INFJs seem to understand everyone and everything around them on an introspective level,
yet when it comes to others understanding the INFJ, it’s a much different story.
Although all they really desire is a deep and genuine connection,
this rare personality type is so misunderstood that it can feel like an impossible mission to
keep them satisfied as a romantic partner and sometimes even as a friend.
Welcome or welcome back Psych-o! Today we’ll be discussing why the INFJ is so difficult to
satisfy. But before we get into it.. have you liked and subscribed to our channel?
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Number 1: They hold everything (and everyone) to a very high standard
The intricate mind of the INFJ is both their best friend and their enemy. Since the INFJ’s
perfectionistic ways lead them to hold themselves and the things they do to such a high standard,
they can’t help but hold similar standards for their relationships, friendships,
and other connections that require a give and take of energy. INFJs have a fantasy-like expectation
of what they’re lives are supposed to look like, and how the people in their lives are supposed
to measure up. They have an innate idealism for their future outcomes, including their fairytale
standard of love. While INFJs prefer to hold high-expectation, the harsh reality is that life
is far from ideal, and the secret to a happy life is gratitude for the things they do have,
including the things that don’t quite measure up to their dream-like views of life.
Number 2: They are extremely hard on themselves Like we mentioned, INFJs hold themselves to a
very high standard when it comes to looks, performance, opportunities,
experiences, successes, and the list goes on. Since they are highly introspective and
analytical of every move they make in life, they tend to take on a lot of responsibility for the
outcomes of their actions. For example, if an INFJ got a 90% grade on a test,
they may be distracted from celebrating their amazing grade by the few questions they got wrong,
because they knew they could’ve done better. This makes it so that accomplishments
and achieved goals just don’t cut it for INFJ satisfaction because they are always calculating
how they could’ve done something different, or how they will do it differently for the future.
Number 3: They can easily overthink gestures In reality, INFJs love to know that people are
genuinely thinking of them. However, the challenge comes when an INFJ is uncertain whether or not
the gesture is genuine enough for them to take it for what it is rather than ruminate on it to find
an ulterior motive. For example, if an old friend reached out to an INFJ with a text message asking
how life is going, an INFJ may ask themselves “What has this person heard about my life that
made them want to reach out” or “I bet they don’t really care about what’s happening in my life,
they probably just want to ask for a favour”. While INFJs do enjoy a good connection with
someone, they can be extremely skeptical when it comes to other people showing interest in them
in any way, which makes for a difficult time trying to please or flatter an INFJ.
Number 4: They are stubborn when it comes to receiving compliments
Just like they overthink kind gestures, INFJs also find it considerably difficult to take a
compliment for what it is. Although most people can become shy and giggidy when receiving a
compliment, INFJs and a few other introspective personality types have a specially difficult time.
While this introverted personality type may take a compliment that they themselves believe to be
true, most of the time, the high expectations that INFJs hold for themselves make it difficult to
believe people when a complaint arises. In fact, if an INFJ feels considerably unconfident in their
looks at work one day, and a coworker compliments them on their appearance, they may automatically
resort to firstly, thinking that their coworker is being considerably ingenuine, and secondly,
questioning why their coworker would say such a thing when they know their not looking up to par.
All while in reality, the coworker was just simply saying how they felt.
Number 5: They like things in a certain organized manner
If you think you’re doing an INFJ the favour of cleaning out their car,
re-organizing their junk drawer, or redesigning their office space - don’t be surprised if the
INFJ seems slightly displeased by the results. Not only do INFJs have a certain working order
of how they like to organize their things, but you can bet that how they’ve organized their things
is exactly how they want them. They’re strategic in their organization, and although things may
seem chaotic at times for people on the outside looking in, they must know that INFJs have a
method to their madness. This means, although it may be out of the kindness of the heart,
a simple makeover or reorganization could send an INFJ completely out of focus.
Number 6: They don’t do well with surprises or change of plans
Sure, a nice spontaneous camping trip into the calmness of the woods could please an INFJ,
providing they know who is coming. But when it comes to surprise parties, unexpected social
events, or even the act of bringing someone new along to a close-knit get together can send an
INFJ into full panic mode. While this may be an act to encourage the INFJ to live a little,
and step outside their comfort zone, an INFJ would be too distracted by uncertainty and mental
preparing to appreciate the gesture for what it is. Not to mention, INFJs know that others don’t
require the same amount of mental preparation for changes in plans and surprises. So, while
they’re busy feeling all of these emotions on the inside, they may seem ungrateful or uninterested
on the outside because they can’t properly explain themselves to people who can’t relate.
Number 7: They’re not overly interested in the material world
Gift an INFJ an expensive purse and watch as they cringe behind their smile of gratitude
for the fact that they can see so many other ways they could’ve used that money.
INFJs march to the beat of their own drums and usually aren’t interested in following the fashion
trends or living the most extravagant lifestyle. While this may make them seem unemotional in the
act of receiving gifts and valuable things, in the end, all an INFJ really wants from the people
closest to them is a deep connection in which they can share their confusing reality with.
They’re much deeper than material things, and they understand the temporary happiness
that objects provide. Instead, a thoughtful INFJ gift would be a bouquet of self-picked
flowers or a heartfelt note expressing how valuable they are in someone’s life.
Number 8: They are distracted by future outcomes
INFJs have difficulty staying grounded in the here and now because they are so often distracted by
their inner worlds. The INFJ mind is constantly thinking up ideal future outcomes to the choices
and experiences they have in the moment. They are constantly questioning themselves and whether they
are making the right moves towards what they want in life - yet most of the time they’re not even
quite sure what it is they want. For example, if an INFJ got a promotion at work, instead of
celebrating their pay raise and additional benefits, they may be thinking “Do I really
want to be in the career for that much longer” or “Is this really where I want to see myself in a
year from now”. In other words, INFJs can ruin the celebratory moments in life by looking too
far ahead into the unknown, which makes it very difficult to feel satisfied in any area of life .
Number 9: They are constantly searching for a deeper meaning
The INFJ is deep.. Deep thinkers, deep analysis, deep questioners, and always on the search for
a deeper meaning to the world around them. Just as an INFJ searches for a deeper meaning behind
compliments and gestures, they’re also on an inner mission to find the deeper meaning
and purpose for their lives. Although these answers ultimately come through life experiences,
the INFJ can seem slightly dissatisfied throughout life because of this neverending
hunt for true meaning. While others may think they can fill that void by bringing romance,
rewarding careers, and experiences to an INFJ, ultimately they need to come to the
conclusion themselves that life is what you make it by learning while enjoying!
Number 10: They’re reluctant to open up
Lastly, and most importantly, INFJs are hesitant to open up about their own wants
and needs in fear of burdening others, seeming weirder than they already seem, or feeling
even further misunderstood. For example, if an INFJ is in a seemingly healthy relationship
where they are spoiled with gifts and grand gestures, yet all they really want is a raw
and real intimate connection, they will only stay dissatisfied for as long as they don’t
communicate their needs. Plus, since the highly empathetic INFJ avoids conflict at all costs,
they may hold off expressing themselves in relationships, friendships, and even
jobs in fear that they may be putting someone else down by making them feel inadequate - when
in reality, communication is the key to communal happiness for both the INFJ and their connections.
Well, that wraps up today’s video PSYCH-Os, So, are you an INFJ who would say they’re difficult
to please? Let us know in the comments below! Don’t forget to leave us a like,
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