-[ Whispering ] Hey, guys.
It's me, Nick.
I'm here to do a little ASMR for you today.
I hope everyone's having the best -- the absolutely best
day. [ Clicking ]
I use this comb to brush my pubes.
[ Clicking ]
And I like to try to bring the same level of calm
and noise to my pubes and ball sack
as I do to these videos.
I'm so excited...
[ Crunching ]
...to eat celery, which actually has negative calories.
[ Long inhale ] And, of course, oh --
I won't show this to you yet.
But I think you'll really like this.
[ Rustling ] Yes.
Queen. [ Rustling ]
So when you wanna think about relaxing,
think about -- yeah. [ Scratching ]
Oh.
[ Tapping ]
Oh.
This is a Caucasian man.
[ Tapping ]
Yes, to be able to tip-tap on a Caucasian man's head.
[ Tapping ]
Then, oh, so calming to be able to scratch.
[ Scratching ]
To be able to scratch Jason Statham's head.
[ Scratching ]
Think about the movie, Meg-- "Megalodon."
A huge shark, a prehistoric shark,
attacking us.
But Jason Statham is there to save the day,
as he always does.
Jason Statham. Jason...Statham
[ Long inhale ] Now we've got...
[ Lower-pitch tapping ]
Oh.
Are we riding the horse, or is the horse riding us?
Who knows?
[ Lower-pitch tapping ]
This boot belonged to Ashton Kutcher
on the set of "The Ranch."
Not "The Ranch," the show, but Ranch dressing.
[ Drip sound ] Ranch dressing.
[ Dripping sound ]
[ Lower-pitch tapping ]
That's my balls leaking,
because I scratch them too much.
[ Drip sound ]
[ Rustling sound ] Oh, what's that?
A feather.
[ Rustling sound ]
A feather on scruff.
I'm allergic to this feather.
I'm gonna break out in hives as soon as I take this feather
off of my face.
Do you hear that?
[ Rustling sound ]
This feather was one of Big Bird's pubes.
[ Rustling sound ]
Yeah, you really wanna get that right up there.
Get that feather right up in your nose and scratch around.
[ Rustling sound ]
Yes.
People don't realize that Big Bird --
the carpets don't match the drapes.
[ Rustling sound ]
Big Bird dyes his pubes.
[ Tapping ]
Oh, look at these eyeballs.
[ Tapping ]
They're looking at me.
You, of course, remember the famous phrase
from Robert DeNiro --
"Are you looking at me?
Are you looking at me? You must be looking at me."
[ Tapping ]
And that, of course, is from the film, "Little Fockers."
[ Light tapping ]
[ Tapping ]
[ Rattling ]
I should take those balls out of my mouth.
I should really take those balls out of my mouth.
[ Tapping ]
Okay. [ Swishing sound ]
Thank you so much for watching.
I so appreciate it.
[ Light rustling sound ]
Have a blessed day.
[ Loud raspberry sound ]