- The three characteristics I share with you in this video
will make you more attractive,
will completely change the way people perceive you
because you have changed the way you see yourself.
So with this video,
I'm gonna show you the three shifts that change everything
and let's get into it right now.
When it comes to being attractive,
there are qualities that will either repel love
from coming to you and literally push it away,
and there are things that you do that are magnetic,
that literally create a magnetic attraction to you.
And the first one, when it comes to this,
and the biggest block I see in so many people
is this one quality,
and that is the ability to go into your wounds,
also known as vulnerability.
Now, this doesn't mean just crying about
and like expressing things right when you meet someone
that is your most vulnerable things.
I mean, it can, if it's authentic, I guess.
But in general, vulnerability is the ability
to express yourself and show the real you.
I know in my own past,
there was years where I wasn't very vulnerable.
And what end up happening is I would meet people,
I would actually like wanna date someone,
I'd go on a date with someone
and then I would decide or choose
that I wouldn't show different aspects of myself
because I was afraid of rejection.
I was afraid of not being accepted.
I was afraid of not feeling worthy.
And what I would do is I would then sometimes even,
there was like a nice guy personality that I had to shed
because it was something that I adopted from my dad.
And I would almost hold back
from showing sexual interest in some woman I was dating.
And the challenge with that
is that I can remember clearly, many times,
when I would be dating someone
and like two or three months into it,
they were kind of like waiting.
Like, "Why isn't he pursuing me or making it very known
that he's interested in me in this way?"
So what ended up happening
is that I have these like a lot of friends
and a lot of friendships,
but I wasn't actually being authentic
with what my desires were,
which would've been to date somebody.
And that lack of vulnerability,
that lack of putting myself out there in that way
would have me either attracting people
that weren't really interested,
or it would have me just having people
that were just in this limbo state
of maybe he just doesn't like me,
or maybe he doesn't want to date me.
And one of the things I've noticed for many people,
whether it's the people-pleasing mentality,
whether it's the nice guy mentality
is if there's a lack of willingness
to put yourself out there, the real you,
then that will block love from coming into your life
and it is actually more attractive to be vulnerable.
Because to be vulnerable
and to share with other people the real you
even if that means you could get rejected,
it creates a bold,
it requires a level of courage.
It requires a level of tenacity
and persistence in a way as well.
And many people that maybe have trouble,
like one thing you could do to attract love
that is attractive is to firmly grounded in yourself,
go out, and even ask somebody out.
Whether you're a female or a male
or whatever your sexual orientation is,
if you put yourself out there
and you are energetically setting yourself up
to be in different situations
where you could actually meet someone,
you increase the likelihood of actually attracting love.
There are many people that may be inside their houses,
thinking, and then not wanting to get online dating
and just like sitting in their house
and they're wondering when it's gonna happen.
And it's literally won't happen
unless you get vulnerable and put yourself out there.
I know with my girlfriend now, when I first met her,
I made it very clear to her that I was interested with her
not as just friends.
We weren't just gonna learn some spiritual ideas
and talk about the universe.
We were gonna do that too
but there was also an intention
of a sexual attraction there.
And I made that very clear from the very beginning,
which also led to me leading,
which allowed her to then relax
and also to be kind of led in a way.
And as she said to me many times,
it was actually very attractive
that I was like that with her.
So with this, I will promise you,
and there was a big block
that I had for a long time with dating
because I wouldn't put myself out there and lead.
And what I found
is that once I started actually being vulnerable
and putting myself out there,
and not being afraid to rejection,
knowing that if I do get rejected,
it doesn't necessarily have to do with me not being worthy.
It just may not resonate or it may not be an actual fit
so it's actually information that's good.
But as I started to have the courage to do that,
I'm telling you, I had so many more people
as dating potentials
and I had so many more things coming to my life
from that moment going onwards.
So vulnerability is attractive
and vulnerability will help you to attract love
in a way that you can't even imagine.
Now, another thing I'll say about this
and the second thing that you can do,
the quality that you can have that will change everything
is having a vision in your life that you are moving towards
that doesn't necessarily have to do with the relationship.
So a lot of times people when they're attracting love,
they want the relationship.
They want the person.
And because they want it, they also lack it.
'Cause anything you want, you're saying I don't have.
So you're saying, "I want, I want, I want
'cause I don't have, I don't have, I don't have."
But also, they put so much energy
in the relationship bucket in their life
that they forget about themselves.
They abandon themselves.
And that's honestly the key
and one of the cures to the biggest abandonment wound
that will block love for you,
the biggest wound that will block love to you,
which is the abandonment wound.
Because if you're afraid of being vulnerable,
it was probably because maybe you had emotionally
or physically abandoning parents growing up
or they physically or emotionally abandoned you.
And then you made a choice and a meaning that said,
"I'm not worthy.
There's something wrong with me."
And then what happens is normally we abandon ourselves
to make other people happy,
which is not sexually attractive,
to abandon yourselves and to have like a lack of boundaries
to make everybody else pleased
because then it's not being really vulnerable.
It's being who I want everyone else to be
versus being who I came here to be.
Now another aspect of this that I recommend,
I just got done doing a three-day live shift experience.
It finally happened.
And it happened here in Austin, Texas.
And part of the event was I share a little bit
about these things I used to do,
this little scavenger hunt that I went on,
where I had to get out of my old identity
with a couple friends of mine,
my friend, Rebecca and a couple other friends.
And I went up out in public
and I did things that were almost kind of ridiculous
but like completely outside of my comfort zone
that helped me rewire my identity.
One of them was actually I had to go a store,
Natural Grocers in Sedona,
and convinced two people that I lost my purple ferret
and asked them to help me find it.
