- God, before this happened, I was having a fantastic day!
(playful music)
Two to three years ago, I was a college student.
I was on the cross country team.
I was a couple of miles away from home,
we were running along The Esplanade
which is this public park in the middle of Boston.
It's really pretty, there's usually a ton of people there,
it was probably around seven p.m.
And I probably run about three to five miles
and I have just turned around to start going back home
and then all of a sudden, I'm just hit with the feeling of,
oh my god, I have to poop!
Which happens a lot when you're running.
It's pretty common.
So I didn't freak out about it 'cause normally,
you can kinda like just slow down a little bit or walk
and then I wasn't worried.
So I start walking,
and the feeling actually ends up getting worse.
I'm like, oh my god, this is not good!
So I find any empty bench I could find,
I sit down, trying to collect my thoughts,
makes it so much worse.
So now I'm like, oh my, it's happening!
It's gonna happen!
So I'm freaking out
because not only am in a very public place,
there are no bathrooms anywhere near me,
so I run over to the creek
and I check my surroundings a hundred times
just to make sure that nobody's around
because I'm like, I'm gonna get arrested
because I needed to do this very normal human thing
and I pretty much get in the water
without getting in the water.
I'm on a rock.
So I just pull 'em down and poop on a rock
by a creek in a very public park.
It was the worst moment of my life
and also, mind you, I've just ran like five miles
so I was drenched in sweat.
So it was literally the most disgusting human
while this was happening.
I don't have toilet paper, right?
I'm not running with toilet paper or what.
Luckily, I had pulled my pants down
but I had to pull them back up.
And I'm sweaty so they were sticking to me and whatever
and I'm like, I wanna die.
It's awful.
So I pull 'em back up, nobody was around, thankfully.
I didn't get arrested but I'm still at this park
and I still have to get home
and now I have poop in my pants.
So I had to walk through the Boston Common.
At this point in time,
I had just stopped working
at The Equinox in the Ritz-Carlton
so I knew that you could go up and use their bathroom
and nobody would care.
Here I am, sweaty, disgusting, poopy
and I get catcalled.
Catcalled!
I can't really remember what they said
but it was three men and they catcalled me
and I'm like, you have no (bleeps) idea.
It was also a huge confidence boost
because I'm sweaty, disgusting, and I have poop in my pants
and I got catcalled but not really.
It was amazing.
It was an incredible experience,
I can't believe it happened.
I throw my underwear out in the bathroom
of the Ritz-Carlton.
Got rid of all the evidence, everything was cleaned up.
The private shame of it was a pretty disgusting feeling.
- So it's Christmas time
and I'm going home for about two weeks.
So I was getting ready and I like to take,
if I can help it, a preflight poo
'cause the worst thing is having
to poop on an airplane (burps)
and the flight is about six hours.
I poop and then I don't know
why I didn't flush it immediately
'cause normally I do, but for some reason, I didn't.
Maybe it's 'cause I was getting in the shower.
That would make sense.
Anyway, I go home, I'm home for two weeks,
I have a great time, I come back to my apartment.
I walk in, I'm just like, (breathes deeply)
I'm hit with a thick smell.
It felt like maybe there was a vapor
that it created in my apartment.
And it felt like I walked into it and I was like,
oh, someone is cooking something that has spoiled really bad
and then I walk into the bathroom, I'm like, "Oh no!
"It was me!"
I've been letting my human (bleeps) simmer
for two full weeks.
It took a really long time to get that smell out.
Sometimes, if I smell something similar,
I go back to a really bad place.
I don't think anyone should be embarrassed
about something that happens to everyone.
We all have a terrible poop story.
(playful music)
- [Emily] Everybody poops!
It's not always gonna be perfect.
- [Kate] It's more fun to laugh at it
than it is to keep it bottled up.
Don't keep pooping, don't keep poop stories in.
That's how you get sick.
(playful music)