Today we’re going to look at a passage from Ephesians 5 that has caused a number of
difficulties for many people. In Ephesians 5:22-24 it says that wives are to submit
to their husbands, and that husbands are the head of the wife. Doesn’t this sound a little…
Sexist? Does the Bible teach that women are in some sort of inferior position to men?
Let’s look a little deeper at this passage and see if we can get a little more understanding.
Before we can understand any one individual difficult passage, we need to make sure that we
see it in light of other parts of the Bible that are much clearer. When we look at this passage
in Ephesians, we need to keep in mind some other parts of the Bible that can help us. In Galatians
3 Paul says that when we are in Christ, there is no longer any spiritual hierarchy among us. These
social, racial, and sexist lines that people have often used to divide, have no place in
the Kingdom of God. He specifically says that in Christ there is no longer male and female,
but both are equal before Christ. So what Ephesians is not saying, is that men have any sort
of superior spirituality over women… which I’m sure my wife would be able to attest to firsthand.
So then, if this is not talking about spiritual hierarchy, is this then talking about a position
of authority in the household? Do husbands have some sort of God-given position of
authority over their wives? Paul actually gives a very clear answer to this one in 1
Corinthians 7:4. There, Paul says, “the wife does not have authority over her own body,
but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body,
but the wife does.” So yes, the husband has authority over his wife, but in the same way
the wife has authority over her husband. They each have authority over the other.
So Ephesians is not giving men or husbands any special position of authority over their wives,
any more than their wives also have a position of authority over their husbands. In fact,
in the first century what Paul said here in Corinthians was revolutionary for gender equality!
Going back to our passage in Ephesians 5, before he gives instructions to the wives to
submit to their husbands, there is an important verse that is often forgotten. In 5:21 it says,
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This is a universal instruction for
how we are all to live towards one another. This is not just wives to husbands, but husbands to
wives as well. What does this look like? As Paul says in Philippians, it is regarding others as
better than yourself. And in Romans it looks like trying to outdo one another in showing honor.
Then in verse 23 he says, “the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the
church.” So what does Paul mean when he says that the husband is the head of the wife? There are
two ways that people commonly take this. The first way says that the husband is the head of the wife,
in the way that a boss is the head of his employees. The boss makes the important decisions,
and then tells the employees what they are to do. The second way looks to understand
this statement in light of the second half of the verse. The husband is the head of the wife,
in the same way that Christ is the head of the church. The husband should model himself
after Christ, in other words. What does that look like? One of the best explanations for
how Jesus was the head of the church is in Philippians 2:7-8, “Jesus emptied himself,
taking the form of a servant, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form,
he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death—even death on a cross.”
What does does it look like with the husband being the ‘head’? In the Bible,
the head is not a boss or leader that is served by their inferiors,
but it is a servant whose mission is to serve and elevate others. That’s what Christ did for us,
and how a husband should treat his wife, and that’s how we are all to treat one another.
…which I’m sure my wife would be able to attest to firsthand (are you not sure about that?)