What the fuck? I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
I w- holy shit.
Alright, so this goes and this shoo- Alright.
'Hit siren if you understand.'
Okay, I don't even know what button 'siren' was. I guess I understood that.
Alright. What the hell was that, a demerit?
I'm fuckin' dead! I exploded!
Select the day?
Just start the fucking game. What is all th-? I don't know what this shit is!
'Shoot and explode offender for quota credit.'
Is that- is that really an all-points bulletin? Just blast the fuck out of the guy when you find him? Whatever.
Alright. This is the game- Oh, great. I got a fucking demerit three seconds into it!
Oh my fucking god... -_-
Fucking get- out of the- WAY!
This is, uh...
This is something.
'Extra time, drive through the donut shop.' Just heading through the donut shop.
I don't know- I'm going the wrong way, I guess.
I guess I should probably try and-
This car has a goddamn mind of its own!
'Press siren and aim at cone. Hit siren if you understand.'
I didn't hit anything and it went anyway.
Thanks.
This is a wall?
How did I get a fucking demerit? I moved three feet!
What happened there? And then that time he pinched my fucking nose.
It's that what happens? Is that what happens? You get your fucking nose pinched?
How do I aim? Pull over. Pull over. Am I doing it?
Oh, I did it. Oh, so you just have to SLAM into the fucking thing.
Oh, of course, now he's fucking sucking my dick.
Better give me a bonus you fat asshole.
Is this how a siren works? Is there a projectile in front you?
PULL OVER, YOU FUCK!
Oh, what do I do? I'm pulling over, what's going on here?
Hey, what- what do you need?
I'm trying to help ya. Y- you want to be a little more specific. I'm right here.
Okay...
Alright, so when you ask for help, you want me to run you the fuck over.
I fucking ran over a pedestrian...
He fucking shouldn't have been standing there!
Oh, I fucking exploded. So I can fucking slam into anything I want except for a parked car.
Oh, man, the chief is gonna be fucking pissed.
Nobody's bad when the sirens on-
Oh, COME ON
I fucking exploded again.
Where's the donut shop? Every time you say that, I don't know where the donut shop is.
Every time you fucking say that, WHERE IS IT?!
This is a piece of shit, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I'm just fucking shooting pullovers at people.
What, did I fuckin' hit a bunch of fucking rocks on the side of the road?
Why are there boulders on the side of the fucking highway-
WHAT THE FUCK
Oh my god, who put that-
OH MY GOOOOD
The controls in this game are fucking shit sauce.
They're shit on a fucking pile of shit,
covered in shit.
Just get the guy. I fucking got him somehow and-
Who keeps putting this fucking wall here!?
Do a fucking loop-de-loop- I hit a fucking speed sign.
I HIT THE GODDAMN FUCKING SPEED SIGN
You can't hit shit- a fucking trai-
[Controller slam] A FUCKING TRAIN?!
I'm arresting a taxi now. Is this Queen Latifah?
So level 1, I got- okay, didn't let me pick, I was gonna explain all the levels but the game said 'no', alright, I guess that's fine.
This game's a piece of shit. This game's a piece of shit. There is no doubt about it.
The controls are absolute fucking garbage. This guy just flies all over the place,
and then the next thing you know, you fucking exPLODE!
That's like the 12th time I died on that same set of fucking boulders,
that just sitting on the side of the fucking HIGHWAY!
And I'm fired again. I don't know. I don't know.
What are they holding out the window? What the hell is that?
Now he's just fucking choking me out.
'To arrest aim at drunk and tap siren four times.'
What does that mean 'tap four times?'
Like I'm holding it down, tapping it does jack fuckin' balls.
Pull over
Pull over (x2)
Pull over (x3)
Pull over (x4)
Pull OVER (x5)
Pull over, (x6)
you fucking drunk,
PULL OVER (x7)
It was a false arrest, I'm sorry, I guess tha-
No, bullshit! Bullshit! That WAS the guy!
I'm fucking fired!?
YOU'RE FUCKIN' FIRED