- Hey Matt, we wanna lose just a little more faith
in humanity.
Oh, I'd be glad to help you out.
So, we live in a world that's not always logical.
In fact, it's usually not.
We've all heard the stories of at least one insane lawsuit
that has happened in the past.
Like, remember the story of the lady
that dropped McDonald's coffee on her lap
and sued the company because it was hot?
Yeah.
But, it happens a lot more frequently
than you would probably like to believe.
Wild allegations and downright laughable demands
have filled our court system for a long time,
and continue to do so.
In fact, some of the lawsuits that have taken place
are so outrageous and ridiculous,
that it's hard to believe that the plaintiffs
can take themselves seriously,
let alone a judge and jury.
So, get ready for this one,
because I gathered a list of lawsuits
that are just gonna make you go,
"Okay, yeah, this is the world we live in."
Here are the 10 Most Ridiculous Lawsuits Ever Filed.
Number one is Heckard versus Nike.
In 2006, Allen Heckard of Portland, Oregon
sued Michael Jordan and Nike for $832 million
on the grounds that his resemblance to the sports legend
and Nike's promotion of the star
resulted in emotional pain, suffering,
defamation, and permanent injury.
Of course, the lawsuit generated a huge media frenzy,
which in turn brought more unwanted attention
in Allen's direction.
Should have thought that one through.
The lawsuit continued, that was of course
until he realized the scope of the legal fees he would need
in order to take on Michael Jordan and Nike,
so Allen dropped the case.
Also, he should probably drop the one earring
and bald look, you know,
that's not helping your case, bud.
Number two is Kalkan versus Batman.
Back in 2008, Hussein Kalkan,
the mayor of a town in Turkey called Batman,
attended a screening of The Dark Knight.
You already know where this is going.
In the days following, he set out to sue Warner Brothers
and Christopher Nolan for name infringement,
psychological impact on the residents of the town,
and royalties.
In the official lawsuit, the mayor proclaimed
there is only one Batman in the world,
which was his defense of the lawsuit.
He spent his time hard at work
collecting evidence that his town's name
predated the original 1939 Batman DC comic,
but was then arrested for terrorism,
and the case was closed.
Fun fact that you all might wanna just write this one down.
If you're going to sue somebody,
or, you know, get involved in a lawsuit,
um, don't be a terrorist.
Generally speaking, it doesn't help your case.
Number three is Kemp versus The Homeless.
In 2007, Karl Kemp, the owner of a high-end antique shop
located on Madison Avenue in New York City,
sued the homeless for one million dollars.
Uh, Karl, do you know what homeless means?
Karl's court documents named the individuals
John Smith, John Doe, Bob Doe, and Jane Doe,
because he didn't know the homeless people's names.
The four people had actually built a home
on top of a heating duct on the sidewalk
in front of Karl's store
and had been living there for over two years.
But, Karl was persistent that something needed to be done
and took his court case to the Supreme Court,
who took his lawsuit and said,
"Ah, we are going to do absolutely nothing,
"because they're homeless
"and they're not breaking any laws."
And even if he won, what are they going to give him?
Certainly not a million dollars.
You know, maybe, blankets?
Blankets are good.
Number four is Riches versus NASCAR.
Jonathan Lee Riches, a former inmate in federal prison,
filed a $23 million lawsuit in 2007 against NASCAR,
claiming that they were responsible
for his 217 kilometer an hour speeding ticket.
Yeah, that's like me suing seals for being bald.
They're so slick, it inspired me.
But, uh, it didn't end there, because he also believed
that the marketing for NASCAR forced him
to commit credit card fraud,
and not surprisingly, his case was dismissed.
But, even that did not stop Jonathan,
because he also tried suing, for various reasons,
the Eiffel Tower, the planet Pluto,
former President George W. Bush, Martha Stewart,
Steve Jobs, Prez Hilton, Somali pirates,
and all of the survivors of the Holocaust.
Winner!
Each one of those cases was dismissed
and he has since been banned
from receiving legal aid in America.
This guy's a winner!
Ah, you're a winner, Jonathan.
All right, I bet you did great in grade school.
You're probably that kid that got a gold star
on every paper.
Well, that, or the one that ate mud and worms at recess.
I'm gonna go with the latter.
Number five is Craft versus MTV.
In 1997, Rob Craft legally changed his name to Jack Ass,
as part of a movement to raise awareness
about drinking and driving
after his brother died in an accident.
A noble effort, kind of misguided and weird,
but a noble effort.
Well, three years later, MTV's popular TV series
by the same name debuted,
and this didn't sit well with Mr. Ass.
He sued the show for $10 million in damages
for plagiarism and defamation.
