MY NEXT GUEST WAS A WRITER AND PRODUCER ON SOME SHOWS YOU MIGHT
KNOW CALLED "SEINFELD" AND "THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN."
NOW, HE HOSTS "CAR MATCHMAKER" ON THE ESQUIRE NETWORK.
PLEASE WELCOME, SPIKE FERESTEN!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: COME ON UP.
>> SO EXCITED.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
>> TO BE HERE.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU.
DO YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME WE SAW EACH OTHER?
>> Stephen: THE LAST TIME YOU AND I SAW EACH OTHER WAS--
>> "THE DANEY CARVEY SHOW."
>> Stephen: RIGHT, THERE WAS A SHOW ON ABC, THE "DANEY CARVEY
SHOW, "IN 1996.
YOU WERE A WRITER ON THE SHOW.
AND I WAS A WRITER ON THE SHOW.
>> I SHARED AN OFFICE WITH YOU AND ANOTHER STEVE.
HIS NAME WAS -- >> STEVE CARELL.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> YOU WEREN'T THERE FOR THE WHOLE THING.
>> I CAME IN TO CLEAN UP THE MESS AFTER THAT FIRST SKETCH YOU
GUYS HAD.
>> Stephen: IT WAS ONLY ON FOR SEVEN EPISODE.
>> SIX EPISODES.
>> Stephen: NO, WE WERE ON FOR SEVEN.
WE DID EIGHT.
THE EIGHTH ONE WAS NEVER BROADCAST.
THAT WAS THE MAGIC ONE.
THAT'S WHAT WOULD HAVE SAVED THE SHOW.
>> I THINK I WAS IN THAT EPISODE.
I HAD A DAY JOB AT THE TIME ON "SEINFELD."
>> Stephen: YOU WROTE THE SOUP NAZI.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
BUT WHEN THE DANA CARVEY-- I CAME TO WRITE ON DANA CARVEY
BECAUSE I LOVED WHAT YOU GUYS WERE DOING.
I COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT WAS ON TELEVISION.
>> Stephen: NEITHER COULD ABC.
>> AND I REMEMBER THE DAY THE SHOW WAS CANCELED, I THOUGHT,
GOD, THERE ARE THESE TWO GUYS, STEVE CARELL AND STEPHEN COLBERT
ARE THE NICEST, FUNNIEST GUYS, BUT THEY'RE GOING TO BE
SQUEEGEEING WINDSHIELDS OUT BY THE LINCOLN TUNNEL AT THE END OF
THIS.
>> Stephen: IT WAS OVER.
>> IT'S OVER.
THEIR CAREER IS DONE.
>> Stephen: WE HAD OUR SHOT AND IT DIDN'T WORK.
>> I WAS REALLY WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
>> Stephen: SERIOUSLY?
>> SERIOUSLY.
>> Stephen: YOU THOUGHT WE WOULDN'T WORK AGAIN?
>> WELL, SIX EPISODES AND OUT?
YEAH.
>> Stephen: SEVEN!
>> SEVEN, WHATEVER!
( LAUGHTER ) BUT I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU
HERE.
>> Stephen: IT WAS A FUN SHOW.
THERE WERE AMAZING PEOPLE, LOUIS C.K., YOU, DANA, ME, STEVE
CARELL.
>> CHARLIE KAUFMAN.
>> Stephen: CHARLIE KAUFMAN.
ROB HARLOK FROM "30 ROCK," AN AMAZING GROUP OF PEOPLE, AND IT
DIDN'T MATTER.
>> NO.
>> Stephen: LISTEN, I JUST WANT TO ASK YOU ONE QUESTION
ABOUT THE SOUP NAZI.
DO YOU MIND STILL TALKING ABOUT THAT SHOW?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, WHAT, THE IDEA CAME IN THIS BUILDING SO
NO.
>> Stephen: YOU WROTE FOR DAVE HERE.
>> I WROTE FOR DAVE.
I WAS UPSTAIRS WHEN THE WHOLE THING HAPPENED TO ME.
>> Stephen: SO YOU WOULD GO OVER THERE-- SO CBS ACTUALLY
OWNS THAT IDEA IS WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
>> YES, IT IS THEIR PROPERTY.
>> Stephen: THERE'S A LAWYER OUT THERE WHO AGREES WITH US.
>> IT WAS 20 YEARS AGO.
BUT WE USED TO GO EVERY DAY TO THE SOUP NAZI.
THERE WAS A REAL SOUP NAZI ON 55th AND 8th.
>> Stephen: HE WASN'T REALLY A NAUGHTY.
>> THAT'S HOW I WAS INTRODUCED TO HIM.
HE WAS A JERK.
