I've got six of them but the best one is at the end,
so, stay tuned.
I am Rebecca Zung.
I'm a lawyer, an author and a narcissist negotiation expert.
I specialize in the area of
helping you negotiate with narcissists.
Whether you're negotiating with them
in a family law matter, a divorce, paternity,
maybe it's in a business setting, maybe you've got clients,
you're trying to close more businesses,
you're dealing with it in your corporation, whatever.
If you are negotiating with people who
are toxic and difficult, I'm your girl.
Make sure you subscribe to this channel, and
hit that notification bell.
Let's talk about the only ways to make a narcissist respect you.
To understand how a narcissist is going to respect you,
you have to understand the concept of narcissistic supply.
It's exactly the only thing
that drives them, that feeds them.
It's like heroin to them.
It's like a drug to a drug addict.
They can never get enough, it's a black hole.
But, one of the things that you have to understand is
this is a concept I've kind of figured out
by dealing with them myself and also studying this a lot.
There's a hierarchy of narcissistic supply
so, there's like the great A diamond level supply, and
then there's what I call the coal level supply.
It burns, it gives them energy but, it doesn't,
it's not as good as the diamond level supply.
The diamond level supply,
they'll do whatever they need to protect, maintain, defend.
It's like they have this unspoken constitution
to protect it as if it's their country or something.
I mean, they're very patriotic to themselves,
they will do whatever they need to do to protect great A supply,
which is things like image, how they look,
how they look to people they respect,
how they look to maybe new sources of supply,
something like that.
So, the best way to get them to respect you,
is tied up in that concept of narcissistic supply.
You're going to see what I mean here in just a minute.
So, six ways to get them to respect you,
listen to the end, because I'm going to give you
the best one last, of course.
So, number six,
then we'll go up to number one.
If you get so close to them,
that they know your weaknesses,
that they know that they have you,
that they have some level of control over you,
then they won't respect you as much
because they're testing you constantly and even
at the beginning, they're constantly testing you.
By the way, I have a whole video on this and
why narcissists test their victims,
you should definitely check that out.
But in the beginning,
they're testing you to see if you're going to be
a good source of supply.
So, stay a little bit distant from them if you can,
sometimes, they're hard to spot early on,
especially, if they're coverts,
but just remember,
if the little hairs on the back of your neck
are sticking up and you feel it in your gut,
probably you should listen to that.
All right, that's number 6.
Stay independent financially.
Stay independent emotionally.
If you can kind of stay in a place where
you don't need to be with them,
you're not hanging on them for everything,
then you will be better off.
In fact, I was just talking to somebody this week
that was saying that they're in a relationship
with a person who is trying to get out of
a relationship with a narcissist, and that person,
has been completely supported by this guy,
doesn't have any skills,
hasn't been able to work for a long time, and
now she's going to have to try
to figure out how to get some skills,
how to get out into the workplace and
how to start making money for herself.
If you stay financially independent,
if you stay emotionally independent,
they will respect you more.
They will tread a bit lightly for you on that.
That's number five.
Number four,
we are making our way up to number one here,
so, stay tuned with me.
Whether it’s prestige, whether it's that
you have a certain amount of influence,
if you are a name of some sort, maybe you're a celebrity,
maybe you are high up in a corporation,
maybe you are an influencer of some sort
that they very much respect,
they very much want to be attached to,
they will continue to respect you,
because they loved the optics of being your friend
or hanging out with you, or that you could potentially,
give them more supply in that way.
If they're continuing to get supply from you,
from that, they will continue to respect you.
So, if you want them to respect, honor and value you,
Put “Respect me” down in the comments.
They will definitely respect you then,
Such as the judge, if you're in a divorce case,
or a boss or a CEO.
Even if it's a dynamic where you're in a particular group and
everyone in the group respects you more than
other people, then they will respect you,
they will hang back,
they will not use their little bag of tricks.
Their co-level supply which is devalued, debased, degraded and
so, they won't do that as much
if you are in a position of control over them,
there's some reason why
they need to look good in front of you,
that they need you to be respecting them.
So, that's number three.
Number two, we're almost there.
That you respect them,
that you value them,
I talk about bartering sometimes, like
“Oh, can you take care of this quickbooks reconciliation,
you're so much better with numbers than I am”,
something like that.
So, number two is
not letting on that you know who they are.
Letting them think that
you are still respecting them,
that you're giving them that adulation that
they so desperately need and so desperately crave.
So, that's number two.
Number one, you ready for it?
It's actually kind of counterintuitive,
but, it is the truth.
They're looking for people that
they can control, that they can get supply from.
If you're not that person, they will respect you more.
By the way,
when you start shifting the dynamic in negotiations,
instead of being afraid of what the backlash is going to be
understand that they will start to panic and
that's a good thing.
You want them to do that, because that's how
you're going to start to shift the dynamic, and
you're going to start to shift
the balance of power in that negotiation.
So, if you are ready to negotiate with a narcissist,
make sure to grab my free
“Crush my negotiation” prep work sheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
Be confident, self-assured, you can do this.
If you need more support,
just join my free private Facebook group,
“Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
If you like this video,
give it a like, give it a share,
drop me that comment, say “Respect me” and
make sure you subscribe to my channel and
hit that notification bell.
Remember, today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
Why not today? Why not right now?
You guys can do this.
I will see you in the next video!