- He has a great beard, amazing smile.
I could do without the tattoos,
but it's 2018, you're gonna get those
laser removed later in life.
You'll regret them.
I'll give him a good seven.
(cautious music)
- Hi, I'm Karlos.
- Physically, I'm into my husband (laughs).
I don't know. You got to be like my height.
I can't be with a mini-me.
I prefer larger than me, but...
- Oh, gosh.
You said this was gonna be fun.
(group laughs)
- Yeah, but the internet doesn't consent.
(group laughs)
They come with pitchforks and fire.
Hi, man, how are you? Karlos, nice to meet you.
- Parker. - What do you think you are?
- I think I'm a 10. - Wow, you're confident.
- Because my mom tells me that.
- Well, I disagree with your mom.
I think you're about a seven.
- Okay (laughs).
- I give him seven
because he's kind of on the shorter side.
If he was like 6'2", he'd be a good nine and a half.
But yeah, I think he's a good seven.
Hey man. - Hey, how's it going?
- How are you? - Good, how are you?
(Karlos laughs) Doing good?
- Has anyone ever told you you look like,
who was it from Scooby-Doo? - Shaggy?
- Yep, you look like Shaggy with a bowl cut.
(group laughs) What's your name?
- Karston. - Karston?
Is that with a C or a K? - It's with a K.
- Ooh, I like K names. (clapping)
- Yeah. - I'm Karlos with a K.
I like Karston. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. - Cool, okay.
See, that just upped his attractiveness.
I would say a strong eight.
Yeah, I would give Karson a good eight.
He's cute. I like Shaggy.
Karlos. - I'm Jade.
- I would give her, like,
just looking at you, she's like myself
if we were models. (laughs)
So, I would physically give her a 10,
but titties are just big. (Jade laughs)
Which is not a bad thing.
I personally as a gay man,
I don't like breasts.
But no, I give you a good nine - Thank you.
- Because I like everything about you.
You got the whole package. - Thank you.
- We would make a great couple.
- We would. - Look at this.
Karlos. - Erik.
- Erik? I start everybody at 10,
and I start reducing. - Okay.
(group laughs)
- Just for me, personally, I like, like I was saying,
I like a little bit taller.
So, I knocked you down three points.
- Okay. So, you're at a seven.
So, started at 10, - But that's something that
- That's seven. - I can't control, you know.
- Life (laughs). - It is life, but...
- I don't particularly like your septum ring,
so I brought it down to a five.
- Damn. - What do you do?
- I am a graphic designer.
- Okay, that means you got a good job,
six and a half. (group laughs)
- It's like a system, you know?
I'm not just being like, "You're ugly. You're not."
I'm just breaking it down to a--
- I got a system.
I'm gonna give you a strong seven.
- Okay.
- Would do you do for a career?
- Ah, I'm a stay-at-home mom.
- Nope. Five.
I'm just-- - Oh!
- I'm just playing (laughs). - No (laughs).
- I'm sticking with seven.
Thank you for meeting me today.
- Yeah. - Can I give you a hug?
- Yes. - Nice to meet you.
Hi, Karlos. - Karlos, I'm Braden.
- He reminds me of Rico Suave.
Rico. You know Rico Suave? - Yeah.
- Suave.
Braden, what do you do for a living?
- I'm a dancer. - Are you?
Do you do like go-go dancing?
- No. - If you say,
"I'm a dancer." My mind automatically goes
to stripper or go-go dancer.
- Hip-hop dancer.
I also can do tap.
- Boo, you can do tap dancing?
I'm gonna give you a seven. - Thank you.
- (laughs) Nice to meet you, Braden.
- Nice to meet you, Karlos. - I might see you
at the Goodwill. - Okay, yeah.
- Because it just seems like we shop at the same place.
- I was starting everybody at 10.
- Okay. - And you can go up or down.
- How are-- - I can go up? (laughs)
- Or no, you can't-- - I was like,
I'm going for that 13. (group laughs)
- She has a great personality.
