Welcome to an all-new episode of "What The Fit."
This is a show where I basically go
and I get my friends to do things they wouldn't normally do.
They're all based around a physical fitness workout.
So I wanna do things
that can motivate and inspire those to get fit.
Now that I'm done with that let's talk about my guest today.
I got my guy Jason Sudeikis.
We're going to Medieval Times and we're gonna get trained.
We're gonna get trained to be knights.
( music playing )
( grunts )
To learn how to be a knight would be an amazing,
physical fitness activity.
Oh, God. Oh, Jason.
Hey. Hey--
( laughs )
( laughing ) You look like the Tin Man.
I'm all right.
We're all right.
Oh.
It's so ( bleep ) loud!
- ( laughing ) It's so loud. - It's loud.
Oh, but it's also hot, Kevin.
Yeah, it's not just loud.
It's also really-- really G-D hot.
You know what? How about we take it off?
- Yeah. - Why-- We'll take it off.
- Take it off then we'll put it back on. - We'll put it on the roof.
- There you go. There you go. - Yeah, yeah.
( music playing )
- Look at this. - What is that?
I brought-- I brought a blowtorch.
- Why do you have a blowtorch? - Pliers.
For what, Jason? What are you doing?
So we can get Medieval on their ass.
- No. They're not-- - We're gonna get Medieval on their ass,
- like "Pulp Fiction." - Is that a ball gag?
- What are you doing? - I don't know. Is it, Kevin?
I didn't know what it was until you named it.
Just glanced at it real quick
and just goes, "Is that a ball gag?"
I don't think that's the type of Medieval that we're gonna get.
- Jason: All right. - Kevin: Here's what I did.
All right, we're going to train to be knights.
- Mm-hmm. - I thought that we should at least learn a vocabulary
- that was knight friendly. You know what I mean? - True.
We can-- We can compete at least on a vocabulary level.
- Look at what I have. - What do you got here?
Tell me what you think it is.
Woman:
- Perfect. -
Repeat after me.
- ( British accent ) After me. -
( mimicking woman's voice ) How do you do?
( shouting ) How do you do?
Would you like some tea?
( British accent ) Would you like some tea?
Do knights drink tea?
- Probably not. -
little brother.
( British accent ) That's quiet a lot, little--
That's quite a lot, little--
- But-- Butter, little brother. - Yeah.
I am a princess.
( high-pitched voice ) I'm a little princess.
( British accent ) Then eat a little bit of butter and drink some tea.
- Jason: ( high-pitched voice ) Oh! - ( both laugh )
( music playing )
Kevin:
( grunts )
- Sparks! You see the sparks! - Sparks.
- ( grunts ) - Kevin: Oh, they're going through it. See?
- But you see how intense they are? - Yes.
- Yeah-- - This is not-- This is not a game.
( grunts )
Kevin: Did they--
Oh, God.
- Hi, guys. Welcome, welcome. - Hey, how you doing?
- Jason. - Come on down.
( British accent ) I-- I wanna know if anybody wants some tea.
Yeah, we're working on the voices.
( British accent ) Does anybody want any tea?
Spot of tea.
- Or Nutty Butter? - Jason: No.
- No. - No, but we will go over some jousting.
- Kevin and Jason: Okay. Okay. - Some fights.
And, uh, we're gonna get you guys tournament ready.
And if the queen deems you worthy to compete--
Oh, ( bleep )!
- We have to meet the queen? - Jason: Yeah.
( British accent ) Do we get to meet the queen?
If you perform well enough, yeah.
- So, we're gonna suit up. - Okay.
- We're gonna suit up? - You gotta wear the uniform.
- Oh! - You guys set?
Okay. Absolutely.
Let's go. So we're gonna suit up.
If-- If the glove don't fit...
- Right? - ...you must acquit.
Who am I?
Guess who?
Cuba! Cuba!
- Who am I? Ring any bells? Ring any bells? - Ain't my glove.
Whatever happened to O.J.?
( laughs )
Kevin:
Oh! Where is the queen?
Where is she?
So, we're gonna go into how to-- how to kill and how to die.
