- Oh my God, he's so majestic!
- Sir!
(Izzy screams and laughs)
- Maybe if I don't... (screams)
- See, this is why I don't play these games.
- (React) Today, you are playing one of the biggest
and most talked about games right now, Elden Ring.
- Elden Ring, yes!
- (React) We're gonna see how long
you can make it in the game without dying.
- Literally the first boss, you die.
- Should I just say like and subscribe right now? (laughs)
Choose your character!
- I wanna be a wretch.
- Let's get the naked ones.
- I'm gonna go hero.
- My name? Flermp.
- Nailed it. (both laugh)
- Ballsjohnson shall play the game.
- (gasps) Woo! Okay.
- Smack.
Oh, harder smack, ooh. Skirrt! (laughs)
- Okay, that's obviously a power of some sort.
- I have to go over here, pick up this guy's little,
gross little finger.
- Mmm, tarnished wizard finger, delicious.
- I took his finger.
- Alright, oh, oh, so that's how you crouch, got it.
Okay, okay.
We're learning, sorry! (laughs) I'm a PC gamer.
Look how I'm playing.
I want you to just see how I'm playing. (laughs)
- Break things! Okay, cool.
I know I'm not supposed to jump down there.
- When I was playing... No [censored].
Ah, I can just go down here, that's fine.
Whenever I play games like this, I'm really good at just
going past everything, like everything that I need.
- A giant statue thing.
Whoa, look at that, oh God! (laughs)
- Oh [censored]! Oh [censored]!
- Why, so many arms! (laughs)
- Look away. Ladies, look away.
- We got the Grafted Scion. Ooh, nope, nope, nope.
I'm already about to die.
- [Censored].
(Izzy screams and laughs)
- Oh, I'm gonna [censored] die!
I, did I just die?
- Oh God! - (React) You died.
- Did I?
- Nope, I already died.
- How do you deflect? Oh [censored].
It's been great, thank you so much for having me. (laughs)
- Oh, I don't have anything, I can't, oh, I'm already dead.
Ah, it didn't matter anyway.
- (React) Unfortunately, you have to die at that point.
- I was about to be like hold on, you all got me messed up.
- (React) We're gonna give you another chance here.
- That's shocking, 'cause you shouldn't.
- Now I don't feel as bad.
- And now I'm just laying butt naked here.
- A horse!
- Yeah, goat horse thing!
- Is this a demon horse?
His name is Torrent? Did they download it?
- Yo dude, like for real? Just let me in.
- Touch some grass.
- Severed finger, yummy, yummy.
- I've just gotta run around cutting fingers off?
- Nice, nice, oh.
- Rawr smash!
Okay, I'm done smashing, wait, is this an elevator?
Ooh, okay.
- Flermp got arms, bro. Flermp works out.
- These games always have like amazing visuals though,
like, I can't imagine how much work,
and how many hours they put into this.
- Is that my friend?
- This is where he says I'm maidenless.
- Let's touch grace.
That felt good.
- Can I have your clothes?
- Uh-huh.
Oh no.
- Tell me I'm maidenless. Please.
- No bitches? (laughs)
- I see someone over there.
- Is he our friend? Let's talk to him.
- Is he hostile?
- Oh my God, he's so majestic!
- Sir!
(Izzy screams and laughs)
- Maybe if I don't... (screams)
Maybe if I don't look back, he won't bite me!
- Oh my God! Oh no!
- (React) Why do you have that message up?
Get rid of that message!
- What did I do to you?
- Ow!
- There's no trees around here! Coward!
Ow.
- No, he can't get me if I do that!
- By the grace of God,
you run and you do not look back.
Nope, oh no, the poison! It's poison, it's poison!
Get up! (laughs)
- I don't think it was so much the poison,
as it was the giant ax.
- What?
- Wait, I pressed the wrong button. Seems about right.
- See, this is why I don't play these games.
- I am slowing... (screams)
Am I dead?
- (React) Now this game is known for being difficult.
It's also known for its bosses.
I'm gonna give you one more shot.
- No, you shouldn't.
- Alright, we're gonna avoid that person for now.
- Damn, this is a big map.
(Izzy gasps)
- See, I'm that [censored]
that doesn't like to kill things in games.
(laughs)
(React laughs)
Me too, I also sometimes somersault out of difficult situations.
- Can I find something easier to kill? Ooh, I see something up there.
Maybe that'll be easier to kill.
- (laughs) No. - (React) You can take those.
- Whoa!
- Wait, oh I just, okay, we're good there.
- [Censored] you, [censored] you!
- I will smash! Ow.
I didn't even hit it.
- Come on, dude, oh my God, there's so many!
