[Mark:] Whoa!
Hi.
Okay.
[Jack:] Let me just scooch my hand closer to yours!
[Mark:] (Laughing) Please don't.
What does this button do?
[Jack:] Eh..
[Mark:] Oh [Wade:] Oh
[Mark:] OOOOOOHH [Jack:] Oh
[Wade:] Oh I guess we're playing! [Mark:] OOOOHH
[Mark:] You assholes are about to get a face full of bullet because I—
[Wade:] Oh yeah?
[Mark:] —am just an old pro at this one.
[Wade:] Oh!
[Mark:] Okay...
[Jack:] Oh god...
[Wade:] NO!
[Jack:] Aw bye gun!
[Jack:] Oh my god this is the worst.
[Mark:] Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah you guys just need to—
you gu- well- keep it up—the complaining—because that means I'm gonna win.
[Jack:] The bullet is mine!
[Mark:] Okay, good job. Have you opened your gun yet?
[Jack:] No. *Laughs*
[Mark:] See, there's your problem. *Laughs*
[Jack:] Did you?!
[Mark:] No, but I'm gonna!
[Jack:] Okay... [Wade:] Oh! My bullets, I just threw them all at you!
[Jack:] OH shit
[Jack:] Oh shit okay [Mark:] I- thank you for the excess bullets *Laughs*
[Jack:] If I just shake my gun at you, [Mark:] Uh! Oh! Oh!
[Jack:] Does that work? [Mark:] I got it! I got it! You guys are boned! You guys are so boned.
[Jack:] Oh, fuck! I dropped my gun!
[Jack:] Oh my god. This is like a fucking exercise in madness.
[Mark:] You don't know madness until you know what I've got (inaudible).
[Mark:] WOOOOAH! NO!
All right
[Jack:] I have gun open, I have a bullet in hand, I'm about to put it in.
[Mark:] NOOW [Jack:] My bullet's backwards though, does that matter?
[Mark:] Now [Jack:] Is the game gonna be.. forgiving?
No, do you think it's gonna be forgiving?
[Mark:] Alright, I got a bullet.
[Wade:] Shit. I have no bullets left.
[Mark:] Hang on.
[Jack:] Okay
[Jack:] (Laughing) I can fucking see your arm
[Mark:]Shut up, it's gonna work, it's gonna work.
[Wade:] Wait, do I have a bullet in my hand?
[Mark:] Oh, come on!
[Jack:] Okay, I'm just touching my bullet. There you go, nice bullet...
[Mark:] Wait I got it okay.
I just gotta get it in the gun. I don't get why when you don- when you stop moving your mouse, your arm still moves!
[Mark:] Okay. That doesn't.. [Jack:] Yeah, what the fuck?
[Jack:] Okay. I can't grab this
[Jack:] fuckin'.. [Mark:] I can't see if I *Laughs*
The way you're holding your gun, it's like you've got to casually perched on two fingers.
[Jack:] Ugh, this fucking sucks man
[Mark:] This doesn't suck, you suck.
[Jack:] Well, it's a bit of a fuckin' 50-50 situation here man
Please, can some of you figure this out and shoot me in the head?
[Mark:] No [Wade:] I can't get it in!
[Jack:] Can you grab the bullet for me? Can you... [Mark:] Which one, this one?
[Jack:] No, not you! My fucking hand. [Mark:] This one?
[Mark:] I can't grab it either so it doesn't fucking matter.
[Wade:] You were gonna help him get a bullet? You wouldn't help me get a bullet
[Mark:] I wasn't gonna help him I was gonna taunt him, but it didn't work cuz I- Oh come on! No! NO!
[Jack:] (Inaudible) [Wade:] WHY WON'T THIS GET IN THE GUN!?
[Mark:] It's-s-s cuz you're stupid and it's- your dumb! I can't- they're too far away!
[Mark:] AUUUGGHH
[Mark:] Just- NOOOO
I got a fingy on the gun
I am rotating it into position
[Mark:] I have got the [Jack:] Oh my god..
[Jack:] No
[Mark:] Nooo [Jack:] NO
[Jack:] NO [Mark:] You've got it. No, I got it
[Jack:] No, no, give me the gun. Give me the gun! [Mark:] No, don- do- DON'T you dare
[Jack:] Give me the gun [Mark:] Don't you slap my gun around.
[Wade:] Have you gotten a bullet in yet?
[Mark:] I have not.
[Jack:] If I had, I'd have won!
[Mark:] You guys are boned in the extreme. [Jack gasps]
[Jack:] If I can grab a bullet, I am so golden right now.
[Jack:] You don't even have your gun in your hand!
[Mark:] No, no! I- I'm not gonna have my gun in my hand. I'm gonna keep the gun on the ground!
[Wade:] Open!
[Wade:] OPEN!
