>> RIGHT.
THIS IS A SIMPLE ONE TODAY, JUST PROVIDE THE TESTING FIGURES,
SHOW THE MACHINES NEXT YEAR AND TAKE A FEW QUESTIONS.
>> -- WHERE A MEMBER OF THE VICE PRESIDENT'S STAFF TESTED
POSITIVE FOR THE CORONAVIRUS.
WHERE DID THE SYSTEM BREAK DOWN TO ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN?
>> WE HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE AT THE WHITE HOUSE AND WE HAD ONE
PERSON.
>> THEY DON'T MAIL IT TO EACH OTHER.
MOVE TO TIN CREDIBLE MACHINES.
>> THESE ARE INCREDIBLE MACHINES.
>> BEST IN THE WORLD, PROBABLY.
ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD.
NOWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD -- >> OTHER COUNTRIES ARE CALLING.
SOPHISTICATED COMPANIES.
>> THIS ISN'T ABOUT MAKING MONEY THIS TIME.
>> TRYING TO MAKE AS MUCH -- DON'T SAY MONEY.
-- AVAILABLE TO THEM.
TRY TO FOCUS, THESE ARE THINGS THAT DIDN'T EXIST A SHORT
WHILE AGO.
>> THESE ARE THINGS THAT DIDN'T EVEN EXIST A SHORT WHILE AGO.
>> I KNOW YOU WANT TO SAY THE THING BUT DON'T SAY THE THING.
WE THEDE TO RUN IT BY FOCUS GROUPS --
>> AND WE WILL TRANSITION INTO GREATNESS.
>> OKAY, HE SAID THE THING.
NEVER MIND, HE ONLY SAID IT ONCE.
>> IT'S A PHRASE YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR A LOT BECAUSE --
( SIGHS ) -- AND THE RURMS ARE DROPPING
SUBSTANTIALLY.
>> NO THEY'RE NOT.
THE NUMBERS ARE DROPPING AROUND --
>> DON'T SAY IT AGAIN.
OUR COUNTRY VERY SUBSTANTIALLY.
>> NO, THEY'RE NOT.
BUT I THINK IT'S GOING TO BE VERY SPECIAL.
>> DON'T SAY THE THING AGAIN.
WE NEED FOCUS GROUPS TO GET APPROVAL BEFORE WE ROLL OUT.
>> IT'S A TRANSITION TO GREATNESS
( SIGHS ) >> I BETTER NOT SEE THAT SLOGAN
PRESENTED ON MERCHANDISE, YOU GREEDY PLUM CAKE.
>> THE NUMBERS ARE DOWN FROM TWO WEEKS AGO.
>> THEY'RE NOT.
NUMBERS ARE REALLY COMING DOWN SUBSTANTIALLY.
>> I DIDN'T LITERALLY MEAN TO KEEP SAYING IT.
>> THE NUMBERS ARE COMING DOWN VERY RAPIDLY.
>> SIX TIMES YOU SAID THIS NOW.
BUT ALL THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY THE NUMBERS ARE COMING
DOWN RAPIDLY.
I THINK YOU SEE THAT, ADMIRAL.
>> SEVEN TIMES.
AND JOHN THE NUMBERS ARE COMING DOWN RAPIDLY.
>> EIGHT TIMES.
IF YOU SAY IT AGAIN I'M GOING TO HAVE TO LEAVE FOR A MOMENT AND
SCREAM INTO A CUSHION.
>> ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY, THEY'RE COMING DOWN VERY
RAPIDLY.
>> WAS ONE OF THE LOWEST WE'VE HA --
( SCREAMING IN BACKB BACKGROUND >> TAKE ANOTHER QUESTION.
YOU SAID MANY TIMES HAT THE U.S. IS DOING FAR BETTER THAN
ANY OTHER COUNTRY WHEN IT COMES TO TESTING.
>> YES.
NO.
WHY DOES THAT MATTER?
WHY IS THIS A GLOBAL COMPETITION TO YOU IF --
>> OKAY, SHOW SOME HUMILITY HERE.
>> MAYBE THAT'S A QUESTION YOU SHOULD ASK CHINA.
>> OH, THAT'S RACIST, YEAH.
DON'T ASK ME.
ASK CHINA THAT QUESTION, OKAY?
>> NO, THE QUESTION I WHY ARE YOU USING A GLOBAL PANDEMIC TO
OVERCOME YOUR FRAGILE MASCULINITY WHICH I DON'T THINK
CHINA GIVES A HOOT ABOUT.
>> WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT TO ME?
>> I SAY THAT TO ANYONE ASKING A NASTY QUESTION.
NEXT, PLEASE.
>> THIS IS A CAR CRASH WITH MORE MISOGYNY.
IT'S TWO PREJUDICES FOR THE PRICE OF ONE.
>> THE YOUNG LADY IN THE BACK.
JUST TAKE A HOLD OF THE SITUATION MAN UP!
COME ON, GET A DWRIP!
BE RUGGED!
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WALK AWAY BECAUSE A WOMAN ASKS YOU A
DIFFICULT QUESTION.
>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> EVIDENTLY YOU ARE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YOU CAN'T WALK AWAY LIKE THAT.
YOU JUST CAN'T -- GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!
I'LL TAKE YOUR iPad AWAY FOR THE WHOLE AFTERNOON!
>> James: OUR THANKS TO THE GENIUS MICHAEL SPICER.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF "THE LATE LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.