-Welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show."
That's it. You're here. Thank you for watching.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well, you guys, this morning -- I don't know if saw --
legendary actor, Captain Kirk himself,
William Shatner, went to space aboard
Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin rocket.
Yep. The launch was supposed to be yesterday,
but it was delayed, which explains why
this was painted on the side of the rocket.
There you go, yeah.
Ah, I get it.
Shatner was joined by three other passengers.
He was with the team that went into space there.
Shatner's the second old guy this month
to risk his life in a tracksuit.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, after he landed,
Shatner talked to Bezos about the experience,
and he really had a lot to say.
This real. Listen to this.
-But to see the blue cover go whip by.
And now you're staring into blackness, into black ugliness.
And you look down, there's the blue down there,
and the black up there.
But what you see is black. -Mm-hmm.
-And what you see down there is light.
Is there death? I don't know.
Was that death?
Is that the way death is in the moment?
-This is life. -This is life, and that's death.
And, in an instant, you go, "Whoa!
That's death."
[ Laughter ]
-Wow.
-Bezos was like, "So, did you like the trip?
I mean...
Yeah, that's death."
-Yeah.
-Wow. He really kind of went there.
You could have said like, "Oh, it was cool, man."
Yeah. "Is this life, and that's death?"
-Could have just said, "Thank you."
-"I don't know, yeah."
Did he go to space or did he get his wisdom teeth removed?
I have no idea.
Even in the middle of an empty desert,
Bezos felt like he was cornered at a party.
He was like, "Yeah, yeah, cool, cool, yeah, yeah.
Someone help me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, good."
But everyone was excited about Shatner's trip.
And I noticed that some local news anchors
used it as a chance to bust out their best Shatner impressions.
Watch this.
-Welcome back.
It's now time for your entertainment news.
-Let's get to this morning's headline.
-There's something on the wing!
-My gosh, Spock! I'm going to space.
-Let's hope he lives long and prospers.
Can you do that? -Mm-hmm.
-No, I can't. -Okay, okay.
[ Laughter ]
-"Can you do that?" "No I can't."
God help us if
Christopher Walken ever goes to space.
[ As Walken ] You know, actor Christopher --
[ Normal voice ] Yeah.
All those weathermen were like,
"You guys get your weather from your phones anyway.
Just let us have a good time. Please?"
Hey, I read that the FDA just authorized
e-cigarette products for the first time ever.
Yeah, it was a big win for all three people
waiting for FDA approval to start vaping.
"FDA says it's good? Alright, then. Fine. Charge it.
Alright, we'll start tonight."
In just a few months, they went from,
"Get vaccinated 'cause life is precious"
to "Smoke 'em if you got 'em."
Yeah, it's been a busy week for the FDA.
Today, they released new guidance
that's aimed at drastically cutting
the amount of salt in the food we eat.
In related news, McDonald's said,
"Eh, that's gonna be a problem."
Meanwhile, I saw that the head of Europe's
top meat processor said that, due to climate change,
beef will eventually become a "luxury product."
In related news, McDonald's said,
"Eh, that's not gonna be a problem."
Real roller coaster of a day for McDonald's.
Yeah, beef will become a luxury product.
Right now, your uncle with a freezer full of Steak-umms
is like, "Well, who's the freakin'
financial wizard after all, huh?
FDA-approved,baby!"
And, finally, in Canada, a Coca-Cola superfan
just set the world record for his collection
of over 11,000 different Coke cans.
Sure, he can be famous for that
or he could just recycle them
and cash it in for 10 whole dollars.
We have a great show, everybody.
Give it up for The Roots!
-♪ It's the man you better know and love ♪
♪ Whether you disapprove or y'all showin' love ♪
♪ My appreciation this is but a token of ♪
♪ Brace yourselves, the sky about to open up ♪
♪ Emergency, surprise, open-heart surgery ♪
♪ The way I stole the show won't involve burglary ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-What a show we have for you tonight.
They are the writers of the new film "The Last Duel,"
in theaters this Friday.
Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Nicole Holofcener
are here tonight!
[ Cheers and applause ] -Come on!
-Plus, she is the co-founder and creative director of
Victoria Beckham Beauty.
