“Ah you look like you need help with that.”
“Where are your parents?”
“I’m gonna pray for you.”
“You’re too pissed mate, get out.”
No I’m not…
It’s just the way I walk.
I’ve not even had a drink!
“Why do you walk funny?”
Why do I walk funny…
Why do I walk funny...
I just say, “I’m drunk” I have used my CP before as an excuse when
I have been a little bit tipsy.
It gets me so many advantages.
I mean like you can skip queues.
Like, if you go Thorpe Park, you get a stamp on your hand.
Free drinks!
Do you get free drinks?
No!
I don’t get no free travel, I don’t get no free drinks.
What?
But you do need to wear a little dress and dribble a lot.
“Can you have sex?”
I just answer, “Well lube up and let’s see.”
You can see men looking at me in clubs going, “Mmm.. how does that work?”
If I’ve been in a relationship, I’ve spoke about my boyfriend, there’s been a bit of
a, sort of, taken back kind of, “Oh, you can, you’re in a relationship?”
I’ve got children so I must be able to.
Yes!
If not, the milkman’s been really busy while I’ve been at work.
Yes, disabled people can have sex and I’ll happily direct them to those sites.
You can keep those websites to yourself.
Gladly.
I don’t want to know.
I’ll tell you later!
“Is it contagious?”
Yes, it’s definitely contagious.
Atchoo!
Yes of course it is and you’ve just got it.
Yeah, they think their kid could get it, what happens if you go within a certain distance.
If they’re trying to give you space on a path, they won’t give you space to get past,
they’ll give you a landing strip.
Cerebral palsy is obviously brain damage rather than a disease or something genetic.
Everyone’s got kinda their own CP, it’s not like you can point it and say, “It’s
definitely that.”
I had mine, because there was trouble during the birth of triplets, that’s how I got
mine, but then other people can get it in different ways.
I had a stroke.
You had a stroke, yeah exactly.
My shoulder got stuck.
Oh bloody hell.
Coming out.
Well it was the 80s and I was wearing shoulder pads.
No!
I speak slow enough for the both of us.
Speech difficulty is the number one thing, that makes people think you’re a bit slow
They normally either talk to me in a really patronising way anyway, or they talk to the
person that I’m with.
They kind of, people speak to you, like they would a kid.
Assume someone with CP is mentally capable, until they tell you they vote Ukip.
“You look like you need help with that.”
I get this on a daily basis.
If I needed help I’d ask, If I ain’t asked, leave me alone.
I know when I was younger, when I was in the wheelchair and stuff people used to just assume
that they could push the wheelchair.
I can do it, might take me a minute longer, but I can do it.
“Oh poor you!”
Ahhh Ahhh
Pour me a drink!
Yeah, it is hard, but at the same time, it’s a lot of fun as well.
I have a really busy life, I do all sorts of things.
It’s also when people are like “Oh so I have CP” and like “Oh you should take
this remedy, you should use this herbal tea and that herbal tea.
Or you get religious healers coming up to you and saying that they can cure you.
I don’t think anybody I know that’s got cerebral palsy suffers from it, it’s part
of who we are.
We are like happy, happy normal people.
Funny individuals.
Woah!
Chill out, its cerebral palsy, we’re okay!