- The only reason breakups are hard
is because letting go is hard.
And if people learn how to let go easier
to understand the true mechanics of attachment,
breakups would be so much easier.
And in this video,
I'm gonna show you the scary truth of reality
that will make breaking up
and letting go easier than ever before.
This is the video that I think you'll finally
really be able to let go and come at peace
with whatever's happened in your life
so that you can really either allow something new in
or understand the vibration of the breakup in general.
So in this video I'm gonna share with you exactly
what that is.
(upbeat music)
Welcome back to another video.
My name is Aaron
and I help people expand their consciousness.
Now, in this video, I'm gonna be sharing with you
the true vibration of a breakup in relationship.
And this could be a breakup with a person just like, I mean,
I guess it could be a breakup like an imaginary friend.
It could be a break, it's loss in general, attachment,
letting go of attachment is a form of a breakup.
I've had times before when I've been around friends
that were more toxic
and in a way I had to break up with them.
And that breakup felt not so comfortable
even though maybe I knew it was for the best.
I remember one time I broke up with cannabis.
I was smoking cannabis all day, every day, back in 2012.
And I had this knowing that I was gonna stop doing it
and I made a decision to quit
and I didn't listen to that actually
and I ended up going to a smoke shop,
getting this like glass piece,
I smoked out of it and I took in this hit
and as I was breathing it out,
I just started bawling my eyes out, I started crying.
And I felt a release of all of the the energy inside of me
that was so attached to that cannabis.
It was a very spiritual, emotional experience.
And for about two weeks after that, I felt pretty empty.
I felt empty.
Like I felt like there was something missing in my life.
And it's funny because that was an actual plant,
it wasn't necessarily a person,
but it was just as powerful as that.
So this doesn't have to be just that of a person,
although it would probably be the most common thing
that people are here for is a breakup with somebody else
but this is something that I've been through
over the last two years.
Two years ago I broke up and we broke up,
I broke up with somebody and there was a period of time
when there was a lot of emotions that I was running through
and I was going through.
And what made it easier was actually one article
that I read, and it was an article
that was on the letting go and meaning.
That's what it was.
It was on letting go and meaning.
And it said, this one thing
that really changed at all for me
and made it much easier for me to understand this.
And it was also when I was learning about attachment as well
and how being attached to something was,
and how that causes resistance.
But what it said is that when it comes to breakups
and the vibration of breakups,
what makes them hard and challenging
is that what we feel like we've lost,
is we've lost a sense of meaning.
Think about that.
The person that we were with meant something to us.
There was a meaning that we gave to them,
there was a reflection that we gave to them,
and that meaning is something that was on autopilot,
that meaning was something that we set
when we got into a relationship with them,
and if we find it hard to let go of the person,
it's because we don't wanna let go of the meaning.
Sometimes this means that we don't wanna let go
of the potential of who they could have been.
We don't wanna let go of the story
we tell ourselves about that person.
For me, the belief that I had was the past last person
and a relationship that I was with, like two years ago,
this person I had very deep connection with.
And I told myself this thing
that I won't find somebody else this deep.
I won't, this is the deepest connection I've had of, of yet.
So if I were to let this go,
I'm letting go of that part of myself.
And I told myself that, and it kept me attached
because there's a payoff to being attached.
The payoff is that it feels safe.
A payoff is like an emotional kickback
that we get from what we do.
And a lot of times it's a negative thing
but we're not aware of it,
so we continued to do it.
So once I became aware that of the story
I was telling myself
that this is the deepest thing I'll ever have,
and that if I let that go,
I'm letting go of a part of myself.
It then made it a lot easier to let go
because I could see that I was generating the meaning.
That's one of the secrets of this reality, by the way.
Everything has no built-in meaning
other than the meaning we give it.
And when we set meaning on something in the past
or in relationship what makes it challenging to let go
is the payoff we get
or the sense of certainty we get from that.
Now here's the thing.
Many of us from our relationships
are replaying similar childhood dynamics
over and over again and we don't even know it.
Here's what another thing
that made the breakup much easier for me
I realized that that dynamic
was very similar to a childhood dynamic
of with me and my mom, because when I was younger,
it was like my mom was going through a lot of things
and I felt like there was this emotional unavailability
that was there.
She had the same thing when she was a kid, by the way.
It's funny how these things tend to work in patterns.
But basically what I found out that I did
is I did attract people that were emotionally unavailable.
And what would happen is from attracting that
then I would constantly feel like I had to prove myself.
And the game changer for me was realizing
that this is the exact energy dynamic from my childhood.
I'm trying to prove myself to somebody
or I'm trying to fix them so that then they can love me.
These patterns that we have in relationship,
we actually get addicted to them.
I was addicted to the feeling of, if I can help this person,
if I can fix them, then they'll love me.
And it's like, I'm trying to do that
to my childhood as well.
