>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME KATHRYN HAHN!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ♪
>> HI!
>> Stephen: WELCOME.
HAPPY CONVENTIONS.
>> OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE ON THE LIVE SHOW.
AS LONG AS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE CONVENTIONS, IS THIS TRUE
YOU'RE FROM CLEVELAND?
>> I AM.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE FAMILY THERE?
>> MY WHOLE FAMILY IS THERE.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
EVERYONE IS THERE.
IN THE '80s THERE WAS AN AD CAMPAIGN, IF NEW YORK'S AN
APPLE, CLEVELAND IS A PLUM, WHICH WAS OUR CITY'S AD
CAMPAIGN.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
YEAH.
>> Stephen: DO THEY LIKE THE FACT THE CONVENTION IS THERE?
WHAT'S IT DOING TO THE CITY?
>> THEY'RE IN THE SUBURBS.
MY DAD, I MEAN, I THINK BOTH ARE VERY EXCITED ABOUT THE CLEANING
UP OF PUBLIC SQUARE, THEY KEEP TALKING ABOUT.
BUT MY MOM IS, LIKE, OH, HONEY, I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE NEAR
THERE, THE GUNS AND THE GAS MASKS, IT'S NUTS!
>> Stephen: HOW MANY WEEKENDS A YEAR DO YOU SPEND AT THE ROCK
AND ROLL HALL OF FAME?
>> I HAVE NEVER GONE!
>> Stephen: REALLY?
NO!
>> Stephen: THEY HAVE THINGS JIMI HENDRIX TOUCHED.
>> MY MOM SAYS I'M NOT SPENDING 25 BUCKS TO SEE A SWEATY T-SHIRT
ON PLEXIGLASS.
>> Stephen: IT'S APPARENTLY A PRETTY COOL PLACE.
>> IT'S APPARENTLY AMAZING.
WHAT DO YOU THINK'S GOING ON BETWEEN DONALD TRUMP AND MELANIA
RIGHT NOW.
IF YOU WERE MARRIED TO DONALD TRUMP -- KEEP BREATHING -- AND
HE AND HIS STAFF WERE TO LET YOU TELL A SPEECH THAT CLEARLY HAD
PARTS THAT HAD BEEN CRIBBED, WOULD YOU LAY INTO HIM?
>> WELL, I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY THAT WOMAN HAS INFINITE, UNFATHOMABLE
DEPTHS OF PATIENCE TO BE ABLE TO PUT UP WITH THAT BLOW-HARD CRAP
FOR THAT MANY YEARS!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
I MEAN, I FEEL LIKE SHE WOULD BE --
>> Stephen: LOVE.
IT'S REAL, TRUE LOVE.
>> Stephen: IT IS.
IT IS.
I FEEL LIKE I MIGHT BE WORKING A MELANIA EYE TODAY.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE A LITTLE SMOKEY SMA DO GOING.
>> IT'S AN EASY LOOK FOR A SIMPLE MOM ON THE GO.
>> Stephen: THE MOVIE IS BA DA DMOMS," WHO GIVE UP TRYING TO BE
PERFECT AND JUST LET HER RIP.
>> LET HER RIP -- RRRRIP!
>> Stephen: JUST FUN.
(LAUGHTER) HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE?
>> 19 AND COUNTING.
>> Stephen: YOU WEAR IT WELL.
THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: MM-HMM.
I HAVE TWO KIDS.
>> Stephen: AGES?
ABOUT TO BE 7 AND 9.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
YEAH.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU A GOOD MOM OR A BAD MOM, IN YOUR OPINION?
>> STEPHEN, I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN.
I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I MEAN, I DEFINITELY REMEMBER
WHEN MY SON WAS NOT EVEN A YEAR -- I MEAN, HE WAS A LITTLE
TEENY BABY, TEENY, CRYING SO HARD.
I WAS, LIKE, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
SWEATING PROFUSELY, HE WASN'T EATING AND I SAID, WHAT'S THE
MATTER?
THIS IS MY BAD MOM STORY.
I LITERALLY OPENED HIS DIAPER BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS
SENSITIVE TO URINE BECAUSE I HAD BEEN LETTING HIM SIT IN IT FOR
DAYS.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE PICKLING HIM.
>> THE LITTLEST ONE OF MY HAIRS HAD WOUND ITSELF AROUND HIS
BALLS, LIKE, FIVE TIMES.
(LAUGHTER) HORRIBLE MOTHER!
I STILL WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT THINKING ABOUT THAT.
ALMOST CASTRATED MY SON.
>> Stephen: YOU THINK YOU WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
THINKING ABOUT IT.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOUR SON IS GOING TO SAY TO THE THERAPIST, I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M
ATTRACTED TO MESH BRIEFS, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A
THING FOR ME!
(LAUGHTER) >> YES, MOTHERHOOD.
>> Stephen: SO MUCH IS ASKED OF MOMS, AND YOU'RE A WORKING
MOM.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE AN ACTRESS IN DEMAND.
DO YOU FEEL LIKE, OH, MY GOD, I HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE AT TIMES?
>> NO, IT'S VERY CLEAR.
IT'S MY CLEAR, STEPHEN.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
(LAUGHTER) >> Stephen: WELL, YOU'VE GOT
TO.
YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.
>> NO, NO.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT MOM DOESN'T WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND
THINKS WHEN THEY HAVE TO LEAVE FOR WORK, THAT, AH!
SOMETHING DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT ABOUT THIS!
IT'S SUCKS BUT I'M LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A GIG.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU DRAGGED THEM WITH THE SET AND TOLD THEM,
MOMMY'S GOING TO PRETEND, DON'T EVER DO THE THINGS MOMMY'S GOING
TO PRETEND TO DO.
>> IT'S SO AWFUL.
THEY JUST LIKE THE CRAFTS.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU BEEN WITH THEM WHEN YOU'RE WITH A PRETEND
CHILD?
>> THEY'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING I'VE DONE NEVER.
MOMMY'S BODY OF WORK IS NOT MEANT FOR CHILDREN, BUT THEY GET
IT, AND, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE CIRCUS KIDS.
THEY WERE BROUGHT UP IN A CIRCUS AND ARE TERRIFIC.
>> Stephen: I DIDN'T LET MY DAUGHTER SEE MY WORK IN THE OLD
CASES SPECIAL WHEN I WAS PLAYING A CHARACTER.
I WAS DOING THE CHARACTER INTO THE PHONE ONE DAY SAYING PRETTY
TERRIBLE THINGS IN CHARACTER WHEN WE WERE WRITING THE SCRIPT.
I GOT OFF THE PHONE AND SHE HAD BEEN WATCHING ME 20 MINUTES,
LIKE THIS -- (LAUGHTER)
AND THEN SHE SAID, I THINK I UNDERSTAND -- YOU DON'T MEAN
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
I SAID, YES, DADDY DOESN'T MEAN WHAT HE'S SAYING FOR A LIVING.
(LAUGHTER) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING
HERE.
GOOD TO HAVE MET YOU!
"BAD MOMS" WILL BE IN THEATERS JULY 29.
KATHRYN HAHN, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY N.A.F.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ♪