We get a lot of questions from our past, like a lot.
So today, before you ask, we're going to go ahead and answer some of them.
So I was brought up in a ultra-Orthodox community,
very little connection to the outside world.
And the life that I live right now is a modern Orthodox life.
I'm still within the confounds of the religion.
I keep Shabbat.
I keep my levels of Kosher.
And I live a religious lifestyle, but I'm still much more integrated into
the outside world and secular things.
Yes, Batsheva and I still keep Shabbos.
Shabbos is one of my favorite traditions of Judaism.
I don't keep it anymore
according to like the halachic standard, which is like the Jewish law,
but I still practice it in my own way.
For those 25 hours, I don't use my phone and I get to spend quality
time with my friends and family.
Some people might have heard what a kosher phone is,
and is curious what that is.
How does she look for a job if she's still living in Monsey?
Like, if she has a kosher phone, how is she supposed to look for a job?
A kosher phone
is a phone that has no internet access.
It's like a 2005 flip phone that literally could just, you can only use it for calling.
Because you don't want any other distractions that the phone might bring.
There is also no picture messaging.
So you basically can call someone and text somebody on it.
Really, the truth is my mom's challah .
Honestly, I have no words.
I've tried probably at least a thousand challah in my lifetime.
And it's by far the best.
She's an amazing cook.
I love a bagel, lox and cream cheese.
Latke and sour cream. And herring and chopped liver.
A pastrami on rye with deli mustard and a pickle.
My favorite Jewish food is cholent.
Universally, Jews have like this hot pot, where they just like threw some stuff in.
Every cholent is basically different.
You can make whatever you like.
Somethings that I do different than most people, in my cholent is
I put corn in it.
And sweet potato and some keenwah sometimes.
So yeah.
Cholent is like a fun dish to make.
And also everyone usually loves it.
I love all that! That's like, I love Jewish food!
Are they Shomer?
They're obviously Shomer, Sholmo.
Then they probably will end up getting married faster.
Shomer Negiah is basically...
Well so, Shomer means to like watch or gaurd.
And Negiah means to touch.
Shomer Negiah is not touching between boys and girls
when, you know, before your married.
It's, I mean, I don't have a hard time making friends, but like
past that, I'm like, I get like weird cause like it's not, there's
something, that's never a part of me.
One of the reasons we got married so young was because our parents decided that if,
you know, if we're gonna, we can't, we can't just date for however
long we want, because of this issue.
So it was either break up or get married.
And we got married.
One word.
Surreal.
The first time was actually, for me, across the country, away from Monsey
in San Francisco of all places.
I had so many firsts there. And actually my identity of being ultra-Orthodox
I kept a secret from my school for the entire year that I was there.
So all my firsts were just with myself.
Somebody ordered a pepperoni pizza one night, and that was my
first time having pepperoni pizza.
One time we went out to lunch and I had a pulled pork sandwich.
First time.
I remember my most memorable experience was just ordering a sandwich with
fresh mozzarella and chicken breasts and a slice of tomato in white bread.
I remember biting into the sandwich
and being like
Oh my God!
How come I've never done this before!
And going out on a Saturday wearing pants.
Becoming friends with people from different parts of the world, different ethnicities,
different religions was incredible.
My mind was just growing at such a rapid pace, like never before.
This is something that people ask me all the time.
I grew up in a place where there are really strict,
modest guidelines on how you can dress.
Everything had to be below your elbow, above your collar bone, below your knees.
In high school, you had to have your skirt be three inches below your knee.
So my school actually gave out magnetic rulers and they
would clip onto your skirt.
You could see
if your knee like hit that mark and you didn't really want it below that amount.
Cause if it wasn't like smack in the middle of your leg, then that
wasn't considered good either. So.
Now, I live a very different lifestyle.
No, not at all.
It wasn't even a possibility for me to think that way, because I had no example
of a person who's ever done that before.
So.
No.
Most of my friends that I grew up with, I have no connection with, you know, we
just lost touch. And I have other friends
I have another really close friend of mine who also is no longer religious.
And he's one of my best friends still today.
As I was slowly leaving the community, at age 16, I started wearing pants secretly.
I started eating non-kosher food secretly, and I had to keep it hidden from my
friends and family, because I was scared of what they would think of me, how
disappointed they would be.
Right now, luckily, I have about
two friends that I'm still friends with from the community. My best friend to
this day, she has been by my side always, and we just have agreed to disagree.
And I think it's the most beautiful thing.
And that's pretty much how my relationships have changed.
Yes, I was.
I didn't really have
many restrictions, other than what most parents put on their
children in terms of content.
For my elementary school, we had to sign a paper saying
that we had no TV in our house.
Cause if you had a TV, you weren't allowed to go to the school.
I had a rabbi tell me in class, once that even just going on internet sent
you straight to hell. You don't have to do anything bad just by like logging on.
And it's like, see you down there.
I would say that we started being able to watch some shows when I was
maybe like seven, eight years old.
Around that time we watched I Love Lucy, Get Smart, Gilligan's Island.
Like really, really old-time shows.
My mom was really strict on what we did watch.
If we watched cartoons, like we couldn't watch SpongeBob because
they were chutzpadik, which is being disrespectful to their parents.
I never watched SpongeBob. So I'm like, uh huh, sure,
Patrick did that.
Yeah.
100%.
One aspect is this deep feeling, inside, that I know why I'm here and
what I'm doing in this world.
Being a part of the community is that you have
a structure, a purpose, a goal.
If you're religious, you have, okay.
If I do the right thing.
I'm going to heaven.
But if you're not religious, it's like.
Well is there anything next... or am I just like a gene that happened to be.
Now, I have no idea what I'm doing.
I have no idea what my purpose is, and it's very hectic,
but at the same time, very freeing and empowering.
Um, and so I'm grateful.
There's a, there's a lot of gratitude that you're taught in
the community and generosity.
There's a lot of charity and people helping other people that
are in positions to be able to help people do so very easily.
And... frequently.
Thank you for watching.
I hope I answered some of the questions that you're wondering
before you ask.
Cut!
Scene! Done!