Ha, ha. Ow!
You're going on a date with my wife Karen, Ray Ray.
Oh, but I sound like Patrick.
Oh, no. You keep your mouth shut.
I will take care of that.
[chuckles]
Oh, Karen?
Dinner is served, my little love nugget!
Oh, my gosh. This looks amazing!
I loves my Ray Ray. [growling, giggling]
And I love my Karen. Now let's dig in!
[giggling]
Now, it is the chit-chat part of the date.
Amuse her with an interesting conversation.
Oh, um, chit-chat, um...
Can you believe this weather we're having?
Okay, good effort, but you might want to start
with something more personal.
A woman may like to talk about her day, for example.
She may want to talk about her promotion at work,
or the wacky antics of her pet snail,
or talk about how I was nearly late for our date
because I couldn't decide what to wear,
and then I didn't really have enough cash
to tip the lady at the nail salon.
[groaning]
[clearing throat] Dinner is served.
Oh! I'm famished!
Don't try to eat it. It's plastic.
Now this is the perfect opportunity
to work on your table etiquette.
Squidward, would you please pass the roasted kelp?
Here you go, ma'am!
Oh, thank you, sir!
Hey, Squidward, who's the lovely lady
sitting across from you?
I think she's giving me the cutesy eye.
This order goes to table seven.
And remember your manners.
For... ne.
Thir... ne.
That's a seven, Patricia.
Mr. Krabs, you ordered two Krusty meals?
[gasping] Did I order two meals?
Oh, silly me.
I can't possibly eat two Krusty meals, myself.
I guess you'll just have to help me finish all this food.
Okay.
Patricia, we may have only known each other for a short time,
now, but I feel like
a special connection has been made.
[belching]
Quite an appetite, but she's all woman.
Oh, Mr. Krabs,
this dinner has been so wonderful.
The coral was cooked to perfection.
[laughing]
I don't think I could eat another bite.
Oh, I doubt that, my little shrimp boat.
[laughing]
You're spoiling me, Mr. Krabs.
I mean, foot rubs between courses,
Caricatures. Imported music.
[piano playing]
Nothing's too good for you, my prickly peach.
Oh, what I'm trying to tell you, Mr. Krabs, is...
Sir, your fancy pantsy limousine is here.
Wonderful. Pufflily-poo, your chariot awaits.
Well...
[whistling]
[screaming]
You'll never have to walk again, my little lobster bib!
Yes, hello. I would like your most romantic table
for myself and my beautiful date
Shelby Naughtica, the robot.
Beep boop! [laughing]
Hmm. Mm-hmm. Shelby Naughtica, huh?
Oh, what a beautiful name.
Thank you! Ow!
I mean, thank you. Whoa! Beep boop beep bo boop!
I'll be right back with our lovers' special.
[laughing]
This is going so great, SpongeBob!
Karen is totally jealous!
Here we go. I whipped up a special batch of chum for you,
and for your lovely robot date,
a bucket of grease chock-full of nuts and bolts.
Plankton, I don't want to eat this.
Don't you ruin this for me, SpongeBoob, just eat it!
Uh.
Ugh. Oh, my dear, Shelby Naughtica,
you are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eye on!
Oh, Plankton-poo, you say the sweetest things.
[scoffs] Oh, brother.
I never knew what love was until I met you.
Oh! You have made me the happiest girl robot
in the world.
[giggling]
[grunting]
Whoa.
[groaning]
Allow me.
This food is so delicious. Ooh.
You don't suppose it has a... secret formula.
I don't suppose you know anything about secrets...
or formulas.
Ooh. I do have a very special recipe...
Yeeeess?
...for delicious kisses!
[groaning]
Cashina, would you mind if I kissed you?
Oh, Eugene. This is all moving so fast...
...just as I planned. [chuckles]
Be gentle!
Wow, what a woman!
Mr. Krabs, Squidward, allow me to introduce my date,
Patty.
Your date's a... Krabby Patty?
Me thinks the boy's really lost it.
What is that putrid odor?
[sniffing] Oh, it's that Krabby Patty.
What are you doing
with that rotten piece of meat, boy?
This isn't a “piece-o-meat”, Mr. Krabs.
She's Patty.
And we're on a special date tonight so you don't mind
if we get the "manager's treatment," do ya?
Sorry, boy, no can do.
Oh, really? Mr. Fiver says different.
What was that? I couldn't hear ya.
How about now?
All right, take a seat.
Grrrrrazie! Here you go, my dear.
A throne befitting a queen.
Oh, good evening, monsieur.
What might we have on the menu at this fine establishment?
[laughing]
Wah!
Ah.
Oh, Sheldon. You're so romantic.
It's all about you today, Karen.
Oh, this makes up for a lot
of your stupidity lately, Plankton.
Plankton's stepped away for a moment.
The name's Ray Ray,
and I am at your service, m'lady. Pow!