Victoria Beckham is here.
[ Cheers and applause ]
We love Victoria Beckham. -Come on.
-We're playing a game tonight that we haven't played
in a while, and I'm really kind of upset about it and nervous.
-What is it? -Remember "Can You Feel It?"
-Oh, when you -- -Yes.
-You hate that game.
-I don't enjoy that game at all, 'cause I get nervous.
You put your hand in a box, and you don't know
what you're touching, but the audience
can see what you're touching.
-And they don't go easy on you.
I think, one time, wasn't there like
tarantulas or something like that?
-No, yeah, one time, it was your head, and you bit me.
-Yeah. I did bite you.
-Your head was there, and you bit my hand.
Yeah. That's right.
Why would do that to me?
But, anyway, that's happening tonight.
I'm just kind of nervous anyway. But Victoria Beckham is here.
We're going to go through it together.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Then we have an in-studio performance from
Holly Humberstone!
[ Cheers and applause ] -Whoa!
-We love her. She's great.
I should talk about -- I'm very excited about this.
I talked about this earlier in the week.
But I have two shows that I produced,
'cause I'm a producer now.
-Oh, yeah. -Mm-hmm.
And so, I -- One premiered tonight on E!
It was called "Clash of the Cover Bands,"
where it's, like, two --
[ Cheers and applause ]
Two cover bands get in the ring, and fight each other.
Musically. -Musically, not physically.
-Of course not. I'm a man of love and peace.
-Yeah, peace.
-So, they come and they battle, musically,
and you see who wins.
It's like U2. Anyway, it's a good show.
But this is the big deal now.
Tomorrow, streaming on Peacock...
[ Drumroll ]
..."The Kids Tonight Show," tomorrow.
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
So, this is it.
These, like, four really adorable, really cute kids
are hosting a version "The Tonight Show"
just for kids.
So any parents out there that want something
to show your kids or your family,
it's 15-minute little bits of a show called
"The Kids Tonight Show."
And they talk to everybody -- JoJo Siwa.
They talk to an astronaut. They talk to Charli D'Amelio.
It's super-fun.
It's like our show, except they're just younger.
-Yeah.
-All you have to do is, you have to have Peacock.
So, if you don't have Peacock, I'm gonna make it easy.
Anyone who's --
'Cause kids watching have their phones right now.
So just aim your phone at the screen.
This will take you to a thing called Peacock.
And then you'll type in your e-mail.
It's free.
So you can watch everything for free.
So right now, if you go on Peacock,
yeah, there's two episodes waiting.
But we're gonna -- Yeah, so, you can -- Yeah.
And show the kids.
And kids should see other kids and look up to other kids
and go, "Yeah, I can do that."
-Come on!
-Kids, don't watch tonight when I touch something
and get a little nervous, 'cause -- Yeah.
-Don't watch that. -Oh, you know what?
I've been thinking about this all day.
I saw a headline earlier that kind of confused me.
-Really? -Yeah.
It said, "Baby cereal sold only at Walmart
recalled for too much arsenic."
[ Laughter ]
Now, fortunately, no one was hurt,
but it brings us to a segment we like to call
"Uhh...I Have Some Questions."
-♪ Uhh...I have some questions ♪
-Okay, so, you say the baby cereal was recalled for
"too much arsenic."
So the first question is,
isn't any arsenic "too much" arsenic?
Or is someone in a lab going, "Only 0.2 ounces of arsenic.
We're in the clear"? [ Laughter ]
"Baby will never taste it."
Wait, how do you even realize that there was arsenic
in the first place?
Like, did some baby not like
the cereal, so the parents tried it and they're like,
"Hey, this tastes like arsenic. Honey, get --"
[ Laughter ] And are those parents okay?
Wait, wait, wait, back up. What even is "baby cereal"?
Is it cereal for babies or just smaller cereal?
[ Laughter ]
Is it like Cheerios but lowercase O's?
[ Laughter ]
Also, since when did babies start eating cereal?
Did babies suddenly grow teeth?
And if so, is it because of all the arsenic in their cereal?
[ Laughter ] I just have so many questions.
I'm gonna need to take time.