May I have some service please?
You had best speak with Alan.
Excuse me, Alan.
Don't look directly into Alan.
I'm sorry to bother you Alan,
but I'd really like something to eat.
No requests!
You get what you are given.
I hope you don't mind me sitting here
I'd choose another seat
But this is the only one nobody has died in
Oh yeah?
How would you know?
Because I remember things like that
I count them
I'm counting you right now
How many of me in total?
Just one.
You'll always be just one.
Is this going to be an issue?
She hasn't died
It is just an act.
It is part of her scam.
Well it's convincing, I'll give her that.
Follow us to the car please sir.
If you would just step this way and follow us to the car please sir.
Oh dear, am I in trouble?
Sir, there'll be plenty of time to ask questions later
if you would just follow us to the car
if you would just follow us to the car please sir
Sir, if you would just follow us to the car please sir.
I don't understand why you're not cooperating with us.
We just want you to follow us to the car
I'm in the car. With you.
We're just trying to help you
and you will not cooperate with us for ONE FUCKING MINUTE
and if you want me to come back there
I'll bite your fucking spleen out.
Would you please just follow us to the car sir
I'm in the car.
I'm in the car with you right now.
Is this mine now?
Well, you know, you can err......
you could probably have it, if you wanted to.
I said..
Is this MINE?
Yeah. I mean..I suppose it is.
Tell your mum her items are shit.
I'll try to remember.
Don't you fucking get fresh with me.
you shouldn't be looking at stuff like that.
Craig?
That's a strange name for a cow, isn't it?
Did you used to be a man?
No.
My mother was Jewish. She didn't name me properly.
Well I think she did just fine.
May we have permission?
I can still feel you inside me.
You think I'm hideous, don't you?
You can't bear to look at me.
No! That's all wrong.
I want to look at you for hours.
I jut need to keep my eye on the road, that's all.
Err.....that might be beef.
I don't give a fuck.
That might be human.
Choose one.
For what?
Just choose one. See if you get it right.
One, two, three, five or six.
Four
Four?
That one's four.
Uh huh. And that's the one I choose.
OK
Evenin' Stockton!
Is it?
could you open up the boot of the car please sir?
Right you, in there.
I have a permit.
It's OK
I have a permit.
So is it a one or a two today?
It's a two, with a side of one.
OK
And how often do you make stool?
Once every other day.
And are you happy with that?
I'd rather it be every day. To be honest.
Do you ever think about suicide?
Yes but I don't consider it an option.
Tell me
what's the dirtiest thing you've done in bed?
I've been wee'd on
I've done anal
and I've licked a few bumholes
nothing else really
Does it arouse you that I'm down here?
A little bit but I don't think I want to have sex with you.
OK the questions are complete.
Would you like your mother to be present for the results?
Could it be my older sister?
She was like a mother to me.
Yes that would be fine.
Jeremy. Stop it. Stop it Jeremy.
No, Sue it's me, Carol.
You're only Jeremy when it suits you
Never time to look for others in your pursuits.
I'm Carol today Sue, and that's all that matters.
I'll read the results.
I don't need to hear the results.
You're still my little sister, however well you did.
But I wish you'd leave Jeremy behind.
It's not that simple, Sue.
The results were 100% negative
And nothing out of the ordinary was detected.
So that's some good news, isn't it?