you know ladies and gentlemen recently I uncovered a scandal involving millions of Americans who
were being duped by a few large corporations now let's face it I'm not an investigative
reporter by profession nonetheless I risked my life making the film you're about to see
I'm well aware that by showing you this I'm jeopardizing my job as well as the jobs of Paul
Shaffer and the band but believe me it's worth it to inform the public about what's going on
watch closely if you will [Music]
I remember the evening it all started it had been a pretty
good day at work and I was returning to Mrs Johnson's boarding house where I live
Johnson hello David when are you gonna finish that sweater what are
you watching it's our lucky night The Cosby Show is on oh great I know he's
one of your favorites wait a minute he's uh he's out until Thursday night is he oh
David I don't ask questions I just watch TV there's nothing wrong with that oh my God
is there are you sure this is Cosby
I think so it's not one of their better episodes though yeah it just seems like there's a little
something uh off about the whole thing maybe it's the set this is the CBS television network
uh Mrs Johnson do you mind leaving the room for just a minute wait David what's the matter oh
nothing nothing serious I uh I hope oh and uh tell the other borders not to come down here
leave you know you're mighty Purdy when you're mad
oh hi Paul thanks for coming Dave your weight is a ghost what's wrong yeah I know sit down I'll tell
you about it uh Paul you know earlier tonight uh I'm watching NBC or at least I think I'm watching
NBC well it turns out that I'm watching CBS now if I'm not mistaken Paul CBS is stealing ideas
for television programs from NBC and putting them on their air Dave that's ridiculous is
this one of your comedy routines well I wish it was this this thing whatever I'm watching
it sounded just like The Cosby Show but uh it was a cheap CBS imitation all right all right
this alleged show on CBS was it as good as Cosby no no no no no that's just it it had none of the
warm emotional content of The Cosby Show but do you think CBS cares David are you going to
stay up all night it's almost midnight they're frightening the other borders I'm I'm sorry Mrs
Johnson I'll be up in a couple of minutes hello Mrs Johnson Paul Shaffer I should have known it
was you causing a stir get on home now I never should have rented to show people listen Paul
do me a favor tomorrow go over to CBS and do some snooping around let me know what you find out all
right if it'll make you feel better Dave but I think this sounds pretty far-fetched to me
foreign
if anyone was going to believe me I'd need plenty of evidence so I spent all
night reading everything I could get my hands on I even thought I
might uncover something by doing the TV Guide crossword okay eight blank enough
is eight is a veteran that's a it's an NBC show isn't it or is it my whole world was topsy-turvy
but I had to keep going if not for my sake for the sake of the people I love the more I read
the more dirt I uncovered and by mourning every illusion I had about TV was shattered [Music]
who is it Dave it's me come on in come on in oh my God Paul who did this to you CBS Dave this
is bigger than CBS ABC is in on it too they've got a new show that's a ripoff of Miami Vice sit
down sit down take care of yourself listen this is the kind of thing that has been going on for
years remember mash the CBS show that everybody thought was so great yeah well it turns out before
it was a TV show it was a movie and you know The Odd Couple that was a movie and a play oh
yeah but that's not the worst of it they're even stealing people
remember Captain Kirk on the great show on NBC Star Trek yeah okay
look at this TJ hooker an ABC show it's the same guy what are we gonna do okay what we're gonna
do we gotta make the world Listen we've got to tell people we've got to make them believe it
look at that I'm back here you cowards
[Music]
[Applause]
hello David hello David oh my hip where am I hello David
good evening Tom Brokaw
David look I'm sorry that we had to knock you out like that and rough up your little friends but you
must understand we just can't let this information out wait a minute you're behind all of this Dave
Ashley I wish that I were But like everyone else here at NBC I'm just a stooge for Bill Cosby wait
a minute I don't get it he was the one being ripped off hey come on Dave don't be so naive
the fact is that NBC is just as guilty as the other networks even Nightly News The Today Show we
all steal from each other and all of your favorite NBC entertainment shows well they have their roots
in the past as well Family Ties Hill Street Blues uh Misfits of science I know unfortunately Dave
that's an NBC original but the point is that no one is innocent in this business not even NBC and
believe me it is for the good of Television that's why we have to play along not to make any waves
and if you have any questions yeah you know that ABC show 2020 Hugh Downs now is he the Anchorman
is he the host look look I can't get into that all I do is take my orders from Mr Cosby by the
way Bill wanted me to tell you that you should put a little more emotion a little more warmth
into your own show okay well I'll sure try and he said that you can start by giving me a little hug
David that's enough oh but one more thing by the way did you stop making kind of blind numbers
you know I really learned an awful lot that day and since that time believe
me I've tried very hard to make late night the warmest show on television
thank you good night and God bless each and every one of you
will uh we'll be right back with Michael Keaton folks