(cups tapping)
("Carol of the Bells", rock version)
- I am a Christian and I don't give a fuck.
- I go to Starbucks all the time
because I'm a basic bitch.
- I like the cute little cups.
- Do I care about the cups?
No.
Should Santa Claus be pictured on everything
from toilet paper to dentist equipment?
Yes.
- As a Christian with this all happening with the cups,
it's like people are really gettin' their panties in a wad.
(energetic, upbeat music)
- You're gonna need to go to confession
after even looking at this cup.
- It's red and green.
What else do you want?
- It's so evocative of Christmas.
- Kind of fade and -- - It's called ombre.
- This is basically a Christmas tree.
- Yeah. I don't look at this and I'm like,
"I wonder like what this is for?"
Like, it's obviously Christmas!
(Carol of the Bells)
- Ding, dong, ding, dong.
(silly singing of Carol of the Bells)
(Carol of the Bells, rock version)
- It's gonna be like kind of Satanic.
But like a cute Satan that has cats.
(Carol of the Bells, rock version)
- Mine is a googly eye cup.
Screaming "Happy Holidays".
Some people celebrate different things
and this is Donald is a dick.
- Over here it says,
"Starbucks is greater than coffee bean."
- See my cross on the side for the Christians?
And then I put "Happy?" with a question mark.
- Surprise Patrick Starbucks,
because I love Sponge Bob and Patrick loves Christmas.
- I made kind of a Illuminati demon Starbucks cup.
- Look at the joy that this would bring children.
You might be going,
"Why googly eyes?"
Because Santa's always watching you.
- And we've got agnostics, we've got Jews,
we've got Christians with the red and green,
and then we have Dale, there.
He's a barista that looks like Santa,
but he's not Santa.
- Isn't the holidays about being nice to one another?
And bringing good cheer?
And maybe good coffee along the way.
Why do we gotta,
why ya always gotta be fussin' about somethin' ya all?
- Make like winter and get some chill.
- Be on your merry way.
Oop! I can't say that, can I?
- If The Grinch Who Stole Christmas taught us anything,
Christmas is not in a cup,
nor in our roast beast.
It is in our hearts.
And if we let these cups ruin our holiday spirit,
then we didn't deserve the magic of Santa Claus
in the first place.
- We have cups to drink out of and then throw away!
Fuck you if you're complaining about that!
There is worse shit in the world!
Ugh!