- Promise me you won't do anything stupid.
(dramatic music)
(gasps) - Don't move!
(clatters)
(groans)
(grunts)
- Oh, shit!
- I think we miscalculated.
(upbeat music)
(beeps)
- I'm on a treasure hunt.
(record scratches) (laughing)
- What?
Oh, shit, you're serious.
- [Narrator] Outer Banks be like,
"Maybe the real treasure was the love
we found along the way.
No, I want my fucking gold."
(beeps)
- Are you checking yourself out?
- [John] No, I'm not.
- Look at him.
(seductive music)
(shouting)
(beeps)
- See ya later, sweetheart.
♪ I went off at ten ♪
♪ Live another day again ♪
♪ Feelin' so thankful, a grin ♪
♪ Take another shot to win ♪
(beeps) - I think that's fuckin'-
- [Woman] Yeah, that is hot.
- (slurping) I'm sorry, I'm a little drooley.
- Some people need jobs so that they can eat.
- [Narrator] What did that plant do to you?
Jesus. - What the fuck?!
- You're exactly who I thought you were, Sarah Cameron.
- Did you just yeet over that chain?
I'm calling the shots now,
and to start, I'm driving.
- Okay.
- I can't drive stick.
- (pops lips) Got it.
(laughing)
- On the count of three.
Ready, one.
- [Both] Two.
(screaming)
- Screaming on the inside.
(shushing)
- Are you kidding me?!
My God.
(dramatic music)
- Don't. - Excuse you.
- [John] Sorry.
- [Narrator] If looks could kill,
we'd be bringing out a body bag right now.
(swooshes)
- [Narrator] Honestly, who needs enemies to lovers?
- [Man] Sarah, is that you?
- Get down, shit!
- [Narrator] When you can have idiots to lovers instead.
- Can someone fill me in on what the frick just happened?
- Yesterday, I didn't even know who you were.
And today, I'm like Sarah Cameron.
This didn't happen.
I'm sorry.
I just- - Shut up.
(dramatic music)
- My emotions!
- Aw, that was beautiful.
- Love it.
- John B.! - 65 miles per hour
and rising with a possible (drowned out).
- Sarah!
- Where the hell have you been, loca?
(thundering)
- [Narrator] Oh, to be on a boat and make out
and ignore all my problems.
(waves crashing)
- Hold on!
- What?
What?
What!
(dramatic opera music)
- To John B.
- [Narrator] Meanwhile, John B. and Sarah.
- Wanna get married?
- By the power vested in me,
I now pronounce us husband and wife.
- And that was dumb.
- I want to get married, I want to have babies,
before I'm like 26.
Do you have health insurance?
- That's funny,
because she's not actually my girlfriend, right?
- What is she then?
- Tell him.
- We're married, we're married.
- But at this-
- We're married. - You said this-
We're married.
- I'm with him.
- [Man] (laughs) Gotcha.
(beeps and swooshes) (water sloshing)
(pops)
(suspenseful music)
- Promise me you won't do anything stupid.
Promise me you won't do anything stupid.
(grunts) (splashes)
- You had one job!
- John B.!
(growls) (splashes)
John B.!
- Dude, what the hell happened?
How'd you get those scars?
I was attacked by-
- [Narrator] Alligator.
- What?
(dramatic music)
- Sarah, we did it, we did it!
Oh, my god (relieved laughter).
- I'm shot.
♪ Silent night ♪
♪ Holy night ♪
♪ All is calm ♪
♪ All is bright ♪
- Again, seriously?
♪ Round yon virgin ♪
- No shit?
That's intense.
(upbeat music) - Fuck Romeo and Juliet,
I want one of these two have.
- No.
(blows raspberry)
Oh, my god.
Get in the car!
- [Man] Get a room!
- I now pronounce you-
- [Narrator] And game.
- Uh-huh.
(clicks)