I'm one of the best diers ever, so.
- You'll see. He's right. - Man: All right.
So what we're gonna do is, you just wanna give him a good hit.
There.
- Yeah. - So, you hear that slap?
So, he's dying now, right?
- Now, what I really wanna do is I wanna take him... - That guy died?
...and I'm just gonna throw him out.
That's called taking out the trash.
- So you think you can do better than that? - Well, he--
He's not gonna get an Oscar anytime soon, I tell you that.
You just wanna keep your hands out of the way.
There you go. All right.
- ( groans ) - Nice, nice.
And now we take out the trash and--
( screams )
( groans )
Yeah.
( groans )
( groans and cries )
You did a little better than that.
( groans )
We're gonna have to charge extra when you do the show.
No. No.
- All right. - ( groans )
He's okay. He's okay.
- Jason: Everybody. - ( groans )
- Jason. - Jason: It's all right.
- Me? Me, Jason? - Jason, call my--
- Me? Yeah. - Call my aunt.
Tell her I didn't pay all of the cable bill.
Okay, okay. Anything.
- And go feed my dogs. - You got it.
- ( crying ) - Absolutely.
Both of them. Both of them?
You're gonna make it. It's okay.
Oh!
- You son of-- - I forgot to tell you. I forgot to tell you one last thing.
One last thing, yes, of course. Please, anything, anything, anything.
I watch a lot of porn in the summertime.
- Who doesn't? - Whoa. Uh-- Uh--
All right, that's like a three minute death.
You just-- You just gotta die and then that's it.
- Man: That's all. - This is a miscommunication.
- Okay, yeah. You just gotta let the guys know. - That's all that is.
Yeah, you just gotta tell me the time of death.
- Give him a time window. - Yeah, you gotta give me a time.
You didn't say how much time I had to die.
- Yeah, that's very true. - I didn't think it had to be very specific,
- but all right. - Yeah, I'm sorry.
- All right, so. - You wanna die, Jason? Let Jason die.
- I mean, you don't-- - Your turn?
- And guide this arm. All right. - ( groans )
( groans )
( groaning )
- ( groaning continues ) - Kevin: This is good.
Kevin: This is good. This is so good.
- ( groaning continues ) - This is so good.
This is so good.
- So good. - I gotta go the other way, I'm gonna puke.
- So good. - ( groaning continues )
Oh, this is so good.
- ( groaning continues ) - ( bleep )
( mimics farting )
No, gas, of course.
You're a dead body. Yeah, farts.
Yeah, farts, if you die.
Everybody knows that. This is great.
( farting continues )
- This is definitely a workout. - Jason: Yeah.
I will-- I will a hundred percent admit that.
We're gonna move on to some jousting.
Kevin: This reminds me of the train station where I grew up.
Yo, yo, yo, we ain't gonna pay today.
And you run. ( grunts )
Jump the train station.
That's like some little thug stuff I just told y'all.
Jason, you don't know nothing about hopping the trains.
No, no. You know what I would do if I wanna get in a house?
House, you know, when no one's there.
- Through the doggy door. I'd go through the-- - There you go.
( groans ) Through the doggy door. Just like that.
- Different neighborhood, different childhood. - Much different.
- Much different. - Different childhood.
- ( laughs ) - Completely different childhood.
- Yeah, of course. - All right, with this lance
- I'm gonna charge with this horse, - Jason: Great. Yeah.
I'm gonna hit him in the shield.
- Man 2: Look down. - Look down?
( Kevin screams )
Yeah, I'm confused.
- I saw what he did, - Yeah.
but I'm saying, what do you--
What do you want me and Jason to do? What do we do?
Oh, you're-- You're gonna take the hit.
All right, well, Jason, you're up.
Oh. ( laughs )
You're gonna be great, Jason.
- Means a lot. - This is gonna make great television.
That's all you gotta think, man.
So you're like this in a prone position.
When I say, "Present," you're gonna go like that.
- Like that? - Yes, sir.
- You got it, Jason. - I'm gonna say that
- when he's about halfway. - Jason: Okay.