HE WAS A MISOGYNIST A LITTLE BIT.
YOU HAD TO ORDER YOUR SOUP CORRECTLY OR HE WOULD KICK YOU
OUT OF THE LINE AND SAY, "NO SOUP FOR YOU."
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU BEEN BACK?
>> I WENT BACK A YEAR AFTER THE EPISODE AIRED WITH JERRY
SEINFELD BECAUSE JERRY WANTED TO MEET HIM.
AND I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO HIM,"THE GUY IS NOT EXCITED ABOUT MEETING
YOU."
AND HE SAID WHY.
I SAID, "YOU CALLED HIM A NAZI TO THE WORLD AND HE TAKES
OFFENSE TO THAT, WEIRDLY."
WE WENT BACK TO ORDER SOUP, GERRY AND MYSELF A A COUPLE OF
THE WRITERS.
JERRY GOT INTO THE LINE AND PEOPLE IN THE LINE WERE THRILLED
THIS WAS UNFOLDING IN FRONT OF THEM.
THE SOUP NAZI DID A TRIPLE-TAKE AND UNLEASHED A STRING OF
EXPLETIVES WHICH I WILL NOT REPEAT HERE, AND TOOK THE SOUP
AWAY, NO ASSUME FOR FOR YOU.
IT WAS UNCOMFORTABLE.
HE SCREAMED.
WHAT HE DOESN'T KNOW IS LATER THAT DAY, JERRY CAME BACK WITH
HIS GIRLFRIEND AT THE TIME, SENT HER OUT OF THE A TOWN CAR AND
GOT THE SOUP AND WAS ABLE TO EAT THE SOUP FINALLY.
SO HE BEAUT THE SOUP NAZI AT HIS OWN GAME.
>> Stephen: THE NEW SHOW IS CALLED "CAR MATCHMAKER" ON
ESQUIRE.
WHAT'S THE POINT OF SHOW?
>> I'VE BEEN A CAR GUY FOR A LONG TIME AND WORKED FOR A
COUPLE, LETTERMAN, AND SEINFELD.
IF YOU'RE CAR GUY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD YOU HELP PEOPLE
FIND CARS SO THIS SHOW IS A NATURAL EXTENSION OF THAT.
SOMEONE COMES ON THE SHOW.
I SHOW THEM THREE OPTIONS AND THEY PICK ONE.
>> Stephen: DID YOU HELP SOMEONE FIND THE MYSTERY
MACHINE?
>> I DROVE-- I DROVE THAT IN THE FIRST SEASON.
HERE'S A FUNNY STORY ABOUT THAT.
I DROVE BY A POT DISPENSARY, AND A STONER CAME RUNNING OUT, AND
HE WAS LIKE, "NO WAY, MAN!
THE MYSTERY MACHINE.
WAIT HERE!" >> Stephen: WAS IT KEVIN
SMITH.
>> IT WAS KEVIN SMITH.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT THIS?
WHAT IS THAT?
WHO ARE YOU MATCHING TO-- WHAT IS THAT CAR?
>> THAT'S A BMW, A LITTLE BUBBLE CAR.
THOSE ARE VERY POPULAR IN EUROPE.
AND THIS IS FOR SHAQ?
>> NO, IT'S A GUY WHO COLLECTS MICRO-CARS.
LITTLE CARS.
>> Stephen: AND THIS IS?
>> ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
>> Stephen: A GERMAN POLICE CAR.
>> FROM 1979.
I OWN THAT CAR NOW.
THAT'S MY LITTLE WEEKEND FUN CAR WITH MY BOYS.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE CAR YOU MATCH SOMEBODY
WITH?
>> GEEZ, I DON'T KNOW.
YOU MEAN, THAT I'VE SHOWED THEM?
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> THAT'S EVERY CAR I HEAR ABOUT FROM THE CUSTOMERS AND BUYERS
WHO COME BACK AND SAY I'M HAPPY, A YEAR OR TWO LATER.
>> Stephen: WHAT.
THIS ONE?
JIM.
>> THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE GOOD!
OH, GOD!
THAT IS INSANE!
>> WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
WE'RE FLOATING.
THAT'S A GOOD THING.
>> FOR NOW!
>> OH, I HAD TO PUT THE CLUTCH IN.
THERE WE GO.
YEAH, BABY!
>> I DON'T LIKE THIS.
THE AMPHI-CAR.
>> Stephen: EVERYBODY WANTS THAT.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> STEPHEN, THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
>> Stephen: "CAR MATCHMAKER" IS ON WEDNESDAYS AT 9:00 P.M. ON
THE ESQUIRE NETWORK.
SPIKE FERESTEN, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.