I am the, one of the biggest Conan fans,
I would say ever. And uh, he's just,
he's the reason I do stand up
and doing his show was just like,
it was a little scary cause it's like,
after this, what is there to live for?
(laughing)
You know, like when you have these dreams?
I have a little bit of that with Conan.
You know it's only gotten better and our,
and I've become like friends with him but, um
there are these moments where you get to meet the people
that you've always wanted to meet.
And then you're like, "Okay, well
I don't really have any more goals in life."
It was like Conan, Dave Matthews.
and I guess Jennifer Aniston, I still have to meet her.
And then I can um, then I can die.
(upbeat music)
A lot of work goes into a short,
late night stand up set.
Join me, JP Buck, as I spotlight the comedians
who came up with some of my favorite coin sets.
This is the Set Up.
[Conan] Please welcome the very funny Nikki Glaser.
You have a great Aniston impression.
Ugh, ugh thank you. Ugh,
J, you are so, oh! Ugh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
I do.
Oh, God.
JP, ugh, oh!
Yeah, I do. Like, (chuckles)
it's just, you just have to act like you're watching
a squirrel almost get hit by a car.
That's the stuff, I always go into Aniston
whenever I'm like, Oh, oh, oh no, no, no,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh good, oh!
Like, that's always my, (chuckles)
that's where I go to for that.
(upbeat music)
I found a couple of photos also, uh,
of you backstage before the show.
Oh, I remember that.
And it's just cause I wanna, I wanna show you,
let me know if this brings any sort of sense memory.
Oh, my gosh.
Yes. Oh, this is the best because there's always,
whenever I do it, even, whether I'm doing panel
or when I did stand up
these guys that hold open the curtains for you are so nice.
Everyone backstage and everyone
at Conan is just so kind and friendly.
And I always just feel like God, I want to work.
It's just fun. It's a, it's a fun day for me.
And everyone's always excited I'm there.
It just, it always feels like my birthday when I'm there.
So I just remember talking to these two guys and feeling,
and just having some chitchat that ease, that really
calm my nerves. But, um,
right now in this moment I'm, I don't think I'm,
obviously I'm nervous. Look at me, I'm like gripping that
very hard. And my outfit is like, I remember getting
fitted for this, and I was, at the time I was doing an
an MTV show where they dress me like a Barbie doll.
So this was still like, kind of in that realm of dressing.
Like I was going to be on MTV very soon and, um,
yeah but I was like very, at this point,
I'm probably going over my jokes. I'm looking down.
So I'm thinking about my jokes, thinking about the order
making sure I get it all right.
And while also trying to have a conversation
with these two sweet gentlemen.
And this is backstage still, right?
This is backstage, just before you walk out there
Yeah, I always like to have a moment with
whoever is backstage and be like, "I like your shoes."
It's like, I like to have some kind of moment
that grounds me and makes me feel like myself
because I want to go out there
and talk the same way that I talk, you know, backstage.
So I like to just be like, Oh my God, wait, what is that?
Like, just have some sort of interaction.
So I think I'm always dying to like pose for a picture
and be like, got it, like just
get me out of my head for a second.
So, that's, I do this every time at your show.
(theme music)
Please welcome the very funny Nikki Glaser
(upbeat game show music)(clapping)
Hello, how are you!
(audience cheering)
Me too, me too. I flew here a couple of days ago
from New York city, uh, whenever I fly,
my mom always gets so nervous.
She's like, will you call me when you land
so I know you got in safely.
I'm like, how about I don't call you?
And you just watch the news later.
I loved this joke more than you did.
Yeah.
I will openly admit that this was me
pushing you to do this joke.
I love this joke, JP.
But I know, I knew this joke and I knew that it never
gets what it deserves and it makes me so mad.
Even watching it now, first of all, I'm nervous as hell.
I'm holding the mic weird.
I always hold my mic way too high.
I'm nervous so that wasn't helping the joke.
But this joke never does well.
And it makes, this is one of the jokes that I'm going to
bring back and work on because this deserves more
than it got. And it always doesn't get
as much as it deserves so you're not wrong.
And I'm so glad you believed in it.
Your first joke never gets what it should
because they're hearing your voice.
