[thunderclaps]
-I sure do appreciate you boys volunteering to look after my
remarkably creepy hotel. -Are you kidding?
This place is "a-maize-ing." [laughs]
-Yeah. Should be terrifying.
-I'm with Pear. Little scared.
Hey, no jokes. -Aw, come on, guys.
This place is just what I need to finish my novel,
The Grape Gatsby.
-Well, that's a coinkidink. My last caretaker was a grape.
-[nervously]: Uh... was?
-Yes, but by the end of the first week,
he'd shriveled into something else entirely.
-What? Like a raisin?
-Worse-- a crazin!
-[babbling maniacally]
-FYI, the dining room is wicked-haunted,
and you probably want to steer clear of it altogether.
-(both) Huh?! -Come on now, Crazin.
Let's get you to the nuthouse.
Later, fellas. -[babbling maniaclly]
[grunts]
-So... I'm having second thoughts.
-Orange too. I think he already left.
-(Orange) Hey! Hey, guys, hey!
You wouldn't believe the size of this dining room!
-Gulp? -I'm gonna go with double-gulp.
[thunderclaps, spooky music plays]
[scream]
So far, so good.
We're one day in and nobody's gone crazy.
-(Pear) Speak for yourself.
-All work and no play make Jack a dull toy.
All work and no play make Jack a dull toy.
[laughs]
-Shouldn't you be typing your novel?
-Type? I don't have any hands. That's why I'm dictating it.
Siri, read chapter one back to me.
-(Siri) All work and no play makes Jack a dull toy.
[Orange laughs, Pear grumbles]
-Ridin' my three-wheeler, ridin' along.
Ridin' through the hallway as I make up this song.
-(both, eerily) Come play with us.
-Whoa! Hey, where'd they go?
-(both) Come play with us, Midget Apple.
-[startled yelp] I prefer Little Apple.
-(both) Come play with us.
-Okay, look, I'm gonna open my eyes now,
and I want both of you to be gone, okay?
Okay?
-(both) Come play with us!
-[screaming in horror]
-Dude, I'm a little worried about Midget Apple.
-Just a little? [laughs]
-No, seriously, take a look.
-"Red rum"? I don't get it.
-Hello. That's "murder" spelled backwards.
-Um, actually, I wrote that.
I'm literally a bottle of red rum.
-Uh, okay. But why write it on the wall?
-'Cause I've got an attitude problem, man.
Any more brain-busters?
-Actually, yeah. Why are you here?
-Oh, that's 'cause I'm a ghost,
and if you can see me, that means you're going insane.
[both scream]
-Dude, look at this picture.
-Hey, those are the twin pops I met.
-And there's Red Rum.
-And... is that the Kool-Aid Man?
-Oh, it gets weirder. Look at the back row.
-Whoa... that's us.
[thumping] -Uh... do you hear that?
[thumping continues] -Huh? Hear what?
-Heeere's Orange! [laughs crazily]
[both screaming]
What? It was an ax-ident. [laughs]
-[whimpers] We've been running all day from Orange.
I can't take it anymore!
-There, the elevator. We have to get to it before--
-It's closing! Oh no! -(Pear) Oh no!
-YOLO! [laughs]
-Oh no! -Oh yeah!
Oh no.
[Pear and Midget Apple scream]
-Aah! Hey, not cool, man.
[laughs] Get it? Cool man?
[screams]
-And that's pretty much the end of it.
Little Apple and I barely made it out in one piece.
-Well, you guys seem like you're doing all right now.
-I don't know.
Sometimes I feel like we'll never be the same.
-(Orange) Tell me about it.
This is the worst case of Kool-Aid tongue I've ever had.
[laughter]
Ax! -Oh!
-Hey-hey, fruit-ballers! If you love Fruit Carnage,
you're gonna love my new video game Splatter Up!,
available on iTunes and Google Play now!
Smack fruit all over the kitchen
to get high scores and awesome food kills.
Download it now and see if
you can knock my high-score out of the park! [laughs]
Captioned by StreamCaptions.com
[laughs] Knife!