- You ready, sir? - Ready.
- All right. - Make sure you present it.
Man 2: Present. Look down.
- Man 2: Nice! - ( screams )
- ( screams ) - In yo face!
- Jason, you-- - Man 2: Can you see okay?
- Yeah. - Congratulations.
- You did it. You got juice-ted. - That was good. I-- I--
All right, Kevin, you're up.
Well, I don't-- I don't know if I get to do it.
- No, no, no, you're up. - ( groans ) All right.
Here we go.
Helmet first.
- Can you see? - Yeah, I can see.
Uh, it really hurts, Kevin.
- What? - Nothing.
Jason-- ( laughs )
- Horse is ready. - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- What the ( bleep ) is that? - That was a wind up.
Okay, can I just be honest?
- Sure. - A little piece of poop came out.
Yeah.
- You ready? - Okay. All right.
- He's ready. - All right.
- He's a warhorse. - All right.
Man 2: All right, Jesse, here we go.
Present!
Did it happen?
Is it over?
Did I do it? ( screams )
Oh!
( groans )
Jason: ( laughs ) Look at that. Oh, no.
Oh, boy.
( farts )
( music playing )
Kevin: Oh, my God!
- Let me smell your breath. - How-- Smell my breath.
( sniffs ) Will do, will do.
( British accent ) - Hello. - Hello.
- Well done, my Lords. - My Lady.
- We've-- We've trained as knights. - I'm right here.
- Yeah. - I understand,
and surprisingly, you've exceeded my expectations.
Yes, yes, yes.
- But-- Yes. - Go on.
And, as queen, I would very much like to, uh...
Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Spit it out.
- You're gonna what? - ...knight you.
( both scream )
We're about to get knighted.
Hey!
You'll have to teach me the dance later.
- Please kneel before me. - Kevin: Okay.
- Kevin: All right. - Yes. Right.
By the Holy Order of Saint Martin--
( screams )
- Jason: Kevin! Kevin! - ( bleep )!
Damn!
- I barely touched you. - I'm just joking.
- Kevin: I was joking. - Jason: We gotcha.
- I knew he was kidding I knew he was kidding. - Sorry.
- All right, shall we start again? - Kevin: I'm sorry. Yes, yes.
- All right, ready? - Jason: Please be careful. He's the money.
By the Holy Order of Saint Martin,
I raise you to knights of the realm.
Go ahead and rise.
I feel different.
- Getting good stuff. - Thank-- Thank you, my Lady. My Lady.
So, part of being knights of the realm...
- Yes. - ...you are to compete in tonight's tournament
in front of the entire kingdom,
in which one of you might be our true champion.
Kevin: Done.
- This is big. Thank you. - Yeah.
Oh.
- My Lady. - My Lord.
I'm gonna go-- I'm gonna go enjoy a nice--
Please. Please.
- Hey, take it easy. - Good luck tonight.
( music playing )
( cheers and applause )
Good and gracious nobles, welcome.
Tonight, two new knights of the realm
will fight to the death.
( cheers and applause )
I give to you your black and white knight,
Sir Jason Sudeikis!
( cheers and applause )
Audience: ( chanting ) Jason!
For his opponent, I give to you your champion,
Sir Kevin Hart!
- ( cheers and applause ) - Yes.
Yes.
Yes!
You!
Audience: ( chanting ) Kevin!
Announcer: Are you prepared for final combat?
My Lords, when you are ready, play on.
( screams )
- ( grunts ) - ( screams )
( grunting )
( grunts )
( groans )
You okay?
( groaning )
( music playing )
Audience: ( chanting ) Jason!
Yes!
I gotta thank Jason Sudeikis for another amazing episode.
Thank you to everybody at Medieval Times.
What a workout.
As you can see I'm sweating like hell.
I got nothing but respect for these knights.
I love you all.
( grunts ) Thank guys so much.
For more jousting action,
what I want you guys to do is go check out my YouTube channel,
Laugh Out Loud, and subscribe.
Why? Because I said so.
If you don't do it, I'll go Medieval on your ass.