They're getting used to you.
And the fact, even though you did say hello,
nice to be here. You did just start cold.
Having another sacrificial lamb ahead
of this joke would have helped
The secret to stand up, is not really being funny.
It's making the audience comfortable and know that you've
you've got this and you've, they can
sit back and relax. Watching someone who's nervous
whether or not they're hilarious is, you're, you'll bomb.
So you can be very unfunny and just look comfortable
and people will laugh. That's just like a trick,
but, uh, this joke I'm nervous.
It requires too much of a leap in logic.
And it's too much for the first show, but I don't regret it.
I'm glad we got it out of the way.
And I'm excited to bring it back.
Another option for an opener that you had just
like you were recently, you're a bad driver
and you were driving, you were out and you had hit,
hit a deer, dear old man.
And I hope he's okay. I left a note.
Yeah, yeah. (chuckles) that, that joke actually,
Anthony Jeselnik had a same, the same, exa-
pretty much the same joke that he later put in a special.
And so I wasn't ever able to do that again, but that joke,
that joke would have been perfect.
I mean, my, my favorite opener, the one that always works
and that I use all the time is I just I'm Nikki.
I just turned, um, I just turned 27
in June of 2008 or whatever, you know like whatever
that one always gets them too just the shortest
amount of time between you saying, starting your first joke
and the laugh is the best opener.
(upbeat music)
I have a roommate in New York.
She's not there much anymore.
Cause she just got a boyfriend, you know
or she's like super missing
but um, (audience laughs)
gonna hope for the best on that one.
Her parents keep calling like, have you seen her?
I'm like, check Craigslist. That's where I found her. So,
trying to help.
I'd put up missing posters,
but she told me not to use her printer without asking.
So my hands are tied, you know, just like hers.
(audience laughing)
I hope she's okay.
Oh man, ugh.
If I'm going to be honest, I was watching a lot
of Amy Schumer around this time and like I am just
it's, it's so hard for me. I've had to stop watching people
I really like, because I will just sound like them. And,
Amy was,
we were hanging out a lot at this time.
And like that was a total Amy delivery.
She's one of my favorite comedians of all time.
So it, it makes sense, but I just walked
out and I go, oh, like you haven't found like
obviously I've found my style and the tone of the jokes
but I just go, oh, she likes Schumer a lot.
And has been watching a lot of hers.
And, um, I was always like really dark with my jokes.
Like this, the fact that this girl's missing
and tied up somewhere, I would change it a lot though.
Like now, like my hands are tied.
Like hers probably are, like, I wouldn't say like hers are
I would have said like hers probably are.
I think that would hit harder because
I don't know where she is.
And then I probably would have kept going with it.
Like, uh, it's, it's, it's funny to see now
how I would approach these, but this is, this is fun.
I'm actually looking at this.
Like, she's a different person.
She's not me.
It's making it easier for me to watch.
(upbeat music)
I had to move out when my mom found my vibrator.
I had the same reaction I did
when she found cigarettes in my purse when I was 16.
I was like, mom, it's not mine.
(audience laughs)
I'm holding onto it for a friend.
(audience laughs)
She had the same reaction too though.
Cause she made me use it until I got sick, so.
(audience laughs)
I learned, I learned my lesson.
(audience clapping)
yeah, thank you.
It makes me so mad that that got an applause break
because I did not write that tag.
I did write the first part cause it was all true
of me saying I'm keeping it for a friend.
And that's also what I used to say when she found pot,
um, the joke of she made me use it until I got sick
was written actually by my friend Harris Wittels
who has now passed.
So it's actually like, a beautiful thing that this lives
he like, for me lives on in this joke and every time I ever
like tell this joke on stage, sometimes I just remember it
in the middle of my show.
I always think of him, but it,
there's nothing more infuriating
than when someone gives you a line
and then it's like, it's the first applause break you get
and you're like, ugh, I can't even take credit for that.
But that was, that was a Harris Wittels and is so good.
That makes me so happy, I never knew that. And that,
of all the people that could have written that for you
that makes me the happiest that it was him.
I know, right? I love it so much.
He lives on with that disgusting joke.