I don't like your hair style though.
A six. - Thank you.
- Love you. - Love you.
- She's like, this nigga just gave me a six.
(group laughs)
As a gay man, like instantly attracted to him
because he meets all my criteria,
but there are some things that I don't like.
- Okay. (claps) - You got knocked down
to an eight because of your shoes.
- Ooo.
- Do you have a 401k?
- Yeah.
- You have retirement?
- Yeah.
- You have life insurance?
- (laughs) Yeah.
- I'm gonna leave him at a strong nine.
(claps)
Alright. That was an easy one.
How old are you?
- I am 28.
- Okay.
- Are those your real freckles?
- They are my real freckles. - Aw.
I think she's kinda cute, actually.
I think she's like a good seven.
Thank you.
Hi, man.
- Hey.
- How are you? - I'm good. How are you doing?
- I'm hanging in there.
Off the top, you look like Thor had kids
and became a dad.
- I'm Thor's kid.
- No, no. You're Thor. - Oh, okay.
- Who just let himself go.
(group laughs) - Okay.
- Because you have long Thor hair
and you have ice blue eyes,
I'm gonna stick you at a 10.
- Okay. - But then
it starts to get bad.
Just off of personality-wise,
I'm gonna bring you down to about a nine.
I think you just-- - Not into the personality?
- I just think you could be a little more outgoing.
- Yeah. - I just think you kind of
agree with everything.
- No.
- (laughs) See, I was just waiting for an "okay".
You got a spot on your jeans, - Yeah.
- Your boots are crusty.
- I use my clothes.
- Are you a construction worker?
- No. (laughs)
- Then I'm just confused. - No, no, no. It's fair.
- Why would you be dressed like this
on just like a normal day?
I'm gonna give retired Thor a seven.
- Cool, cool. - I'm gonna give him a seven.
Thanks man, have a good one.
- You take care. - Appreciate it.
- I think it was pretty good.
I didn't give anybody below a five
because I just think that's rude. (laughs)
- I was being honest. I was.
I think that they were all attractive in their own way.
- Okay. That'll be easy.
I already got the line up in my head.
Come on in. Line up. (group chattering)
Come here, Thor.
(group laughs)
- Where were you going?
- Oh, you're going to one. (group laughs)
Come with me. You're going to ten.
- Yeah. - Number nine.
Come to number eight. Scoot it down.
Ten, nine, eight... You gonna stay at seven.
You're at six.
You switch with her, you're at five.
My dear, you switch with her.
I have an issue right here.
I'm not confident with my middle three.
- Seven, six, five.
The reason you're not up at like nine and ten
is because I know he's straight
and I won't have access to that so I ain't even
gonna put that on my chart. (group laughs)
I like Shaggy a lot.
You're gonna go behind this, sir. Shaggy.
You'll go behind him - Ooh.
- And then you'll go right here.
- Okay.
- As you can see,
I prefer taller people because all of the...
(group laughs)
Height's a big.
- Thor, we talked about this. (group laughs)
- Put myself in the line?
(group laughs)
- This is where I would stand if I was in this line.
Sorry guys, I'm cuter than y'all.
- Okay.
- Uh huh.
- Oh.
(group laughs)
Oh, get out of there.
(group laughs)
You're going down here. I don't like beards.
Actually, you go to number one.
I would make out with you, I just don't...
I just wouldn't be in a relationship with you.
Actually, Mom, you switch with Shaggy.
I would make out with Mom.
(group laughs) As you can also see,
I'm attracted to people of color.
Like, it makes sense. Like look.
As it goes down... Yeah.
- Yep. This is my kiss list.
This is my kiss list right here.
- Actually, I learned a lot about myself.
I learned that I'm always gonna choose
people of color who are usually taller
and that's literally who I'm attracted to
because I don't know, I just don't like short people.
Like attractively.
(applause) Thank you all. Don't hate me.
(group laughs)