By the end of this video,
I'm going to tell you exactly what to say
to a narcissist to shut them down permanently.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am an attorney, I'm also a narcissist negotiation expert,
so when you are negotiating with a narcissist,
you're going to want to know what to say to shut them down,
whether you're in negotiations with them,
or maybe just talking to them, right?
I mean, it's so difficult, because they’re so toxic,
so before we even go any further,
I want to make sure you subscribe to this channel,
because I upload brand new videos every single day and
it is my mission on this planet to make sure that
you have what you need to shut down narcissists
all the time, permanently,
just like I'm saying in this video, right?
I want to make sure you can shut them down all the time in your life.
Let's talk about what to say to a narcissist to shut them down,
By the end of this video,
you're going to have everything you need.
To be honest with you, they can say whatever they want to,
they're going to lie, they're going to lie all the time,
they’re pathological liars, you let them lie.
Don't try to constantly defend yourself,
don't constantly try to go,
“That's wrong. You're saying this, you're saying that”,
because when you're constantly trying to push back against them,
you are causing yourself constant distress.
So, don't do that to yourself,
just say, “I don't agree with you”,
“Okay, if that's what you want to think”.
So just, “I don't agree with you”, all right?
Let them think what they want to think,
you are entitled to your faulty opinions,
you are entitled to your distorted views,
if that's what you want to think.
But, you do want to reinforce that
you are not allowed to be disrespectful to me.
That's something that you want to constantly reinforce,
you may think what you want to think,
but you are going to be respectful,
so the conversation can continue,
as long as you're going to be respectful to me.
So, you're entitled to your opinion,
but you're going to be respectful to me while you're having it.
One of the things that I would always say,
especially when I was talking to opposing counsel,
because I'm telling you what,
I had to deal with opposing counsel who were narcissists,
and I would often say,
“Just because we disagree doesn't mean we have to be disagreeable”.
So, that's something else that you can say,
“We can agree to disagree,
but we don't have to be disagreeable”,
continuing with this, that you don't have to be disrespectful,
because something else that's never negotiable,
my self-respect, my self-worth,
those things are never negotiable, right?
And they have their favorite catchphrases,
I mean, they love to say certain types of things,
like “Everyone else thinks” or “No one else thinks”,
they say certain things to make you think a certain way,
this is how you are shutting them down.
If you want to know more about their favorite catchphrases,
you can definitely check out my video on that topic.
When you say that, you're not acknowledging,
you're not saying yes, you're not saying you agree,
you're not say anything, you just saying “I heard you”.
A lot of times, they just want to be acknowledged,
they just want to know that you said something,
so you just can say, “I hear what you're saying”,
“I understand, I heard you”,
doesn't mean you said yes,
No, nothing, you just said “I heard you”.
When you say that,
you’re just acknowledging they feel a certain way and
it puts the feelings back on them.
You are not saying that you agree,
you're just saying that that's how they feel and
you're sorry that that's how they feel.
I like that one because you are no longer taking it personally,
you are starting to take back your power with that one,
which I like as well and
it's really starting to make you shut them down,
you're starting to shift, you’re starting to shift the dynamic
which is the most important thing.
You've got to start shifting that dynamic,
you stop that conditioning,
then you start moving forward a little bit,
then you start speaking…
Those are the steps.
A lot of times just saying nothing at all,
is really the best response.
Just look at them, really,
that can be very, very powerful,
it can be very, very powerful,
to just absolutely say nothing at all.
“No, I’m not going along with that”,
“No, I don't agree with you” “No, I don't believe you”.
“I trust that you understand…”,
because when you say “I trust that…”,
you're kind of saying something that,
it's like using words like I trust,
it's a neuro linguistic programming word,
where you kind of getting them to agree with something.
“I trust that you…” and
go into a statement that they’ll allegedly agree with you on.
Just to like completely disengage and
not give them any kind of supply and
completely go no contact,
really because they want that narcissistic supply and
so the more you engage with them,
that's what they really want.
They're trying to bait you, they're trying to trigger you,
so the more you take that bait,
the more you take those triggers,
the more they feel you're still in that emotional situation with them,
and you're not shutting them down
So, the more you can say nothing, the better it is.
So, with the other things that you can say,
you can shut them down and shut them down permanently,
which is what you want to do.
The real way to shut them down permanently is
to not engage with them at all and go no contact,
which is the best way to shut them down permanently.
If you are getting ready to go no contact with them,
or negotiate with them at all,
grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
at winmynegotiation.com.
Make sure to join my free private Facebook group,
“Narcissist Negotiators” on Facebook.
Don't do this alone.
Remember today's a great day to start negotiating your best life.
Make sure to subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell too,
because I upload brand new content every single day,
I upload new videos and
you want to make sure you get that new video every day,
because I'm here to make sure you can shift that dynamic,
grab your new life, grab your freedom and
drop the fear,
stop feeling paralyzed by fear of these narcissists.
They really are more afraid of you than you are of them.
I will see you guys in the next video!