The following is a fan-based parody Naruto & Naruto Shippuden are owned By Viz Media and Mizashikishimoto please support the official release.
A long long time ago in a forest far far away,
Uh there was this fox thing tearing down trees, and these ninjas were trying to stop it and,
Shit I don't know man.
Hold the attack and wait for the Fourth Hokage.
If only there was a baby we could seal this beast inside.
Great idea guys!
Noooo!
[Crying]
Gosh that was a great idea.
[Music playing]
[Giggles] Come on too easy.
[Sound effects]
Omph, Iruka Sensei? Holy fucking shit what's your problem man?
This is the last time Naruto I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson.
[Moaning]
Iruka Sensei please stop Iruka Sensei let me go Iruka Sensei!
Oh thank God, it was just a dream.
[Yawns] I gotta stop eating ramen before bed.
[Music playing]
[Gulping expired milk]
[Music playing]
[Gulping expired milk]
[Music playing]
Milk.
[Farts]
[Sound effects and music]
And I've got a blank space baby and I'll write your name.
Sakura stich your whore mouth and leave.
Okay I will mom.
[Thunder]
What a fucking drag!
[Music playing]
I'm not a small academy student anymore. I am Sakura, kunoichi in training daughter of Mebuki and Kizashi Haruno, Member of team Kakashi even though it is yet to be established in the plot.
[Music playing]
There's Sakura, come on Ino say something cool say something sassy.
[Music playing]
Hey Sakura, you're a loser because I can walk faster than you. What the hell was that?
[Music playing]
[Sound effects]
[Grunting]
Fuck you.
I win, no I win, no I wi-
[Music playing]
Wait, where are you going? We were synchronizing!
Hi, Sasuke, since I got here first am I worthy enough for your love?
Um Actually, I got here first everyone saw it.
No, I got here first.
Well, I got here before all of you.
Why do we all sound the same? I don't know. [some students start to chatter]
[Chatter turns into screaming in Sasuke's head]
Hmm, It seems as though Sasuke is gettin' some puss.
Um, Lord third?
Ya know he's getting some...Puuuuuusssss
What?
Some puuuuuuuussssssssssss aaahhhh.
He's high.
Damn right.
Hey, so Sasuke, Why are these girls so obsessed with ya?
Girls like guys who convey lots of emotions, so logically by sitting here quietly, I am naturally drawing attention.
That makes no sense whatsoever.
But it's working isn't it.
What the hell are they doing?
You actually look kind of handsome.
Thanks, you don't look half bad either.
Do you wanna kiss?
It's like you're reading my mind.
Hey, I get that.
[Music playing]
We are so meant for each other.
We have to play it off, okay?
Make it seem like we didn't like it keep the illusion alive.
Agreed
God, Sasuke your mouth tastes like rotten fish!
Your mouth tastes like Sakura's forehhead!
[Thunder]
What?
[Explosion sounds]
I think Sasuke actually has a crush on me!
[Explosion sounds]
All right kids settle down, it's time to put you guys into your squads
All right, team one Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, shit wrong papers
Iruka Sensei, Naruto and Sasuke kissed and Sakura's totally in love with Sasuke
Well in that case, team Seven is Naruto, Sakura.
Yay!
And Sasuke.
Yes!
No
[Thunder sounds]
And true love conquers all
[Screaming in Sasukes head]
What the hell, I'm so jealous.
What do you even seeing that guy?
I just want him inside me Shikamaru.
What?
[Chatter and screaming in Sasuke's head]
Squad 10 Ino, Shikamaru and that fat guy
[Choji munching on chips]
You'll meet your teachers after lunch class dismissed
Sasuke where are you? Let's have lunch together and get to know each other.
Hey Sakura I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch together and get to know each other.
Uh, sorry Naruto, I'm busy.
Sasuke, let's have lunch together and get to know each other.
All right guys, the only way we're gonna succeed is if we follow my lead, so Shikamaru shut the fuck up
Whatever, that's the only way it'll work 'cause she'll throw a fit if she doesn't get her way
[Farting]
Huh?
[Farting continues]
Naruto? What's that moron doing?
[More farting]
Huh!?
Oh my God if he gets so much as a scratch on Sasuke I swear I'll-
Holy fuck these chips are amazing
Shut the hell up Choji
Gosh if only there was someone that I could eat lunch with and get to know, huh Sasuke?
[Music playing]
Sakura,
Your forehead is so wide it is incredibly large, large to the point of being a neck,
Your forehead is so big it could be an entire separate body part, your forehead is larger than life,
Larger than any author could describe.
Yeah, there's lots of room up there kiss me,
If only I wasn't in my head.
Sakura,
Your forehead is fucking humongous, tell me something,
What do you think about Naruto?
He's annoying
Sasuke, I honestly just want you to do the doodly-doo with me
You want me to do the doodly-doo?
Yes I doodly-doo Sasukaroo.
Yes, now that I've defeated Sasuke, I can use my transformation jutsu to disguise myself
Wait but I'm Naruto
Yes, I don't see your point.
So if I'm Naruto, why would you have to transform into yourself?
Wait, but I thought I was Naruto?
You are you, and I am me, do you need to go back to first grade Sasuke?
Wait if I am me?
Then you are Naruto.
No,
I am a log.
So if you're a log than who are they?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I still don't know who I am.
Oh man Sakura's gonna kiss me, come on Naruto be cool, be cool
[Farting]
[Groaning]
Shit, I have to tell Sakura what I did,
We're in the same team, so I guess it's only logical for us to try and become friends, yeah good thinking Naruto good thinking
[Farting]
I've been rejected by so many guys today, first Naruto
Hey what!
And then Sasuke,
That was me too!
I feel like the only true way I can express my emotions is through songs.
I want Sasuke to love me,
I want Naruto to go away-
[Explosion sounds]
Shit, I haven't found any of Naruto's weed other than that one plant back there, and it's not even dank.
Lord third, that's not weed, that's a shrub.
This milk is way past expired,
You can hear the chunks swishing around in there,
Naruto's probably dropping chunks like crazy.
A-