- In this video,
I'm going show you a really effective way
to develop your baby's communication skills.
This will help you to avoid a situation
where you have a toddler who only grunts
or screams to express their needs.
Now this strategy doesn't feel natural
and it is probably not something that you have tried
or heard of yet, but it's actually really easy to do
and you'll notice improvements straight away.
And if you already have a toddler
who is grunting and screaming,
this will also help to develop their communication skills
and break that habit.
Often a lack of communication skills
is a result of us being good parents
by anticipating their needs.
At first, this anticipation is required.
Your newborn cries and you anticipate their need for food,
your baby yawns and they become fussy
and you put them to bed,
or they drop a toy and you pick it up
and give it back to them
before they even have a chance to cry.
But as your child gets older,
if you continue to anticipate their needs,
you actually don't give them the opportunity
or create any incentive for them to communicate with you.
Often, it gets to the point
where you're actually anticipating
your babies and toddlers needs to avoid a tantrum
or a screaming child.
But by jumping in and giving them what they need
before they ask, you are actually perpetuating this problem
and leading to a baby or toddler who actually screams
or grunts to gain your attention and express their needs.
Now from around 9 to 10 months of age,
your baby will actually tell you things
by using babble, gestures, and eventually words.
And you really need to ensure that you foster
and encourage your baby or toddler to actually use sounds
and gestures rather than screaming and grunting
to express their wants and needs.
So how do you do it?
You pause!
I know it sounds really simple,
but pausing is one of the most powerful tools
that you can actually use to build your babies
and toddlers communication skills.
When you speak to your child,
they need time to actually process what you have said
as well as time to think about and produce a response.
And the amount of time they need
is actually significantly longer than we need as adults.
Language and communication is so new to them.
Essentially, they're learning a whole new language.
So just imagine you were learning another language
and your teacher said something to you in that language,
you would need time to think about
what each individual word means
and then you'd need time to think about
which words you are going to use to form a response.
The same applies to your child.
They need processing time.
And often as parents, we don't give them that time.
So for example, it might look something like this.
You might place your baby on the floor
and you know they're going want toys to play with.
So you anticipate that need
and give them a bag of toys right away.
But when you do that,
you are not giving your baby the opportunity to tell you
in their own way by using sounds, gestures,
like pointing or shaking their head,
using eye gaze, so either looking at you
or the item that they want,
or words to tell you what they want or what they need.
So instead of anticipating your baby's needs,
it's actually really important to pause to encourage
and teach your baby to communicate effectively.
So for example, instead of giving them the toys right away,
you would actually sit them on the floor
and wait approximately five seconds
to give your baby the chance to actually point to,
look at, or make a sound in the direction of the toys.
And you want to show your child that you're actually waiting
for that response by doing things
like raising your eyebrows, smiling at them,
or opening your mouths.
And this actually shows them that you're paying attention
to them and that you are actually expecting a response.
And what you'll notice is that they will communicate
what they want.
It could be reaching towards the toy,
looking at it, or actually making a sound.
And when they do that, you want to pick up the toy
while naming it and then hand the toy to your child.
So for example, if your baby tells you in their own way
they want the car, you would actually pick the car up
and you would say you want the car,
here is the car, cars go vroom.
When you give your baby the item that they are requesting,
you allow them to experience the power of communication.
And this positive experience will actually motivate them
to communicate with you again in the future.
And the added benefit is by naming the item
that they're wanting,
you are giving them the opportunity
to hear the word multiple times
and this helps them to understand what that word means
so that when they are ready to talk,
they know exactly what to say.
Here are some other practical ways
that you can actually use this technique
to encourage your baby or toddler to communicate with you.
But before I get into those, make sure you click on the link
in the description box below to get the free 0-12 month old
developmental milestone PDF
so you know exactly what to expect
in your baby's first year of life.
So the first thing you can do
is put your baby's favorite toys slightly out of reach.
So that might be on a shelf, on a table,
or actually in a see through container with the lid on.
And what you want to do is wait for your baby to look,
point, or babble, or make a noise
in the direction of that toy
before you give it to them.
And obviously when they communicate what they want,
you would label the item a few times as you give it to them.
Another way to do it is when you are playing with your baby
or toddler, just add in a pause.
So for example if you're rolling a ball to each other,
you would roll the ball back and forth a few times.
So let's say three times, and then on the fourth time,
you would actually hold the ball
and wait for your little one to either look up at you
or make a sound to say, hey, push me the ball again.
And when they do that, you would say, ready, set, go
and push the ball and then continue that play.
Or when you're at the park with your child,
you could put them on the swing
but don't automatically start pushing them.
Wait for them to actually let you know
that they want to be pushed
by looking back at you or making a noise.
And when they do that
then you would start pushing them on the swing.
You can also add in a pause during mealtime
so you could give them an empty plate or cup and just pause
so your baby will actually have time to let you know
that something is wrong.
So they might look at you or make a noise
and let you know that they need something in their cup
or they actually need some food,
or you could give them one piece of their favorite food
and then pause and wait for your child
to actually request more by hitting the table,
looking at you or grunting.
And at that point, you would give them
the next piece of food.
Giving your baby the opportunity
to actually choose between two objects is another great way
that you can implement a pause.
So for example, if you are wanting your baby
to choose between two toys, like a car or a ball,
you would hold them in one hand each
and you would wait for your baby to communicate their choice
by either reaching towards the item they want,
pointing at that item or making a sound while looking at it.
And when they do that and make their choice,
you would of course give them the toy they want
while labeling what they have chosen.
You could also just stop talking
and wait for your child to actually start a conversation.
So if your baby or toddler
is actually watching something outside, like a dog,
instead of jumping in and saying, "Look, it's a dog",
you would actually get close to them and look at your child
and wait for them to actually start a conversation,
which they will do if you give them time.
Eventually they'll actually look back at you
and maybe point to that dog or make a sound.
And at this point you would say, "Yes, it's a dog"
and point to the dog as well.
So remember, next time you instinctively
go to anticipate your baby or toddler's needs,
pause and give them a chance to communicate with you.
Now if you want more tips like this
to help your little one communicate with you,
the next thing you want to do is actually watch this video
to find out 10 more simple stress-free strategies
that you can actually start using today
to get your baby talking.
Thanks for watching.
And I will see you next week
where I'll share more parenting tips and tricks.