[Jack:] (Laughing) I can just see your shadow.
[Mark:] I see the gun glitching the hell out on your screen.
[Mark:] Okay [Jack:] My hand is here. The bullet is touching it, but the bullet no go in finger.
[Mark:] I'm not wearing pants by the way. I just thought you'd all like to know that [Jack:] How? How?
[Jack:] How (Inaudible) [Mark:] Don't touch my gun. Do not- if you touch my gun I will murder you [Wade:] Open this for me!
Yes, yes!
[Mark:] Yes...Hang on... Whoa what is your head do-?
That guy's drunk obviously he deserves to be shot.
[Jack:] Did you get it in? [Mark:] I got it in...uh oh!
Wait, that's the wrong way, hang on... [Jack:] OH MY GOD!
[Jack:] That's a precarious position!
[Mark:] I don't like you holding my hand, but don't, no, ah shit no!
No, hang on, everybody hold on!
NO! The bullet popped out!
WHAT! NO!
(high-pitched screams) NOOOO! AUUUGGH!
[Jack:] Oh I dropped my gun. It's all over.
It's all over. Now my gun's over there!
[Mark:] I can't reach it, I can't reach it.
[Jack:] Look at my fingers, like party on man!
[Wade:] Can you open my chamber for me?
[Jack:] I don't even have a gun man.
[Wade:] I know. You're dead.
So, you can help me win. [Mark:] Well, I mean two of us have to be shot before the end of this so I guess at least two of us-
[Jack:] TWO OF US HAVE TO BE SHOT?!
[Mark:] YES, two of us. NOOO COME BACK!
[Jack: (repetitively)] I don't care!
[Mark:] We can do this! We can murder each other! You just gotta belieeve!
[Wade:] I can't push that gun!
[pewp pewp noises]
[Jack:] YES! OH FUCK! (inaudible)
[Jack:] I want to break my own teeth somebody just shoot me. [Mark]: We're trying man. We're trying!
My guy-- sometimes his fingers pinch a lot, and sometimes they don't pinch at all. [Mark]: It's cuz if--what is hap--?
What is-- why is there a chair on the table?!
[Mark:] Oh I got it. I just need to--
No not the - NO NOT THAT WAY. TURN THE OTHER F*CKING WAY
Wade, flailing it like an idiot doesn't help. [Wade:] That's how I opened the chamber the last two times! [Mark:] You gotta push the button!
[Wade:] There's a button?!
You guys have no idea, the pain...
[Mark:] We're doing the same thing, Wade!
[Wade]: You guys don't understand
Jack: You guys don't understand..what it's like to have a Wade brain playing this game
You guys are playing with your normal human brains, I'm full Wade over here. Ok, I'm back where I was...
Wade: Is that how you're loading it?
YES it's how I'm loading (Mark noises) how do you think I'm loading it??
Wade: I thought you were holding (inaudible)
Jack: Oh, just, just please, please end me
Oh, you still have to pull the trigger
Yes, I have to, I have to, no, I have to pull the trigger I have to cock it back and then pull the trigger
Jack: Ohhhh my god
Hang on, I just need to get this gun in a proper
Uh, gun receiving position
Jack: Can I just throw my gun at someone hard enough to kill them?
No, don't touch my gun if I swear to god, Wade. I swear get the fuck away from my gun
Right now
Okay, you're too late my gun is cocked. I'm ready to rock, who's gonna get it
Eenie
Meenie
Alright hang on, I'm gonna line up the shot, ok, yeah let me know if this is on target [Jack]: Oh wait wait, I have to look at you as I do it
Okay here comes the bangy finger
Here comes the wangy ka-bangy
Okay, don't you move your head
It's - I'm not moving. It's okay
I'm gonna shoot you
Jack: I'M RIGHT HERE, I'm right here
I'm just gonna go for a body shot
Just a maxim- I can't pull the tri- How do I pull the trigger?
OOOOO
Grab the bar
I know I know you want to end the suffering, but I think I have to shoot Wade
Just because I don't think I physically can
Pull the trigger
Wade: Oh, so that's how it's gonna be is it?
Yes. I'm going for it, this is gonna be the one
Jack: What have you done?!
All right now, it's just the two of us
All right, let's call that a winner, let's call that a winner I-
Let's call Wade won cuz he's the first one out of this nightmare
Oh hey, whoa
(unintelligible male noises)
Jack: Oh no. I already knocked my drill over. NOOOOO
(Your hand is in my way) Got it got it got it got it got it
I got one! I got one
I got it. I got it. I got it.
Jack why did you drop yours? You see us?
Jack: I-I knocked it over by accident. Like ass you did! Man this game's loud now all the sudden
Can you turn mine off?
