-Robert, it's great to see you again.
Thank you so much for coming back to the show.
-The same studio! -Yeah, this is it, right?
I have things I want to talk about, some pointers you had.
Some very high points of your career.
You've appeared on "The Tonight Show" over 80 times.
[ Cheers and applause ]
88. 88 to be exact.
-Something like that, including guest hosts.
-That's wild. I mean -- -You know, in the old days.
Some guest hosting.
-You have over 70 film and TV credits.
You were the first comedian to have an HBO special.
You went on to have nine HBO specials.
-That was coming. This had changed things, pay TV.
-Yeah.
-You could even use a naughty word or two.
-Or two.
You've been nominated for
two Emmys, two Grammys, one Tony award.
-Yeah, didn't win. [ Cheers and applause ]
I didn't win.
-You didn't win. -It was rigged! Rigged!
-It was rigged, I tell you!
And you can see Robert on "Will & Grace."
Currently as Debra Messing -- -I play fathers now.
I used to kiss the girls on the lips.
Now it's on the forehead. Otherwise it's...
[ Laughter and applause ]
-But you're great at that.
You worked with Jennifer as well, Jennifer Lopez.
-I played Jennifer's obstetrician.
I delivered her babies. -Yeah.
Well done. By the way, did a great job.
[ Applause ]
-I play a lot of -- I wanted to be a doctor when I was younger.
-Oh, did you?
-Yeah, a few things got in my way.
Calculus, physics. [ Laughter ]
Organic chemistry, inorganic chemistry, zoology.
-Yeah. -Reading.
-Yes. -Spelling.
-Yes. -Comprehension.
-Of course. [ Laughter ]
-Behavior. -Yes.
-Aptitude. -Yeah.
-Attitude and talent. -Yeah. Oh, my God.
Besides that, you could have been a doctor.
-This whole building, you know, has a lot --
I also did two specials here in -- in 8-H with --
Rodney Dangerfield was one of my guests.
-I heard -- He's one of my all-time favorites.
-He was my mentor, you know. -Was he really?
-He was my Yale drama school for stand-up.
Can I tell a quick story? -I'd love to hear, please.
-Of how I saved his life. This is a true story.
[ Laughter ] I'm serious.
I was hanging around with him. That's how I learned everything.
He was starting to get a little well-known.
No one knew me.
We had a gig in Buzzard's Bay in Cape Cod,
and we get up there, and it's terrible windy --
you know, terrible wind. And Rodney goes...
[ as Dangerfield ] "I'll tell you, man.
Let's take out a sailboat."
[ Normal voice ] I go, "Rodney, what do you know about sailing?"
He says, "What's there to know? It's the wind."
[ Laughter ]
So he gives $20 to the boat boy from Boston, this kid.
He says, "I don't know, Rodney.
You know, it's 35-knot winds out there.
The boss may not like it."
Never mind -- So he had to give us a sailing lesson.
-To you and Rodney Dangerfield? -Right. This is the fo'c'sle.
This is the main sole, and Rodney goes,
"Never mind that bull[bleep]. Just give me the keys."
[ Laughter ]
He wanted the keys to a sailboat.
The kid pushes us off, and in about nine seconds,
we're a thousand yards from shore.
I mean, you could have waterskied behind us.
[ Laughter ]
And he's in front like this,
and even though he was in a bathing suit,
he was tugging at his collar like he always did,
but there was no collar.
He's going, "I'll tell you, man. This is too much."
And the wind is blowing,
like a happy cocker spaniel with its head out the window.
You know? [ Laughter ]
And suddenly -- I mean, this is three-foot chop.
The water is cold. You know?
He said, "I'll tell you, I'm gonna take a swim,"
and he jumps off into the water.
And I don't know how to --
You know, the main sole and the fo'c'sle.
I'm from the Bronx'sle. [ Laughter ]
We're not a sailing people from the Bronx.
-The Bronx'sle. -You know, yohodyho.
In the Bronx, it's only yo! There's no hodyho.
-Yeah, of course. The Bronx.
-So I do the best I can.
I put the rudder all the way to one side
and made a nice tight turn of six miles,
wondering what I'm gonna tell "The New York Post"
when I come back alone, you know?
[ Laughter ]
"Yeah, were you jealous of Mr. Dangerfield?" You know.
And a blue hand comes over the thing.
He just made it. He was almost giving up.
-Wow. -He really was.
And -- 'cause he's smoking two packs of Marlboros a day.
He wasn't exactly Spitzer. You know, one of these swimmers.
But drowning, he sounded like
you would imagine Rodney Dangerfield would,
if he were drowning.
He went... [ Gurgling ]
[ Laughter ]
-I don't think I've ever heard an impersonation
of Rodney Dangerfield drowning. -Drowning.
-That's a fantastic impression.
-He was a remarkable, remarkable man in many ways.
Not all good. -Oh, he was the best.
-Not all bad, but he was -- he was --
we had a very close relationship for a long time.
-Did he give you any advice on "The Tonight Show"?
-Yes.
When Rodney was very undisciplined
in elements of his life, shall we say,
but when he had a "Tonight Show" to do,
he started months before collecting his jokes.
He called it a necklace.
He had put 19 jokes together, and he wrote them
on a shirt cardboard from the laundry
and he was attentive because he used to tell me,
"'The Tonight Show.' Okay?
You got millions of people watching you.
Okay? You know?"
-That's such a good impression.
-"And you've got to, you know --
he told me that was -- You had to prepare.
And Johnny was, you know, extraordinarily generous
if you did your work,
and then sometimes only he and the band were laughing.
And, you know, I must say the same thing about you.
You're a wonderful laugher.
You're a joyous guy, but that is -- it was my living.
I didn't do sitcoms. I didn't want to.
So my career was really created basically by "The Tonight Show."
-How did you get on the first "The Tonight Show"?
-Well, "The Merv Griffin Show" had offered me
an exclusive contract for five and my wonderful manager,
Jack Rollins, who managed Woody Allen and Joan Rivers
and Nichols and May.
"You know, lad?"
Those of you that know Jack would know that was gonna --
he just died.
He was 100 years old. -Geez.
-He said, save it for "The Tonight Show."
And they thought what I was doing at the time
was so different, you know?
-You were.
-It was at the time, really a different kind of style,
so they actually talked the producer
into letting me sit on the panel first
for a minute and a half or so
and then get up and do a stand-up.
-So you would sit next to Johnny and talk?
-The first time, and it was not a good idea.
I got -- I got trickles of laughter.
I'm going, "Humna, humna, humna, humna, humna."
And when I got up, I was ready and did my element, you know,
but it was -- they were trying to protect me.
But then I started doing it so much in one 12-month period.
I think I did it eight or nine times, you know,
writing material and --
it made my career, so it was extremely important.
-Look at you.
-It's not doing badly for yours either, pal.
-[ Laughs ] That's great.
Robert Klein, the one and only. [ Cheers and applause ]
We wanted to honor and commemorate this year
being your 50th anniversary
of your first "Tonight Show" appearance.
So we took the dates from your appearances
from 1968 through today and had them framed.
[ Cheers and applause ] Look at all that.
That's every single date. That's every single date.
Robert Klein, everybody.
Thank you for entertaining us for all those years.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Honored to have you on, buddy. I love you.
Robert Klein, everybody.