And the thing, an important thing to remember
with this process is that when it comes down to this,
when it comes down to breakups in general,
if you and somebody else broke up,
if they broke up with you
or you broke up with them realize the breakup
and the loss of that meaning that you are letting go of
all because it didn't work out,
doesn't mean you're not worthy.
It does not mean you need to feel shame.
The vibration of many breakups
is that people are afraid of breaking up
because they're afraid that it means
there's some level of shame
or there's something wrong with you.
There's nothing wrong with you.
I realized that what I felt is I felt shame
when I was a kid, I felt like I was broken.
There was something wrong with me.
And if I could just prove myself to the feminine,
then finally I'd be enough.
And what I had to do is I had to go through a process
of embodiments, of getting in my own body
and separating my stuff from my mom's stuff
my stuff from my ex's stuff and as I did that,
I realized this does not have anything to do with me.
The mom's stuff had nothing to do with me.
The emotional availability had nothing to do with me.
The divorce when I was five years old
had nothing to do with me.
It wasn't because I wasn't worthy or enough.
It just was but shame is an identity based emotion.
And when you start to realize that you are worthy,
that you can let go of the shame,
you can let go of the identity,
you then start to become free.
As I started to do that,
I started to see new opportunities in my life.
I started to do attracted deep relationships,
people that I could see myself going deep with
and then I have attracted love that is just feels so good
and I can see now that I had to let go in order to allow in.
And the same thing is true for you
but it's realizing that shame, that emotion,
it does not have to do with you and your identity.
Some people are afraid.
I was talking to somebody else
that went through a breakup recently
and she's like, "Well, what do I do
"if he finds somebody else?"
Well, she broke up with him and it's a mutual breakup.
If he finds somebody else,
it doesn't make you any less worthy.
Does it mean that you weren't good enough
but this other person is.
Doesn't mean that at all.
Maybe that person found somebody else
that's going to keep replaying the same patterns
over and over again maybe.
And if they play that same patterns over and over,
that's a better match for them now.
Maybe you're not willing to play the games any longer.
But for me, I had to realize a lot of the childhood.
So what relationships reflect back to me.
But I realized that what makes breakups hard
is letting go of meaning.
And when you realize that you can have deep meaning
with somebody else, you always find somebody, by the way
that's a reflection of the depth of who you are.
I found somebody that I had a deep connection with
because I was going deeper within myself.
I was more on my purpose,
so I found somebody that was on their purpose.
I was more in my authentic vibration.
They were more than their authentic vibration,
but as I've gone, even deeper,
it's like there's new reflections of that depth
and then you can go deep with somebody at that level.
So you see, this is all about understanding the vibration.
Breakups is about understanding the vibration
of letting go of meaning.
And you can recreate that same meaning with somebody else
and even deeper.
That's all that is.
And the reason it is hard to let go of meaning
is because you're afraid if you let go of that meaning,
you're not gonna be able to bring in the new meaning
with somebody else
but the universe works in very mysterious ways,
but I will tell you,
it's very challenging to bring something new in
until you let go of the old.
And letting go of this is key,
letting go of those meanings, letting go of that attachment.
Maybe even the addiction to trying to fix somebody else
because it reminds you of the childhood.
Now, something that we are gonna be doing
from July 1st to July 21st
is I'm gonna be going live 21 days in a row.
We're gonna be going through a process
for letting go of our old beliefs about love,
letting go of codependent patterns on love,
letting go of the attachment styles,
anxious or avoidant attachment, how to become more secure.
We're gonna be letting go of the blocks we have to love
to wire in a new vibrational us that is at the level of love
and has magnetic energy to attract love easier than ever.
And this is a process we're gonna go through
with accountability.
There's a high vibe tribe group.
When you join, you become a high vibe member of the tribe.
And right now is the best time to join.
You get two bonuses when you join and enrollment is open.
So click the link below, join this challenge.
We are gonna be going through this process.
I can't wait, it's gonna be so powerful.
And there's two bonuses.
One is with my shadow work integration coach,
who I've never really shared on my channel before,
his name's Doug, he's amazing.
He's gonna be doing a live call
on masculine and feminine polarity and energy,
how to take down your masculine shield,
your feminine shield,
and how to align and integrate within yourself.
That'll be a live call.
And then there's also a call with my friend,
a dating coach Mat, his name's Mat.
And he is gonna be talking about attachment styles
and things, how to become more secure
in your attachment style and answering questions.
And right now you can join at the lowest price
you'll ever see it as well.
And if you're in on this,
comment below and say, I'm in.
If you wanna become a high viber, this is the time to do it.
We're all on this journey of raising our vibration
and tapping into the vibration of love or above
on the inside out.
As you begin to go through this process,
it will change the way people respond to you,
it will change how you feel about yourself
and it is so powerful.
So I can't wait.
So anyways, click the link below
or go to aarondoughty.com/love, aarondoughty.com/love.
Join the 21 day magnetic love challenge write me out
and I'll see you guys on the inside.
As always, I'll talk to you guys in the next video,
peace, much love and namaste.