They had to help me for like five minutes
to try to find my purple ferret.
And I did this and it was like,
I remember just in my head about it
walking up and down the aisles
and then I just decided to finally go for it.
And when I went for it, I got into state.
I was having fun with these two ladies and they loved it.
At the end, they wanted photos
and they thought it was the coolest thing ever
and I knew they were gonna tell their grandkids
about it and stuff.
That's what they told me at least.
They're were super excited to share that with their family.
And it was this thing
where you realize how much you care about
what other people think of you.
But as you get into this energy of the unknown,
magic happens.
I watched 80 people at my life event go out into the world
to do these challenges in groups of four.
And they came back so magnetic
and so alive with so many breakthroughs.
And it's because they committed to getting into the unknown.
And I'm telling you, the more you step out of the known,
the known is what you think, feel, and act,
it's on autopilot.
The more you step out of that,
the more you're then gonna be in the unknown,
the more magic can actually happen.
And when I did that with my friend, Rebecca
back in Sedona like a year or two ago,
everywhere we went, people were attracted to our energy
because it was so different.
It was like a pattern interrupt.
So don't be afraid also to own your weird.
Own your weird.
If I was afraid of people thinking I'm a nerd
because I'm a "Harry Potter" nerd,
if I was self-conscious of this, it's not attractive.
I'm like, "Oh, you don't like 'Harry Potter?'
It's just this thing I like from childhood.
I just have emotional connection to it.
Blah, blah, blah."
But I don't explain myself.
If I'm like, "Yes, I like 'Harry Potter.'
I think it's the dopiest movies ever,"
that's what I believe,
most likely that's gonna be attractive
at least to the right people
but also just 'cause I own it.
Own your insecurities. It's attractive.
If you feel like, "Oh I have a freckle right here
and I have this thing on my eyebrow and it just makes me,"
remember, people feel what you feel.
If you are self-conscious about it,
they will feel that off of you.
If you own it, that's attractive.
So own your insecurities and feature your flaws.
The things you perceive as your flaws,
you can feature them and own them.
And that alone is attractive.
So the third thing and the third process of this
that I wanna share is a mix of two things.
There was a moment when I made the choice,
and it's kind of similar to the first one vulnerability,
but there was a moment I remember
before I attracted Heather into my life,
it was, I made the choice to open my heart.
I made the choice to put myself out there,
but I made the choice to stop judging also other people.
I know this sounds interesting.
But I realized I had this thing
where I had this such a high standard with who I could date.
And it was like all of these characteristics
and all these things
and I would block out so many people
because there was like this subconscious judgment
that I would have where somebody
had to be into spirituality, had to do this, had to do that.
And I was talking to friends about this yesterday
'cause I have a friend who met somebody
that like she really likes.
And there's like these different characteristics
that this guy has.
It's like perfect.
But I can see that there's one or two little things
that she's a little bit iffy about,
but it's like I can also see
that we have this checklist in our mind
of what we need or want
and it ends up sometimes I think being
an emotional availability block,
because then it keeps us single.
It's a self-sabotage thing.
It's like, well, can't you just have it all?
Instead of having sometimes stereotypical characteristics,
like, oh he's gotta this tall exactly,
he's gotta have this kind of job
and make this monthly income and all these things,
focus on the qualities and how you would feel
in a relationship that maybe is very safe.
And the thing is, is as you focus on those qualities,
you open up the universe
because you're not having a checklist.
Sometimes in a checklist is a self-sabotage block
that keeps you single.
Doesn't mean you shouldn't have standards,
but it does mean to become aware
that the more judgements you have that you're putting out,
the more you will meet people that are also very picky.
And I had to drop my judgements.
And the other side of this as well
that I did that changed everything, by the way,
is I started letting go of outcome.
I realized I was so attached to outcome of how dates went,
of what people thought about me
that it would keep my energy resistant.
But the more I let go of outcome
and the more I was having fun in the moment,
the more things would just smoothen,
the more attractive I could tell people were perceiving
of my energy.
And it's because I was in the moment.
I wasn't trying to get their approval in the future.
I wasn't worrying about the past
or tying myself to that.
I was in the present moment.
And when people are going on a date
because they wanna enjoy themselves,
it's very different than going on a date
because you want someone to sleep with you
or you want their validation.
Go out with the intention of having fun.
Go out with the intention of connecting to other people.
That changes everything.
When you change your intention, people feel your intention.
And if your attention is tied to an outcome,
it appears needy.
It resists the energy.
When your intention and attention is tied
to just having fun in the moment and enjoying the process,
it's attractive.
These things change everything.
Now, something I'm gonna be doing brand new,
this is one of the first times I'm ever announcing this
is a 21-day confident love challenge.
So if you wanna attract love,
if you wanna be the most confident version of yourself,
if you're in a relationship or single,
this will help you to remove the blocks
to you being the most confident you
to feeling more connective, love, boundaries,
and connection within yourself.
If you wanna join this,
it's gonna be July 1st through July 21st.
This is gonna be a brand new challenge.
If you join the magnetic love challenge, this is different.
So join that of the confident love challenge.
If you wanted to see what's possible,
read the testimonials from the last challenge we did
and I'll put it below
or you can go to aarondoughty.com/love, L-O-V-E.
And other than that,
if you want a video that will also help you
to wire in all these ideas
to help you make you more a confident AF,
it has to do with letting go,
watch this video right here.
It will change your life.
People feel what you feel about you.
The energy inside of our bodies are contagious.
And based on how we feel about ourselves,
that energy is being emanated out
and other people are responding to us based on that.