Okay hang on wait, okay? I'm setting that down
(bomb exploding noises)
That scared the shit out of me
(Mark, I'm sorry) Why are you doing that? Why is why is my arm going this way? What is happening? Why, no
Guys I
See only my crotch. What is happening? What's happening to me?
You're so right there, Jack
Jack: I, fuckin, I'm TRYING my best
Wade: Try better
Wade, we can do this, we can do this
(inspirational piano music)
Don't ask questions
Ok, alright, yeah, rip it off rip it off grab it grab it rip rip the lid off bundle it off
Just push it! Push
Just push it
Which way are you pushing? Who's- there, push, push
Okay, I've got two minutes. Alright perfect. Oh wait. I got it. Oh, I ripped a, uh oh
(more noises)
AHHHHhhhh
Well then
Yes, yes yes, yes, okay, she's off oh, it's off its off, okay
Noooo, NOOOOOO
Wait no we're fine
It's- I think it's fine
Okay, you got it you got it
No uh oh
It's fine. Read the instructions
Jack: I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING
There we go, I tossed the lid away
(laughs) We're both doing the same thing we're like lost in a fuckin rave or something
Wade: B2, I got B2.
We need C1
C1, got it. Oh my god, you're a genius. Okay, those are all down. Remove fuse A
Fuse A. It's it's under the sheet under the sheet, someone move that sheet very carefully. I think we're good on time
We maybe got a minute but we should probably book it
Yes! Oh...
Jack: Oh B's back in. B went back in...and now you knocked it out again
Oh fuck, shit
AhhHHHH
Set the knob to one and enter the code one five zero six four four oh oh oh that's good (bomb explodes)
We push it, there we go oh, I don't know where it went, but I'm ok with it, I got it I got it
We're good. Guys, my arms are broken, guys
Oh no... Guys. What is- what is happening to me. I can't move. I can't even look. You. It's all on you guys
I'm going into the- I see the bomb VERY closely
(simulaneous uh oh's)
OH MY fucking god. I don't think we can do it guys. The only thing we've been able to do is kill one of us
I got a bad feeling about this. Just grab it and lift. Ah okay. You're right. You're right. You're right when you're right, you're right
Jack: The worst part about this is if you don't get the grenade off in time, if you pull the pin and don't throw it you're fucking dead
You don't know that at all. You guys are fucked. You guys are
Fucked
Almost got that pin, you guys woulda been fucked
Jack: Ok, different plan of attack here
Gentlemen... Don't you call me a gentleman
You...
Delightful person
Come on the pin won't come out!
It's almost as if they don't want you to just be able to pull these out willy-nilly
Maybe you have to grab it, like you know finger. Maybe you have to like you know what I'm saying guys
I totally get you man. The finger and the grab
You get me? Let me know if you guys are getting me
Like comment and subscribe if you're getting me. Ring that bell if you're getting me
Oh, oh, oh come on
Eh I did it. I did it wait hang on, I gotta throw it
NO AGH it went behind me. I don't know where it is. God, help, help me
Ohhhh I'm alive
Fireworks!
(grunts)
Oh, that's how you're gonna be huh? Well two can play that game mister
Really. Can they?
Well apparently two can, I don't know if three can play that game mister, but I'm getting it alright, ok prove it, prove it
Prove it, bitch. Sorry I'm not as good at bullshit games as you are. Oh, okay alright. What about Wade?
What about Wade. What about Wade. Yeah? He's just a bullshit human being
Cmon guys
Oh, I got it. I got it. Okay. All right who's gonna get fucked who's gonna get fucked okay
Probably you. You don't know- Maybe that's the only way to win
You have to blow yourself up
You better throw it
Yeah, it's not- Whoop
My arm is not cooperating guys
DO IT
I'm gonna do it, I just have to- I want you to do it I want you to do it. I want you gonna do it, guys
(noises you make when you realize you're about to die)
Jack: There he goes... Oh wow
Oh god your grenades are still exploding. They're very potent grenades I'll have you know
(another bomb explodes)
Jack: YES. I win
The only guy that couldn't do it wins. That's such bullshit
Wade: I thought I had time to hold the grenade why'd it blow up right away??
I don't know, I don't know- You held yours for like 10 minutes!
That's cuz I'm better than you! I bet I can blow up your assholes
Oh god my hand's stuck
Oh god, guys, guys
Well it looks like it's just you and me
Wade: I didn't even have the fucking box open
All right, it's me the guy that can do this, and you the guy that can't...I think you have a better shot at this
All right, well a little flourish on that, all right. Here we go. I did it! I did it! All right. I've got my pin out
Better throw it
Aw come on I was just about to get you
I was just about to- ugh
Jack: Aw look at that flip! Whoa yeah baby
Ow, fuck
I wasn't trying to blow myself up it just happened. Was getting pretty stupid, pretty bullshit
Why are you even still here?
Subscribe to Markiplier.