hey friend I'm mom too and I'm gonna
teach you how to be a better mom to your
teenage boy I've had three teenage boys
myself and I want you to know that you
know when we have those struggle moments
and we're not just quite connecting I've
got some great ideas just for you
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hey you probably noticed I am in the
garage right now it's all about location
location location if you want to be that
best mom that you can possibly be a tier
4 teenage boy you gotta go where they go
you gotta be where they are my son
happens to be one that loves being in
the garage
well actually this son my son's have all
had you know chosen their favorite
locations but this particular one that's
a teenager right now he loves being in
the garage so you got to figure out
where is your son
where does he spend his time is it in
his room is it out fixing his car is it
you know at the field is it on his video
games wherever it is find that location
because that really matters you want to
find the location because that's where
they are that's where there's been in
their time and that's how you're gonna
get to know your son so I want to share
with you I three really awesome tips and
I might throw a few more in there
because so you got to listen look got a
listen while we're talking here but the
first one is welcomed their friends like
open arms to their friends right here
welcomed their friends no matter what
they look like no matter what you
experience that with them just welcomed
their friends like on Friday night you
be the one to buy the pizza and have
them all come over to your house like if
you offer pizza they're gonna be hanging
out over at your house and then you're
gonna be able to get to know them get to
experience them and that will make such
a difference in you connecting with your
son he will feel like you care he'll
feel like you like wanna be a support to
him in his life
so welcome his friends and really try
your best to not be judgmental
don't you know look at their appearance
and listen to what they say I mean you
you of course those are things that you
want to listen for and you want to watch
for so that you can help guide them but
not in that moment in that moment you
want to just bring them in and love them
and care about them and when they feel
your love when the friends feel your
love your son's gonna go oh my mom
cool she like really knows my friends
she wants my friends around and that
makes oh such a difference it can make
such a difference in you being able to
connect deeper with your son number two
let them make some of their own choices
ah so many times as moms we want to
control their life we want to let
totally be in charge I know I've done it
before we want to just totally control
if you allow them to make some of their
choices they're gonna make some mistakes
and mistakes are some of the best
learning experiences for your kids it's
hard I know because we're looking at the
choices that they're making more
thinking in our minds oh my goodness if
he does that and this is gonna happen
but when your kids can make when your
son can make a choice and he can have a
little consequence from that choice he
is going to learn and it will serve him
literally for the rest of his life when
you allow your kids when they're
teenagers to make choices and have
consequences at that stage of their life
usually the consequences are not as
great as when they make those choices
and they have like really big
consequences when they're a lot older so
it's good to have these choices and
consequences when they're younger
because those choices and consequences
usually don't have as dramatic
casualties now sometimes you do have to
kind of intervene because you know if
it's a big deal and it's gonna make a
really huge impact in their life you may
want to jump in and have some little
guidance experience with them but
letting your kids have make some of
their own choices is really a good a
really great thing to do just like step
back and let them make some choices so
that's what I would suggest for number
two now number three this is a big one
stop being so critical like stop being
so critical where this starts often as
women we tend to be critical on
ourselves you know we're thinking about
our selves more thinking oh my goodness
I'm fat and I've gained 10 pounds or
this or that
we are critical about ourselves and when
we when we're so critical about
ourselves what happens is that criticism
of cells like it gets really deep and it
gets to a point where we can't handle
anymore being critical of self so we
take that critical of self and we turn
it on the people that we love the most
our kids our family our you know the
people that really really carry about
care about so as as you find yourself
being critical on self stop it stop it
because that critical of of self will
reflect out on the people around you and
and and when your kids feel like you're
being critical of them they don't want
to be around you that you're like it's
it's so repelling it pushes them away
when you're constantly in their bedroom
and telling them this and telling them
that and and and and picking apart
everything they do they don't like it
they don't like it so then therefore
they don't want to be around you so if
you want your if you want your kids to
be around you you really want to stop
being critical and it starts with you
first you gotta stop being critical of
yourself because when you are less
critical of you you'll be less critical
with them all right that was number
three number four let's see here
number four it's a big one they simply
want to feel your love they want to know
that you love them they really want to
know you love them they and and the way
they feel your love every kid's
different you know some of my son's you
know as they've been growing up they
love it when I hug them and and they
love it when I am just like sitting
right next to him and touching him I've
got a son that just wants to be hugged
and touched all the time and so I did
that with him but then I have two sons
that they don't want that as much one a
little bit in hiki's he's grown into
being more of a hugger and a toucher
and the other one I've had to work for a
while to get him to be more affectionate
and I'm a secret let me just tell you a
secret this is what I did I began to
with this son I knew that you know he's
a teenager and he's on his phone all the
time and I knew I had to like meet him
where he was and that was his
communication device
so I began a whole like I didn't know
how long it was going to take but I
literally began I texted him literally
every single day and I found something
about him that I thought was really cool
and I would text him great job on your
grades or sometimes I would have to like
like search my brain to find something
awesome to text him about but I
seriously did I would text him every
single day and list lasted for about six
months after that six months I still
text him maybe not every single day but
guess what happened at night he used to
just come home and he'd go straight to
bed and I wouldn't even see him and I'd
have to go like where's my son and I had
to go find him and and you know say good
night to him but now he comes into my
bedroom because you know obviously he
goes to bed way later than I do but now
he comes into my room and he like just
jumps on the bed hangs out with me tells
me about his day and we are connecting
that would have never happened had I not
gone to his location first with his
phone I communicated to him through his
communication device and that is what
made a difference for him he knew at
that point in time that I really loved
him I really cared about him and so now
he comes to me to feel that love and it
is really really cool I just I really
want you to have the best experience
connecting with your teenage boy teenage
boys are amazing and it can be the best
experience of your life by connecting
with those teenage boys that connection
you would get with them during those
can literally last a lifetime
so make a point to do these four things
welcome their friends let them make some
choices
stop being so critical and really let
them feel your love you're awesome
you're gonna got this you got this we'll
see ya hey did you like that do you
think it's gonna make a difference well
I'll bet you that because you're here
you probably have a really good idea
yourself leave it in the comments below
I would love to hear your ideas I'm sure
everybody else would too would make a
difference for all of us you know I I
want to just invite you to subscribe to
this channel my husband and I we are
we're just passionate about
relationships and connecting and and
just really making a difference in
people's lives so subscribe to this
channel so you can get the best updates
in connecting and and just really
connecting with your family I've got a
class it's called master your influence
I want to invite you to my husband
actually teaches the class Kirk Duncan
it's amazing it's called master your
influence there's a link right here that
you can connect to and get yourself
signed up
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you