Why are there so many? (laughs)
- Uh, that's rude, that's really rude, honestly.
- Oh, I have no health left, and I died.
- (React) You did it! - I killed all of 'em?
Aw, yeah! Let's go!
(Izzy babbles)
- Heal, and move on.
- Church of Elleh.
- Is that Santa Claus? (laughs)
It's Santa Claus.
- Hello weary traveler. Not a weary traveler.
Not a weary traveler.
- Sneak attack!
Ooh, ah, mm, mm. [Censored], wait!
- Ow, ow!
- Does he just not die?
Oh my God, you know what? I'm running.
- I wasn't targeted, okay, we're good.
- That's right.
- (React) You killed something!
- Yeah, you know, you gotta do the...
(React laughs)
- Ask stupid questions, play stupid games,
get stupid answers!
- This place right here is Hell.
- Don't get mad at me. No, alright.
Alright, I'll go around.
- The Groveside Cave.
- Oh [censored]. Ah.
- (React) The right, to the right!
- They're already on me! Oh God!
- I played this game for the first time yesterday.
Literally yesterday, I was in this little area
for three hours.
- Maybe if I crouch?
Oh, he didn't even see me when I was crouching.
No, my guy, no dude!
- Sick, out of here.
- Dude, look how stupid I look.
I need to hide this, that is mad embarrassing.
- And this part, this is another part
that I was stuck at for hours.
And then I go like this, and then I look up,
and you see the big old man.
- Whoa, what the [censored]?
Dude, what the [censored] is that thing, I don't even,
I got my hand. Oh my God, I'm getting...
(React laughs)
I'm supposed to kill that thing with my sword?
I don't even think that would even make it!
- No, and it didn't matter.
I done got got.
Just for the channel specifically, I just wanna beat this guy.
- (React) Okay.
- Oh Jesus!
Dude, I haven't even gotten the boss yet, bro,
and I'm gonna die?
- Oh no, no no no no. No no, he's here!
No, see that's why I killed him before!
'Cause then he shows up!
That's the problem!
- Oh my God!
Oh my God, I haven't even faced the boss yet, dude!
(laughs)
- Yes, okay, we're fine. Okay, okay. (sighs)
Oh, and is he still here? No, he died.
- Oh my God where, what happened, did I die?
I died, I didn't even, was that the boss?
No way that was the [censored] boss.
- (React) Before we wrap up,
I wanna have you face one of the bosses.
Now run. - (crew) So get out of crouch.
- (React) Run, run, run, run. (Izzy screams)
- Okay, okay, we're good, we're good.
And let me go through. Alright, where's the boss?
- Oh, oh.
- Oh my goodness.
Ooh, oh my gosh.
- Come on!
- Ew!
Ew, oh God! What are you?
- Oh [censored].
- Whoa, God! (laughs) Oh my God.
- Oh, oh oh. Oh, oh.
I'll try one more time.
I don't think I'm gonna get very far with the naked woman
and a wooden club.
- (React) So now you're gonna have the Vagabond to play with.
- So now I'm gonna actually be not naked.
- Jump out of the way! [Censored].
That fast!?
- What is, get your [censored] outta my face!
- Aw, I'm right there, and I don't have any more...
- Oh no, oh no. This is not going well.
(yells)
Oh lord. (yells) Dodge.
(laughs)
Ow, oh and...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up, what's up, what's up?
You like that?
Yo, yo yo yo, beast man, you're about to go down, what'd you?
- Oh, did I [censored] him up? Shut the [censored].
(screams)
Oh [censored], did I die? Did I die?
No!
- No, what the [censored]!
We literally have one, literally, no no no no.
It was right there!
- Yeah, that's what's up! That's what's up!
That's what's up, that's what's up!
I got the Flamedrake Talisman.
I guess I just needed a little bit of armor,
and not be naked with a club.
- As a player, I don't wanna play it,
but I'll definitely watch somebody just get wrecked
by a boss for hours.
- You know what, though?
The best streams are the streams where people rage.
Where they flip their table, or throw their controller.
- I'm not really the biggest fan of RPG kinda games,
but like, I really enjoy it.
- The fact that I actually am the only one that beat the boss
is pretty cool in itself, considering I died to a bat.
- ♪ La la la la ♪ ♪ La la la ♪
[Censored] is that?
- (Melina) You, I am afraid, are maidenless.
- I get it, I know, I don't need to hear it from you, man!
- Thanks for watching this episode of React Gaming!
- What other games should we play? Let us know in the comments.
- Be an Elden Lord and subscribe to our channel.
- Thanks for watching, you maidenless vagabonds.
(both laugh)