mean
it’s cheesy and kinda dumb but it's like the kids are actually like more or less what their age is
more or less I mean they have that Disney kinda spice to it but you know what I mean.
But then watching Kim Possible it’s like y'know they’re supposed to be 14 years old but
y'know everyone’s acting like they’re 7 and then in this movie they’re all 16 years old but they’re
acting like they’re y’know 8 9 10 years old I don’t know it’s like this weird regression of
like things are getting kinda dumber in a way I don’t know maybe dumber isn’t the right word
but you know what I’m saying. Anyway thank you so much for watching don’t forget to subscribe
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and above all else everybody have a great day and I’ll see you all next time.