Is a divorced woman, bad woman, the divorced man, a bad man?
That's not right.
And I think it is so sad that in so many cultures,
we look especially if we look at women
when they are divorced as less or they
did something terrible
and a great sin, an unforgettable sin.
You know, I still remember once a man told me,
a father told me when I told him, Your wife is suffering.
Her husband is abusing her physically, even forcing her to use drugs.
He said I would rather her dead than a divorce.
It is terrible when I hear things
like this, and this is really, you know, what is not even daily
because in the ignorant days and it's called the ignorant days, OK,
before the prophet ﷺ's time.
Divorced woman, we're always looked at as something good.
Actually, people will compete over marrying a divorced woman in the old days.
And that's very common to read the history you will find the divorce.
one will be the first to go actually when it comes to marriage.
But unfortunately for some reason today, that
divorced woman have this reputation, which is not fair.
Not right? Absolutely un-Islamic.
You know, in Islam, there's so many Muslim great woman we're divorced.
Look at some even of the prophet ﷺ wives.
And look at the companions' wives.
You will find many were divorced.
So we need to change this culture.
We should, as a community, also stand up for for our brothers and sisters
not to make the divorce something to stain them or to shame them.
That's why sometimes sisters, will rather to stay married
to a man who's abusing her to be in a relationship
which is very abusive, which is very bad where there is no love
but actually suffering just because she doesn't want to be called divorcee
just because she don't want to take that title.
I'm a divorced woman or a divorced man.
Nobody want to marry them again. Nobody want to be.
That's that's wrong.
That's un-Islamic.
I don't know where that came from
because Hafsa (ra) the Prophet ﷺ divorced her, then he remarried her again
As in sunan abi dawud
Allah (swt) ordered him to marry her again, and he said
ارجعها فإنها صوامة قوامة
Take her back. She is a woman who fasts and prays a lot
So that notion that a divorced woman
or a divorced man is a bad man, that's not true.
What do you need to look at when somebody get divorced?
Why they got divorced?
You know, if it's your business, you know,
to know, let's say somebody proposed to your daughter, proposed to you.
You would like to know what's the reason for them to get divorced?
I always believe there is a lot of good sisters.
A lot of good brothers got divorced.
Not because they are bad.
They're still good, but maybe they are not good for each others.
There is a big difference between these two.
They are good, but not necessarily that they are good for each other.
Maybe they are not just the right match.
Maybe she will be a great woman with another man
and he will be a great man with another woman.
So make sure that whenever we see a divorce, take place in our community
to be supportive, not to be nosy, not to be to pointing finger,
not to make ghiba or gossip that's not allowed. And it's not.
And it is. It could be.
It is a sin actually, to mock
or to do ghibah at your brothers and sisters about their divorce.
Once a scholar divorce his wife,
so they ask him in the process Why you want a divorce?
She is my wife. I'm not going to say anything bad about her.
So after the divorce, he said, OK, now she's divorced.
Why did you? What's wrong with her?
He said, Now she's my sister [in islam] and I will not talk bad about my sister.
So you know what?
Al-Iman and the brotherhood between us and the sisterhood
between us as a community.
It will always remain, even if she's not my wife.
She's still my sister in Islam and he is still my brother in Islam
And Allah said: وَلَا تَنسَوُا الْفَضْلَ بَيْنَكُمْ
don't forget about the good things that was between both of you
May Allah (swt) protect all of us and give us happiness in our life