Recently a Friend of mine told me a secret
and I hate secrets
Knowing a secret is like a door to another universe
opening up with monsters flying out trying to destroy my life
*Monster noises*
Okay now you're just being dramatic
I'm not being dramatic because I've made a career out of expressing myself online
By over-sharing my experiences and my thoughts
So, I am not a good choice to confide your questionably moral secrets to
I mean besides the fact that I will inevitably make a video about it
the whole time I feel like a walking bomb!
Hey Anna, what's up?
I can't tell you
Why what's wrong?
SHUT UP and GO AWAY!
Jesus, ok, sorry...
No! Wait, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Ok.
Ok, you can't tell anyone.
No Anna DON'T!
I can't keep holding this in!
What is going on?
*Screaming*
I'm not the only one who feels like this, right?
I mean having a secret stresses me out!
It's physically exhausting, you have to carry it with you wherever you go
To lunch
*Somber music*
To work
*Somber music*
To the bathroom
*Beans falling on tile*
and the whole time, I just want to spill the beans
*Rimshot*
I would make a terrible president...
Madam president, you can't just broadcast top secrets to the entire nation
BUT, if the president says it then it's not classified any more, Allen.
That's true ma’am but as your lead advisor I have to advise you not to do this
Yeah but, Jim everyone could know that their's aliens right now!
Imagine how many alien friends we could have right now!
There would be widespread panic!
I'm the widespread panic!
You have no idea how hard it is to know who assassinated JFK and not be able to talk about it
I have an entire book of secretz full of secrets that I can't tell anyone!
Like the contents of Area 51
Or the out takes for the moon landing
Or Obama's favourite fooooood...
Pizza, God he's so relatable
He's a great guy
To be clear, I am still keeping this a secret, ok, I don't intend to tell anyone
Because then I would be untrustworthy and none of my friends would want to tell me anything
So my lips *Zipper sound* are locked
Although I did accidentally tell somebody on facebook message about it, on accident
*Dramatic music*
It's been the worst though like all the screaming in this video is just kind of representative of all the internal screaming that I'm doing in real life
But what about you? Do you like keeping secrets?
Or are like me does it just stress you the fuck out? Yay!
I'm Anna Akana, stay awesome Gotham
I'd like to say thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring today's episode!
Don't tell them Anna!
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No Anna DON'T!
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*Screaming & Explosion *