Oh, kiss me, pipsqueak. I mean, Ray Ray.
Grandma?!
Oh. This restaurant is so fancy.
Even the silverwares made of velvet. Ooh, ooh.
[laughing]
Nothing's too good for my Puffykins.
Madame and Monsieur, your menus.
Thank you. These prices!
[groaning]
And what would mademoiselle desire?
[giggling] I don't know.
What do you think, Krabsy-Wabsy?
The water looks delicious, Puffcake.
[laughing]
Such a kidder.
Monsiuer and I will have the Kelp Konsuime to start.
Start?
Followed by the Sargasso Salad.
[groaning]
And the Sweet and Sour Algae.
May I suggest the Coral Jubille for dessert?
Its our most expensive item.
Oh, yes! We must try that, Eugene. We'll take two.
[chuckles] Yeah, sure. Of course.
Excellent choice, mademoiselle.
[moaning] Do something, Krabs!
You're gonna go broke!
[groaning]
Ah. Hee hee hee. I'll get soup all over me nice suit,
and our meal will be free.
[grunting]
Whoa!
Oh!
[cheering]
[cheering, groaning]
I've got one last thing to try.
[grunting]
Waiter! There's an eyelash in me soup.
Oh my dear, how revolting.
Eeew.
SpongeBob?
Oh, bonjour, Mrs. Puff!
Mr. Krabs said if I came along, we'd all get a free meal.
Eugene! This is so embarassing!
So have you two known each other long?
Huh?
You can't do this to me, Mr. Plankton!
If you think I'm gonna stand out there all day
listening to...
[blabbering]
...then you must have coral wedged
in your frontal lobe!
[knocking]
[gasping]
[music playing]
Oh.
[music playing]
Mmm. Honey.
[music playing]
Ready?
[music playing]
SpongeBob, what are you doing?
Can't you see everybody here is doing 'the whack'?
[music playing]
The whack? Oh, yeah, I invented that one.
[grunting]
Are you sure you can do this?
Ooh!
[glass breaking]
[screaming]
My leg!
Well, I guess you can take me home now.
Good evening, sir. Table for one, please.
Sorry, but the whole restaurant
has been rented to a private party.
But it's my only night to be fancy.
Oh, who could afford to rent out the whole restaurant?
Oh, a couple of rich entrepreneurs
and their dates.
So... how long have you two ladies known each other?
What? What did he say?
Me daughter Pearl will be our server tonight.
How sweet.
Oh. [groaning]
[groaning]
[laughing]
[belching] Oh.
The sparkling sodder is extra fizzy tonight.
Now you just relax, Puffkins, while I consult
with me very expensive private chefs.
I have reservations for two tonight.
Right this way, sir.
Excuse me, I can't reach my silverware!
Terribly sorry, sir.
Will there be anything else?
Is my tie on straight?
You look fabulous!
Your gentleman caller awaits.
Hello, my dear.
I must say you look ravishing tonight.
Oh, my, you're a tiny thing, but awfully cute.
Tell me about yourself.
Well, I'm in the food service business.
I'm a bit of a restauranteur.
I am the founder and owner of the Chum Bucket.
Never heard of it.
It's across the street.
Doesn't ring a bell.
It's on the back of the phone book.
Come on! I paid a lotta money for that ad!
Never mind, never mind. I'd like to hear about you.
Well...
- Plankton! - Krabs!
- Eugene! - Mommy?
"Mommy?"
SpongeBob!
Ooh, looks like Squidward has a date.
Good for him. It can be so tough to put yourself out there.
Oh, no. Poor Squidward. He's all alone!
Ah! [grunting]
Don't worry, friend. I'm here for you.
Hm? Oh. Oh, that feels good. Huh?
[screaming]
Hmm, maybe he's hungry.
[groaning]
[panting]
Come on, Squidward! Eat your...
Ow, hand cramp! Hand cramp! Hand cramp!
[groaning]
Ow-ow-ow-ow!
[screaming]
[grunting]
[screaming]
[music playing]
Ah, I'm floating on air.
A balloon ride, a candle-light dinner,
and our wedding song is playing. This date is perfect.
No, you're perfect, Karen.
You're the best computer wife a copepod ever could have.
- Bon-bon? - Oh, I shouldn't.
Indulge yourself, my darling.
Thank you, Plankton.
This is truly a date to remember.
Well, my love, you haven't seen anything yet.
For you, my love!
Oh, Ray Ray! [chuckles]
[sniffing] Mm.
That's right, baby. Ray Ray is at your service.
Ray Ray, you've got my cooling fans running on high.
Mrs. Puff, we've been dating for 16 years now.
So I was sincerely hoping
that today might finally be the day that...
Yes, Eugene?
...that I steal a little kiss.
[giggling]
Oh, Eugene, I thought you'd never ask.
Come here, you.
[farting sound]
Oh.
What a woman.
Oh, Eugene.