Happy SaturKay, everybody.
It's my favorite day of the week.
Let's get right into a few of my favorite stories
circulating the webs.
Today's episode is all about health and fitness.
And the first up is Veygonce.
What is Veygonce, you ask?
Well, vegan plus Beyonce equals Veygonce.
Our fave Beyonce has challenged us to a healthy lifestyle.
And the prize may almost be worth it.
She's giving us a lifetime worth of free tickets to her
and Jay-Z's concerts for going vegan for a month.
I'm not even going to lie to y'all-- absolutely not--
I don't want to do it.
Ha.
Now, the fine print, reads, said you only
get one ticket to one concert per year for 30 years.
Well, what kind of lifetime guarantee is that?
Absolutely not.
Y'all, I'm a little confused now.
First of all, one ticket?
How am I suppose to go to a concert alone?
That ain't cute.
I need to go with a friend.
Second of all, the real important question
is, where is this ticket located?
Every time I've gone to a Beyonce concert,
I had been in the front row.
Why?
Because when she whips her wee, I
want to feel the sweat flop from the stage into my eye ball.
Nope, moving on.
For our final diet of the day, let's talk
about Tom Brady's diet.
As you know, the Patriots won yet another Super Bowl
championship.
And their fearless leader, Tom Brady,
has outlined his insane training diet for us.
He refers to it as the TB12 diet.
But I think a more suitable name is The 'No' Diet.
And here's why.
OK, first of all, it's no coffee, no alcohol,
no caffeine, no dairy, no cooking with olive oil,
which I thought that was the healthy option,
no iodized salt, no condiments.
[SIGHS] What you going to do without no sauce?
No white potatoes-- didn't even know there was different kind
of potatoes-- no gluten, no jam, no jelly--
that's the same damn thing--
and no nightshade vegetable.
Look, I can't even say that word, nightshade vegetable.
What the hell is that?
I find it pretty admirable that some people like to diet
and eat healthy.
And maybe one day I will too.
But for now, baby, I'm going to keep eating everything I want.
Listen, I will let you in on my secret workout routine on how
I stay right and tight.
Let's go.
Hi.
My name is Kalen Allen, And here are my top three
exercises to keep you and my body snatched.
First, attire.
From birth, I only really know how to slay.
So I prefer to dress like this during my workouts--
uh, uh.
But if basic is your choice, by all means, be basic.
Now, onto the workouts.
First, the shade-- extend your arm
and bend your elbow to properly place sunglasses
on your face like this.
This is a great workout for the biceps.
It makes muscles.
And it also protects you from the sun.
[LAUGHS] [SIGHS]
Exercise number two-- the heat.
Open the palm of your hand and fully extend
your fingers to wrap around the widest brim of a hot cup.
This one is a great strengthening exercise
for your tentacles.
Uh, ho.
And from there, you want to bring the cup
to the tip of your lips and sip.
[SLURP] Ah.
If there is too much heat, move your wrist away from your body
and set the cup down.
Last exercise-- the read.
Now, this is one of my favorites.
With one hand, hold the back of your phone with four fingers
and wrap the front with your thumb.
When you hear a ding--
ding-- shift your eyes from side to side like this.
[RING]
All read.
[DING]
This is great for muscle memory, especially,
if you have a lazy eye.
And that's how I stay fit.
If you're looking for results and would
like to hire me as your personal trainer,
please call 1-800-KalenTrainME.
You too can get snatched like K.
Now, baby, that is what I call a workout.
And since I'm giving you multiple options
on how to get right and tight, my job is done here.
Now, don't say I never taught you anything, OK?
See you, bye.
And I did it for free-- better be grateful.
[MUSIC PLAYING]