Yeah, because the show totally based it off you, man.
You were just the inspiration.
His claim was that the crude stunt-based show
damaged his (clears throat) good name.
Unfortunately for Mr. Ass, the case was dismissed.
Mr. Ass, okay, yeah, that's a great choice of name, bud.
That's, uh, good luck getting a job, okay,
or at least for anything that doesn't require a couch,
and uh, the word casting in front of it.
All right.
Number six is Pearson versus The Dry Cleaner.
A Washington D.C. judge named Roy L. Pearson
had his pants misplaced by a neighborhood dry cleaner
in 2007.
You already know where this is going.
So, Mr. Pearson did what any logical person would do,
and sought compensation,
the only way that an overeducated lawyer knows how.
By filing a $67 million lawsuit
against the Ma and Pop store owners.
Ah, but he's a reasonable guy,
and he realized that $67 million was a little bit crazy,
so, he lowered it to 54 million.
How sweet of him.
Another judge, with some actual common sense,
ruled in favor of Soo and Jin Chung,
the owners of the store.
But the damage had already been done,
and the family business had to close their doors
in three locations due to the legal fees.
However, justice was served against Mr. Pearson,
because he was disbarred after a review board
deemed that he lacked appropriate judgment
and judicial temperament.
Also, he's a douchebag.
I think that was in his official release papers.
Number seven is Pimp versus Nike.
In 2013, a 26 year-old pimp named Sirgiorgiro Clardy
was sentenced to 100 years in prison
for stomping the face of a man
who attempted to flee payment on one of his prostitutes.
Ah, but see, this wasn't his fault, because at the time,
he was wearing a pair of Nike Air Jordans,
and later came to the conclusion
that if Nike had placed a warning sticker on the shoes,
warning him that they could be used as a deadly weapon,
he wouldn't have done what he did.
He tried seeking $100 million in restitution,
but three Nike lawyers met with him in court
and simply stated there's no defect with the shoes.
So, the case was thrown out.
Look, Mr. Clardy, I don't blame you at all.
I mean, that cane that you're using,
you know, if it does not increase your ability
to be a better pimp, then you should sue them too,
because you know you gots to have dat swagger,
it's part of the brand.
Number eight is Chiscolm versus the Bank of America.
Dalton Chiscolm decided back in 2009
that he had had enough of the Bank of America
and their customer service,
so he sued them for (clears throat)
$1.784 billion trillion.
No, seriously, that's the number he picked.
On top of this, he also demanded an additional
$200,164,000, just because.
Oh, and he wanted it all the next day.
'Cause, you know, that's reasonable.
Yeah.
A U.S. district court judge looked at it
and called the case incomprehensible,
and Dalton was laughed out of court.
Sorry, that's just the way that I imagine
all judges talk.
Incomprehensible.
Number nine is Grandma versus the RIAA.
Back in 2005, you guys might remember
that the Recording Industry Association of America
was trying to shut down music piracy,
so they decided to start suing people at random.
Remember they were suing college and university students?
That's a winning tactic.
There were 20,000 lawsuits filed
and one made its way to an 84 year-old Gertrude Walton,
who had downloaded and shared over 700 songs.
Just trying to be hip with the kiddies.
Defendants could be charged up to $150,000 per song,
meaning that she was in a lot of trouble,
except that after the lawsuit was filed,
it was discovered that Gertrude had died a year prior.
It was actually her niece that informed the RIAA
of her passing,
and that Gertrude didn't even own a computer.
The RIAA eventually dropped the case,
but they had bigger fish to fry.
You know, like the 12 year-old girl who they sued for $2000?
Hey, kid, better start selling some lemonade (laughs).
That's the way I imagine these fat cats talk.
And number 10 is Brock versus Himself.
In 1995, a Virginia prison inmate named Robert Lee Brock
sued himself.
His lawsuit read, "For violating my religious beliefs,
"I want to pay myself $5 million,
"but I ask the State to pay for it since I can't work."
He also promised that when released,
he would pay it back.
Oh, the honor system, sure, give him all the money.
Fortunately, the judge didn't feel
that the taxpayers needed to, you know,
further spend on his indiscretion,
and he was ushered out of court
and back to his cell.
Should have aimed a little bit lower, bro.
I mean, I get, it's smart, it's a good, it's smart,
it's a good try, but you know, should have been like,
you know, Imma be paid in sandwiches,
I'm just so hungry.
No, they might have given you a sandwich bro,
but aim a little lower next time.
Speaking of aiming a little lower, subscribe to my channel.
(laughing)
Just kidding.
No really, though, if you guys enjoyed this,
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I'll see you guys next video.
Bye.