He was one of the comics who never,
I never got to have on the show
that I really feel disappointed that it never happened.
And the fact, just to hear that he did get a tag.
He got a tag, a great tag, like got an applause break.
I mean he, he was such a great writer and comic like,
that's why he was so beloved by so many people.
Yeah, exactly. He was so original and so cutting
and so funny and had that ability to be adorable
while saying something heinous.
You were shielding your eyes
and putting your head down for most of that.
But I don't know if you noticed
that you did look over to Conan.
That's when I like was like, okay, I got this.
And that is crazy that I didn't just, that's a closer joke.
I mean first of all, it's so gross
Um, you don't drop that a minute 45 in, but you know
I don't play by the rules, JP.
How am I going to end this? I forget.
(upbeat music)
And first guy was not special.
You know, he was just the first guy to have
a really good argument for why we should,
you know ,cause I was like, I don't think I'm ready.
And he was like, come on.
(audience laughs)
Yeah, that's it.
Thank you guys very much.
Okay, okay.
All right. So, a great joke,
delivery, hein.
A lot of things I would've done differently.
I'm happy with this set.
Definitely like, started the conversation with like
it was a great way to first meet Conan
Now I want to see, do you have when Conan came over?
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yes! This is the best.
(upbeat music)
(audience clapping)
That was great.
Thank you, Conan.
That was hilarious, that was fantsatic.
Nikki Glaser.
(audience claps and cheers)
Really funny. We'll take a break and be right back.
Oh my God. I was like, ah!
Okay. So, he was so nice.
I mean like you could tell, like it was great.
Like he was very, he knew that I was nervous
and he was very encouraging, and it was, it was great
but it wasn't like the way, you know, uh,
and, and, and I remember right after that, I was like,
I just, you are the reason I do comedy.
And, and I said, and (stutters)
I'm just, I'm not just saying that.
You are the reason I do comedy.
And he said, girls telling me that
I'm the reason they do comedy
is why I do comedy.
Or like girls, like you talking to me
is the reason I do comedy.
He said something funny like that, that I was just,
Goddamn, he's so hilarious and so nice.
And, um, and then he like took the pictures
with me backstage and I, uh, I definitely like cried.
And there's one picture where it looks
like I'm like going to prom with him.
I'm like next to him, just like
like I look like I, it was just, that was the best.
And I was done too. You know, like that,
when you go thank you, good night.
And you feel good about it.
It's just like, that sense of relief is,
is amazing and um, yeah.
And then I went over and I think Adam Scott was on the show,
He was very nice. And Andy of course is always like so cool.
And uh, yeah, that was, that was great.
Look at the two of you, chatting it up.
Oh, oh! I am just like, just trying to be in that moment
and be so cool and have like, uh, just a connection.
I mean that, I'm losing my mind in that photo.
I remember that so much and I still don't really, um,
I'm not, like it's, it's so hard for me to be present
when I'm talking to him because it's, it's, it's just,
he's, he's my faith. But um,
I remember sitting on that couch and just feeling,
and I've watched so many times
And just being like, I made it. I did it. I did it.
And this is what's was the goal.
And you know,
I mean, my friends
from high school could not believe I was
on Conan because in high school I was filling out notebooks
drawing pictures of him. Uh, reciting bits
I'd seen the night before highlighting in the year 2000
the best jokes in there and studying the jokes.
I mean, I was such a huge fan.
So this is like, again
I'm trying to be cool here, but I'm not.
And, um, and yeah, I just remember
getting to sit on that couch was such a, such an honor.
(upbeat music)
Thankfully, through doing your show, like I,
I have found my voice.
I really think
my appearances on Conan have been,
are, are the things that pop up on YouTube that people binge
and, and and write me about constantly, so.
And it's where I feel my most self
and it's where I'm the most excited and just I'm in heaven.
So it's, it's really cool to revisit this.
I am so grateful for you to have had me on the show
and yeah, I really, I, I, after that performance
I was like, okay, I can just, I can quit now.
Like, I really don't have any goals.
Hosting SNL is my last real, like actual entertainment goal.
And even that I'm like, it wasn't
as important to me as having been on Conan, but I,
that was like the number one goal and I achieved it.
So I'm done.